


Love Hurts

by Insidemyangstymind, LokiLover84



Category: VIXX
Genre: Character Death, Cheating, Cutting, Depression, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Heavy Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Major Character Injury, Misunderstandings, Past Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-06-28 06:39:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 61,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15701880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insidemyangstymind/pseuds/Insidemyangstymind, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiLover84/pseuds/LokiLover84
Summary: A chance meeting at a club leads to much more than either of them expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so warnings first. There's angst like crazy as the story progresses, as well as self harm/cutting, cheating, and a suicide attempt. Please, if any of this is a trigger for you, DO NOT READ!! If that doesn't bother you, then please proceed at your own risk!
> 
> OK, now that that's out of the way, welcome to another amazing fix from raviownsme and myself! This is a but different from the last story, but no less amazing to write. We've put our heart and soul into it, and we both hope you enjoy! If so, don't forget to leave kudos or drop us a comment. Remember, your reactions are what keep us writing! :)

(Leo)

 

They say that you should never wonder on a bad day how it could possibly get worse. I guess I should have remembered that as I was trudging home, cursing waking up this morning. My day had started off bad- a missed alarm, which meant I was forced to watch from a block away as the bus drove away without me. It had simply snowballed from there, with a missing paper-laying at home on my desk, right where I’d left it so I  _ wouldn’t forget it-  _ to detention during last period because of the forgotten paper. I mutter under my breath, wondering just how bad it was going to get.

 

And of course, the clouds just had to open up on me several blocks from home. I shiver as the wind whipped past me, seeming to try and push me back. If you’d told me at this point that wind gods were trying to keep me out in the elements for as long as they could, I wouldn’t have been surprised. 

 

When I finally get home, I unlock the door, slightly amazed that the key doesn’t break in the lock, stepping inside and shutting the door behind me. The apartment is quiet, the only sound the slight  _ tink _ of the sink dripping in the kitchen. I sigh, relieved that Hakyeon isn’t home right now. As much as I love him-he is my best friend, after all, and has been since we were kids- I don’t feel like being bombarded with questions right now. 

 

I toe off my shoes and drop my soaked bookbag by the door, padding across the living room and up the step to my bedroom door. Flinging it open, I enter my room, not bothering to shut the door as I strip out of my wet clothes. My phone I rescue from the back pocket of my jeans, blessing Hakyeon for buying me a waterproof case for my birthday. I toss it onto my bed, then grab some pajama pants from the drawer and slip them on. Then, gathering up my wet things, I carry them to the bathroom and dump them into the washing machine. Grabbing a towel, I rub at my hair, finally just draping it over me as I head back to my room. I lay down on my bed, grabbing my phone as I sink down, making myself comfortable as I unlock the screen with my thumbprint. 

 

**1 new message.**

 

My head starts to pound and I feel my stomach drop to my feet as I open the message and read it. 

 

**Leo, I’ve been thinking, and…**

 

I can’t help the cry that spills from my lips as I bolt upright, throwing my phone as hard as I can across the room, where it hits my bookshelf and falls to the floor. I don’t know if I’ve broken it, but I couldn’t care less at the moment. 

 

My day has now been crowned with a fucking cherry-my boyfriend just dumped me. Bastard. Now what am I supposed to do? I lay back down, everything inside me hurting, but I don’t cry, because that’s just not something I do. Instead, I plan to just lay here and slowly die. 

  
  


(N)

 

Just as I'm walking in the door, I hear a loud crash coming from Leo's room as he screams.

 

**What the hell is going on?**

 

I scramble up the step, flinging his door open. Leo's lying on his bed, phone on the floor by the bookshelf, shattered screen and all.

 

I can tell by the look on his face, whatever was on that phone was not the best of news. 

 

**Leo? What's wrong?**

 

I walk over, sitting on the edge of his bed. I lay my hand on his shoulder, silently waiting on him to talk. 

 

Leo's not much of the talking type, but sometimes, he and I can have some pretty decent conversations. We've know each other forever, having grown up in the same neighborhood. We've seen each other through some pretty fucked up things, but hey, what are friends for, right?

 

After several minutes of Leo mumbling and sighing dramatically, I was able to piece things together. 

 

So, his jackass of a boyfriend, who I hated anyway, broke up with him. All of this, after a day from hell, that he swears will only get worse. 

 

**Leo, my friend, what you need is a night out with me and some friends. We'll help you forget about today, what do you say?**

 

Pulling my best aegyo, I add with flair.

 

**Please, pwetty pwease? I Pwomise that you'll have fun!**

 

He finally agrees, only because he said my aegyo was on point. 

 

I call up my girlfriend, then my boyfriend, and a few other mutual friends and plan a night out to remember. Little did I know, that tonight would change Leo forever.

  
  


I didn’t hear the sound of Hakyeon coming in the front door of the apartment over the noise of my phone shattering, so when he comes bursting into my room, I wince. He glances at me, then across the room to where my phone lays in shards on the floor. His brows crease in worry. 

 

**Leo? What’s wrong?**

 

As usual, it’s hard for me to get the words out, especially when he sits down beside me, one hand resting comfortably on my shoulder. I bury my head in my hands and try to get it out. After a while, he seems to understand, both about the day I’ve been having and my boyfriend breaking up with me. 

 

**Leo, my friend, what you need is a night out with me and some friends. We’ll help you forget about today, what do you say?**

 

I peek through my fingers, studying his face. He grins at me, pulling out his amazing aegyo, which always works on me. 

 

**Please, pwetty pwease? I pwomise that you’ll have fun!**

 

I can’t deny that, so I nod reluctantly. Maybe a night out will be better for me than laying around the apartment. Hakyeon whips out his phone when I agree, going out to the living room and closing my door halfway for privacy. He calls both his girlfriend and boyfriend, then a bunch of other friends, planning our night out. I half listen as I debate what to wear, deciding on something simple, since I’m not totally sure where we’re going or where we might wind up. I slip out of my pyjama pants and throw them on my bed for later. Then I slide into a pair of dark skinny jeans with large rips in the knees. A white t-shirt is next, and I complete it with a black-and-white striped jacket. I slip my tennis shoes on, run my fingers through my hair and observe myself in the mirror above my dresser. Not bad, but I decide to add one last thing, just because tonight I feel like I deserve it. I pull my eyeliner from my dresser drawer, where I keep it tucked safe under my socks. Lining my eyes makes them look even more amazingly cat-like than they normally do, and it’s the one vanity I allow myself. I know it gets me more looks than normal, which tonight I decide won’t be a bad thing. Smiling a little at my reflection, I turn to head out to the living room and join Hakyeon. 

 

**Alright Leo, let's go!**

 

We head out the door, walking down the street to meet with our friends. Leo is quiet, still sulking after his shitty day. Once we are all together, we pick a club with a base, planning on drinking our cares away and dancing with almost anything with two legs. We decided on Le Queen; even though it's a gay club by nature, everyone goes there. 

 

The line was longer than the block, but we knew the owner. Shooting her a text, we were on the guest list before we got there. I really owe her a threesome with me and Chae. The music was blasting, sweaty bodies covering the dance floor like a crazed mass.

 

**Leo. Let's hit the bar first! First round’s my treat!**

 

The night was beginning, but I don't remember the end. Yeah for alcohol, right?

 

(Ra)

I really hate idiots. I hate dense idiots even more. I am trying to get the director in my company to see that I have to order the ink supply for the studio. My partner artists were running low, and they had clients coming there end of the week. Our tattoo studio was about to open another shop and we still didn't have everything, which my director should know, but obviously didn't. Damn idiots. 

 

After spending three hours arguing with that idiot, I was ready to explode. I was going to be late to Le Queen, having to do body art on one of the dancers before her performance. I also really hate being late, so when I got there, I headed straight for the bar to get my drink order placed while I was getting set up. 

 

I was slightly, okay very impatient, so I tried to ask the guy in front of me to hurry up. What preppy college kid would wear jeans and a jacket to a gay/Drag Queen club? Why would they be in this club anyway?  Tapping him on the shoulder, I was about to say something when he turned around. The first thing that caught my attention was his eyes. I am a sucker for eyes, they are the window to the soul, and I always want to search someone's soul. It's a way to keep them from trying to get into mine.

 

His eyes were cat-like, accentuated by heavy lines of eyeliner, that made them more mysterious. He was younger than me by at least four years, innocent looking face. Aish, poor fella, going to get himself hurt with that face. But I had to admit that he had a strangely alluring pull about him. His hair was a deep red, his bangs slightly over his eyes. His lips were a bit plump, but not too overly plump, just kind of pouty.

 

Going back to his eyes, I focused on them while I spoke.

 

**Hey, I need to place my order, can you hurry it up just a bit?**

 

He just kinda looked at me, turned back around and kept ordering. Little shit, if I wasn't in a hurry, I'd be busting your preppy little ass. Finally he stepped aside, and I placed my order, telling them I would be backstage, prepping for the body art.

 

Preppy kid had walked away, and I caught sight of something when I wound up behind him. The way his body moved when he walked, those long legs stretching with each step in not quite a strut, not not quite a sway, but a bit of sass and and I couldn't help but follow him until I absolutely had to walk backstage.

 

Wonder if he can dance as good as he looked. I would have to wait and find out later. Off to paint some naked body now. 

 

Hakyeon is his usual bouncy self when we leave the apartment, heading down the street to our usual meet-up spot with everyone he was able to call. As a group, we start our short walk to the club- Le Queen, a gay/drag queen club we’ve been to a hundred times before, and one of the few where I feel almost completely comfortable. Hakyeon takes out his phone as the club comes into view, shooting a text to the owner, a woman he’s known a long time. I have my suspicions about their relationship, but I’d never bring it up. At any rate, the reply allows us to bypass the huge line, which I’m thankful beyond words for. I couldn’t imagine hell, but standing in line for hours after coming out to have fun might be comparable. As we entered the club, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was packed, as usual, which was usually a problem for me-I hated large crowds, but here it felt safe-there were way too many people for anyone to notice me. Hakyeon turned to me, grinning, as most of our group splintered off, looking for a place to sit. 

 

**Leo. Let’s hit the bar first! First round’s my treat!**

 

I nodded, giving him a small smile, and we headed for the bar. He managed to order a drink and down most of it while I was still considering. Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder, and I turned around, a little apprehensive for being touched. But what I came face-to-face with made my mouth go dry. 

 

To say he was gorgeous would be a gross understatement. His blue hair was something I was instantly jealous of-I’d tried it once with my own hair, and Hakyeon had called me a mermaid for a month-but it seemed to suit him. His eyes were cool behind round, wire-frame glasses, and his white shirt hung loose on his slender frame, the top two buttons undone, giving a glimpse of a tattoo across the left side of his chest. He was probably a half-dozen years older than me, and he had an air of danger. In short, he was like my every wet dream come to life. But something in me recognized the potential for violence in him, and it both attracted and scared me. This was the kind of man I tried to avoid-the kind that could steal my heart by barely trying and stomp it into dust. I’d seen his kind before, even had a close call a time or two, and those had been learning experiences. I knew better than to do anything other than get out of his way, as soon as possible. 

 

**Hey, I need to place my order, can you hurry it up just a bit?**

 

His voice, smooth and dark as whiskey, had heat rising in my cheeks as I realized suddenly that I’d been staring. I blinked, forced myself to turn back to the bartender and choke out an order. At the same time, I was hyper-aware that he was still just behind me. I waited nervously for my drink, and when it was in my hand, I turned and walked away, without looking back. And, even though I knew it was a horrible idea, I couldn’t help but put a small sway in my walk, just a hint of sass. I giggled as I slid into the booth with my friends, keeping my head down until I couldn’t feel the heat of his eyes on me anymore. 

 

(N)

**There’s the Leo I know and love! What’s got you so tickled?**

 

Leo joined us at our booth, a wide grin on is face and a giggle. I don’t like seeing Leo where he can’t just be happy and enjoy himself. When he gets like that, I know the only thing to bring him back out of his shell is a night out. Maybe even find him a one-night stand to get him over the ex-jerkface. Did I mention I hate his ex-boyfriend? Anyway, we finished our rounds, then Chae and Baekhyun went to the dance floor. I love watching them together, in more way than one, but I digress. So Leo and I are left in the booth, his eyes looking around, maybe trying to find someone he wants to hook up with for the night. I just sit back and enjoy the atmosphere. Getting ready for the performance tonight. There are a couple of Queens dancing and I couldn’t wait to see it. I was also itching to get on the dance floor, so I grabbed Leo’s wrist and drug him to the center of the floor. 

 

Man, can he dance too! Leo dancing, is like watching the sunrise after a storm, it enraptured me. He is fluid, graceful, and I would even admit, sensual. Everyone around us backed away, giving him room and just watched. He could get lost in it, and I was envious of him at times like these. When the music ended, he stood there breathless, and when he realized every eye was on him, he blushed and hung his head as he left the floor.

 

(RA)

 

I started my painting, working on every minute detail she wanted me to add. It took my about an hour finish her upper body, and I needed a break before finishing. I went to get another drink and stretch my limbs. I noticed people moving aside, their eyes trained on the center of the floor. I had to see what was so special that people weren’t dancing. I made my way to the upper level, pushing my way through some drunk people in my way. 

 

When  looked down, I could help but stare. The preppy college kid was dancing, and it was amazing. Those legs were… I can’t explain it. His body could hypnotize you with the way it moved to the beat. His muscles were taut under his jeans, his arms reaching out for miles. That red hair, already damp with sweat, hung over those soul catching cat eyes. When the music was over, he stood there like a statue, panting hard. Damn, I could make him pant harder. I shouldn’t be thinking like that, but I was. Funny thing was, when he noticed those people around him, he was suddenly shy. That’s not what happens to someone who can move like that. I had to tear my eyes away from him, but I was going to find him later.

 

I went back to finish my painting, but I just couldn’t keep my mind focused. Damn preppy college kid, you better not leave.

  
  


(Leo) 

 

**There's the Leo I know and love! What's got you so tickled?**

 

I flashed Hakyeon a smile as I slid opposite of him, but refused to say anything. He squinted suspiciously at me, but didn't push. I looked around, eyeing potential one night stands, the alcohol and beat of the music making me feel a little more uninhibited. I caught Hakyeon looking at me from the corner of my eye, and I turned to look at him. He tossed the remainder of his drink back, then slid out of the booth, grabbing my hand. I knew he wanted to dance, so I took another drink and followed him onto the dance floor. 

 

The dance floor was the one place I felt completely at ease, no matter how many people were around. On the dance floor, with or without a partner, the world fell away and it was just me and the music. My body swayed and dipped, and my head fell back, eyes closed. But I could still sense Hakyeon near me, and I effortlessly kept him as my anchor. 

 

And then the heat of that stare was back. It was almost a physical touch, and it almost made me falter. I opened my eyes, looking around, body still moving, until I looked up to the balcony on the second level of the club, and the guy from the bar caught my attention. I felt a familiar spark ignite in my blood, and I knew without a doubt that if he made a move, I would be going home with him tonight. 

  
  


(N)

 

After we finished dancing, Leo headed back to the booth and I stayed behind to dance with my lovers. I had seen enough, and I was ready to take them both home and have my own fun. Asking Leo if he was ready to head out, he told us that he was planning on staying a bit longer, that boy obviously knew what I was up to so he was being nice and letting me have the apartment for awhile. He’d come later, after everyone was either gone or asleep in my room. And that’s why I love that boy, he knows me so well.

 

**Alright then, we’re heading out. Call me if you need anything.**

 

Giving him a quick hug, we were out the door in a rush. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

I finished the body painting, admired my work for a bit, then headed out to the club. I want to see the performance, I swear I do, partly, kinda. Screw it, I want to find preppy college boy and talk with him. Who knew, he could be a pretty good release for my stress after today and painting all night on a moving canvas. I scanned the dance floor, no such luck. Looking to the bar, I caught a glimpse of him in a booth towards the back. Good, he hasn’t seen me yet. I walk around the long way, making sure I stay hidden by the throngs of drunk people stumbling around and bumping into me. I swear, one more drunk idiot running into me, I will just have to go all psycho on them, and that’s not hard for me to do lately.

 

I make my way to the far side of the booth, sliding in beside him. I have just a few seconds to really look at him before he notices I am in his booth. He is pretty hot for a preppy college kid. This close, those eyes are extremely sexy. His jawline is perfect, and i find myself wanting to run my tongue over it. Shit, it has been way too long. That red hair gives his complexion a haunting paleness. It reminds me of coffee with almost too much cream, but you want it anyway. It’s smooth and flawless. The way his adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, make me want to make it bob for other reasons.

 

If he doesn’t talk soon, I may be having a one night stand right here, and not that I would mind that, but he probably would. Ah, he looks at me at last.

 

**Hey there preppy college boy** .  **Names Ravi, What’s yours?**

  
  


(Leo)

 

When the song ended, I made my way off the floor and back to the booth. Hakyeon stayed behind, his hands on his girlfriend’s hips as she swayed to the music, and his boyfriend behind him, plastered against his back. By the blissed out look on his face, I knew that I’d be staying behind at the club while he took them home. It meant a couple more hours at the club for me, but I didn’t mind. At least my best friend was happy. Sure enough, after another half-hour, Hakyeon made his way over to me, politely asking me if I were ready to go. Shaking my head, I told him to go ahead, I was going to hang out a bit longer. Winking at me, he took his leave. 

 

**Alright then, we’re heading out. Call me if you need anything.**

 

He hugged me, then headed for the door. I waved as they left, then sighed as I sank into the plush back of the booth. I was tired, and I really did want to go home, but there was no way I was going to cock-block my best friend. And even if going home didn’t hinder his ability to be with his lovers, it would certainly not help my mood to hear the three of them, with our rooms sharing a wall. No, thank you, that was something I’d avoid at all costs. 

 

I was so immersed in my thoughts that I didn’t even see  _ him  _ coming. Usually, with someone who has caught my interest as much as  _ he  _ had, I made it a point to keep tabs on them. Unfortunately, this time I let my guard down, and all of a sudden, I wasn’t alone in the booth anymore. Blinking, I realized he’d slid in across from me, and was staring at me intently, studying me. I have no idea how long he’d been there, but I could read the hunger in his eyes well enough. I had a feeling that he didn’t let people read him very often, but here he was, looking at me as if I were a particularly tasty treat. I swallow, hard, and his eyes follow the movement of my adam’s apple. When he finally speaks, the sound sends blood straight to my cock, making me half hard in an instant. 

 

**Hey there preppy college boy. Name’s Ravi. What’s yours?**

 

As far as pickup lines go, it’s kind of cheesy, and I want to laugh, but I get the feeling that that wouldn’t go over very well with him. So instead, I shrug. It’s half a protective measure, half a flirt. I don’t know if I could even answer him if I wanted to- he makes me nervous, and being nervous makes it hard for me to capture the words I want to use. I feel the heat rising in my cheeks, suddenly worried that I may not be able to speak at all. And, suddenly reckless, I make a huge effort to answer him, for heaven only knows what reason. I know this is a bad idea, but I can’t seem to stop myself. ****

**Leo.**


	2. Chapter 2

 

(Ra)

So, his name is Leo. And that voice, it's so soft. Not like  _ soft _ soft, but just the right amount of soft. As I look at him, I can tell he's getting nervous, and I secretly want to warn him that he has good reason to be. 

 

I'm usually not as nice in the bed as I am in public, a few lovers have found that out the hard way. I like control, lots of it, and that innocence in his face tells me he hasn't been treated as rough as I like it. I hear my brain telling my crotch,  **_guess you need to break him in_ ** **.** I really want to listen to my brain right now.

 

I feel a familiar stirring low in my gut, but if I plan on taking him home, I have a feeling I need to take it slow and play my cards right. Guess my little brain didn't get the memo, though.

 

**I see your friends left, need a ride home?**

 

(Leo)

 

A small, quiet voice inside me is telling me that accepting a ride home from this guy- Ravi- would be the epitome of a bad idea. I usually listen to said voice- I’ve had years to learn that it’s usually the thing I should listen to when I’m making important decisions. 

 

And if there were ever an important choice to be made, this is it. 

 

**I see your friends left, need a ride home?**

 

I swallow nervously, his hot gaze staring me down, seeming to promise so many things I’d love tonight, but that I might well regret in the morning. 

 

Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

 

I nod almost imperceptibly, then I say it out loud, just to make sure he knows I’m accepting. 

 

**Yes, I suppose I will.**

 

I readjust my body, acting like I’m relaxing, when in fact I’m more aware of him than ever, waiting to see what he’ll say. 

 

(Ravi)

 

Nice! I get to take him home, but not to his place if I can convince him to come home with me.

 

I begin thinking, with my little brain, all that I could do to those pouty lips. I don't usually prefer the younger ones, but there is something about him that makes me want to break him. I really hope he's not as innocent as he appears, because they would make me feel bad if I cause him some pain.

 

I nod, getting up from the booth. When he stands up beside me, I find that he is almost my height and actually had some semblance of strength in his body. Oh boy, this could be fun. 

 

We head out, walking the short distance in silence. I wonder what he's thinking, hopefully the same thing I am. A one night stand, that's all I need, to get today's frustrations out of my system. Rough, hard sex, just the way I like it.

 

**So, college boy, your place or mine?**

 

(Leo)

 

I’m second-guessing myself like crazy as I stand up, half of me wanting this thoughtless release, the other half of me thinking I’m insane. One night stands are one thing, but I get the feeling that if I go through with this, it’ll change me in some way that no other one night stand has ever done. 

 

Or maybe it’s just the alcohol making me feel like there’s more to it than I think. 

 

I’m surprised when, upon rising to my feet, I find that Ravi and I are about the same height. For some reason, I felt small next to him. When he turns to go, I follow. The night air embraces us warmly, and I breathe it in as I follow him to his car. It's no surprise to me that it's a sleek sports car, and looks like it cost serious money. It isn't until he unlocks the passenger side door, swinging it open for me, that I really feel like running away, back to the club where it's safe. 

 

**So, college boy, your place or mine?**

 

I'm having trouble answering, even though I know well enough that if I do this, it'll have to be his place. No way am I taking him back to my apartment where Hakyeon is doing God knows what. I can feel my cheeks heating up, and I have to fight to make my tongue move. My answer comes out in a strangled whisper. 

 

**Your place.**

 

(Ra)

Thankfully he said my place. There I can be myself. Going to their place inhibits me, I can’t let loose, like I can at my place. I can feel the hesitation radiating off of him, I know he’s nervous. Some random tattoo guy coming up to you, looking like he could either eat you  alive or be the teacher you have a crush on. Actually, I could be either, depending on my mood that day. Tonight was ‘eat you alive’, and I had no apologies. I was horny as hell, and he looked delicious, what can I say. I sped through the streets, eager to get home, but i figured I would have to ease into things with this young thing, make him relax before anything began. There is a side to me, that even though I like being in control, I like my partner to be comfortable… and pliable.

 

We pulled up to the front of my place. It was a refurbished warehouse that I designed to be part studio, part apartment. It was decorated in an eclectic style, steampunk mixed with luxe. I watched him eyeing the place with a bit of apprehension. And so it began, my method of relaxing and then dining on my prey.

 

**Have a seat, I going to fix a drink, want one?**

 

I gazed at him from the kitchen, his eyes widening as he second guessed his decision, then swallowing hard before he answered.

 

(Leo)

 

The ride to Ravi’s didn't take long, and I spent most of the time watching him from the corner of my eye. He handled the car as if it were an extension of his body. As I watched his competent fingers grip the steering wheel, I could imagine what his hands would feel like on my body. I was already half hard when we pulled up to his house. I stared at the ground as we walked in, not getting much more than an impression of the outside rather than a look. But inside caught my attention. The decor didn't seem to follow any particular style, rather they had been chosen for some reason because Ravi liked looking at them. The end result was, somehow, better than any scheme. 

 

**Have a seat, I'm going to fix a drink, want one?**

 

His voice startled me out of my thoughts, and I nodded. 

 

**Yes, please. Anything is fine.**

 

I hoped it was a little strong, though. I might need all the liquid courage I could get to make it through tonight. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

Anything leaves me an opening for, well, anything. I find my barrel aged whiskey flask, pouring us both a full snifter. Adding a few cubes of ice, I walk over and hand him his. He looks out of place in my place, the preppy attire clashes with my decor, but yet it intrigues me that I found him worthy to bring here. Usually my partners are more rough around the edges, so I don't know why I chose one so… opposite. Maybe it was the thrill of something new, maybe it was the way he moved when he danced. It was definitely those eyes that sucked me in. I couldn't read him yet, and I wanted to figure him out.

 

Taking a long drink for my glass, I looked him up and down, then asked him the first basic question.

 

**How do you expect this to go?**

 

I had to know if he likes to be in control, which could pose a problem, also if he is a rough lover or prefers gentler sex. I knew I was going to have him, one way or another, I just liked knowing  what I'm up against.

 

(Leo)

 

I accept the snifter of whiskey, taking a sip and enjoying the burn. I try my best to ignore his gaze and focus on grounding myself. Of course, that only works as long as he doesn’t speak. Because that voice of his? Every time I hear it, my stomach swoops and my heart skips a beat. It can’t be good. 

 

**How do you expect this to go?**

 

I can’t answer that, because I honestly don’t know. I know instinctively that I can’t be his equal in this, whatever this is, so I just shrug. I know I’m stepping even deeper into something dangerous, but I just can’t seem to help myself. 

 

**However you want it to. I came home with you, so you’re in charge.**

 

I don’t know what possesses me, but I force my eyes up to his, lips curving in a slight smirk. 

 

**Do what you want with me.**

 

I hope I don’t regret this. 

 

(Ra)

 

Oh that poor boy, has no idea what he just asked for. Leaving that kind of opening can get you in all kinds of trouble. But for now, I simply sit down opposite of him, both of us quickly downing the whiskey. 

 

When his glass was finally empty, and he was starting to get that glassy-eyed gaze, I knew it was time show Leo what I could teach him. By the time I was done with him, he would either be broken or be reborn. I was beginning to prefer reborn, as a little plaything for me.

 

I slide my glasses to the top of my head, effectively bringing my hair back out of my eyes. I part my lips just enough to draw my bottom lip between my teeth. I rake my eyes over him, starting at his shoes and going up to his hair, landing back at his eyes. He is a fine specimen indeed, and I plan on having so much fun with him, if he actually lets me go through with everything. 

 

I stand up, walking over to him and crouching down to be eye level with him.

 

**Preppy, I'm going to kiss you now. Don't move and don't make a sound.**

 

I don't give him time to answer as I bring my lips were millimeters from his. Placing my hands on the armrests on either side of him, I lean in, testing the waters before I give in.

 

I ghosted my lips across his, seeing if he would do as I said. Good job preppy, you did listen. When I was pleased that he obeyed, I leaned in again, this time claiming his mouth in a needy kiss. I parted those plump lips with my tongue, tasting the whiskey that lingered. It was warm and his tongue soft as it touched mine. Lifting one of my hands, I grabbed his hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer. He let me lead the kiss, tasting and feeling him respond to me.

 

Damn, he sure knows how to kiss back. My lungs were screaming for air, but I refused to stop. When I was about to pass out, I broke away, panting and gasping. 

 

**Fuck preppy, kudos to the person that taught you to kiss.**

 

I wanted more of him, needed more of him, screw this playing around. 

 

Grabbing his sweater jacket, I pulled him out of the seat and made him stand before me.

 

**Preppy, you have ten seconds to change your mind. After that, you aren't leaving until I say you can.**

 

I counted to ten slowly in my head. 

 

(Leo)

 

I found myself sinking into a chair, the whiskey working its magic on my body and brain, and I could only stare as Ravi pushed his glasses up on his head, which both got his hair out of his eyes and gave it a purposely messy look. My eyes track his every movement, my breath hitching when he bites his bottom lip with perfect, white teeth. I can feel his eyes roving over my body, from my feet to my head, finally landing back on my face. 

 

He walks over to me and crouches down, putting us eye to eye. 

 

**Preppy, I’m going to kiss you now. Don’t move and don’t make a sound.**

 

He brings his hands up to the armrests of the chair, effectively trapping me, before he brushes his lips across mine. I bite back the soft gasp that rises in my throat, eager to please him. He kisses me a second time, this time parting my lips with his tongue. He takes his time, exploring my mouth until I tentatively lick back. He grabs the back of my head and I have to swallow a moan. When he breaks away, he leaves me gasping softly.

 

**Fuck preppy, kudos to the person that taught you to kiss.**

 

Before I can form any kind of answer to that, he’s standing, grabbing my jacket and lifting me out of the chair. 

 

**Preppy, you have ten seconds to change your mind. After that, you aren’t leaving until I say you can.**

 

His words send a jolt straight to my cock, and I can’t help the soft whine that escapes. Run away, and miss out on whatever he’s offering me? I can’t do it. I don’t want to. So I simply shake my head. 

 

**I’m not going anywhere.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, first chapter with sexual content. Little bit of bondage as well, nothing too out of the ordinary. ;) Enjoy!!

(Ra)

 

As soon as he says it, I breathe a sigh of relief. I take his hand, leading him down the hall to my room, no not my bedroom, but my room. The room I reserve for playing with my playthings. Opening the door, I feel him hesitate slightly before he continues to follow me. I walk him over to the single bed in the middle of the room, pushing him down on the edge. I strip him of his jacket, wasting no time in removing his shirt too. His skin is like porcelain, smooth and flawless.  I force him to lay down, stretching his arms above his head. I secured his wrists into leather cuffs, making sure he had no slack to work with. Reaching to the metal bar of the headboard, I grab the black scarf, covering his eyes and tying it in the back. I then unbutton his pants, sliding the zipper down before I jerk them over his hips along with his boxers. He is completely naked and laid out for me. The muscles in his legs quiver, most likely in anticipation of my next move. Running my hands up his inner thighs, I come to stop at the junction of his legs and hips. Pushing against them I spread his legs. Taking one ankle, I tie it down with the same type of cuff followed by the other ankle.

 

I stood over him, a flash of fear and trepidation crossing his face. I like it when they don't know what's happening, I find pleasure in surprises. Watching him fidget in the cuffs, I chuckled a bit before I began explaining what I was planning.

 

**Preppy, you are mine to do with as I please. I am going to show you what it feels like to be at the mercy of your lover. Now be a good boy for me and turn your head and open your mouth.**

 

When he was in position, mouth open wide, I took my cock in my hand and placed the head just past his lips. They closed around me, his tongue swirling and licking. I can't help the moan that escaped my chest. It felt so damn good. The wet heat of his mouth and the soft feel of his tongue caressing my cock was making my blood boil.

 

**There's right, suck my cock good preppy.**

 

I started thrusting my hips, letting my full length side in and out of good mouth. When he began sucking harder, the sensation made me twitch hard. I pumped my hips faster, his head bobbing to keep with my pace. I could feel my gut tighten, my release edging closer. Pulling out, I moved my body to straddle his thighs. Using both hands, I stroked his cock lazily up and down, wanting to hear him moan for more. 

 

I picked up the pace, tightening my grip just enough to make him lift his body off the bed. The moan that fell from his lips sounded like a kitten’s purr. Scooting down his legs I ran my tongue flat up the length of his cock that was laying heavy against his stomach. Raising it up, I dropped my head down, shutting my lips firmly around his wide girth. He arched his back up, bringing his pelvis flush to my face. I swallowed him to the back of my throat, humming around him. I let my spit fall freely until it ran down his balls and over his tight little puckered hole. Taking my long middle finger, I slid inside him, feeling his walls stretch around it. It was velvety soft and tight. I began a tortuous rhythm of sliding in to the base of my finger, twisting it along his walls, then pulling out just to the tip. He ground his ass down onto my hand, silently begging me to speed up. I obliged, each stroke coming faster than the one before. Without warning I added another finger, spreading them apart to open him wider. I kept pumping, harder and faster, only to insert a third finger as I felt the muscles relax. He was writhing under my movements, groaning loudly into the air.

 

**You want me to fuck that tight ass of yours? I know you want me to fuck you, preppy. Trust me I want to feel those walls clamp around my cock. I want you to scream, and believe me you will.**

 

I grasped my throbbing cock, then pulled my fingers out, only to replace that hole with my rock hard cock. I slammed into him, fully hilted in one swift thrust. I felt him flutter around me, clenching tight when I hit that little round ball of sensitive nerves. He felt amazing, his walls stretching still to accommodate my width and length completely. I had to move, had to have those muscles slide over and around me. Fumbling with the straps at his ankles, I let his legs free, only to grab under his knees and lift both legs up to my sides. The change in angle let me go deeper each time hitting that prostate with the tip of my cock. My thighs were slapping his ass, the slick wet sound of skin on skin filling the room as my moans mixed with his. I pushed harder and harder, deeper and deeper until I could feel him clenching around me. Tears were beginning to from in his eyes as his own cock twitched and jumped, shooting thick white ropes of cum over his stomach and up to his chest. It was beautiful seeing him come undone, but I wasn’t finished fucking that ass just yet. Lifting him a bit more, I placed my thighs under his hips making his back arch up and bring his hips down. Gripping his waist, I pulled him down onto me with a forceful tug, ramming my hips up at the same time. It was hard and fast, and I couldn’t stop. He met me thrust for thrust, his hips grinding in small circles as I felt my own release fill him up. Hot white liquid spilled into him, sliding out around my still moving cock. Soft tight walls milked every last drop from me, until the sensitivity was too much to bear.

 

**Fuck, preppy. I could fuck you like that all night. You were such a good little plaything for me. Taking all my cock in that tight ass of yours.**

 

I lowered his hips back onto the bed, then reached down for my boxers to clean him and myself up. I bent over his trembling body, delved my tongue in his mouth and kissed him.

He could definitely be my newest plaything, that is if he wanted to be.

  
  
  
  


(Leo)

 

Ravi grabbed my hand, pulling me down a long hallway toward what, I assumed, was his bedroom. But when the door swung open, I realized that this wasn’t a bedroom as such. It was a playroom. I hesitated behind him. I’m no prude, nor blushing virgin, but some of the things he had I’d never even seen, and couldn’t begin to guess the purpose of. Luckily, he doesn’t give me time to consider, but walks me to the small bed in the middle of the room, pushing me down onto it in a sitting position. My jacket comes off first, followed by my shirt, and he glances over my chest. I’m pushed backwards then, my hands pulled up over my head. I’m not surprised when I feel soft leather cuffs close over them. I pull experimentally, but there’s no give. I see him reach up and grab a black cloth from the headboard, and I sigh when the fabric covers my eyes. I jump slightly when I feel his fingers on the waistband of my jeans, unbuttoning them and dragging the zipper down. He jerks them, hard, and suddenly I’m naked in the cool air, laid out for him. My whole body shivers in anticipation, and he doesn’t disappoint, running his hands up my legs to the juncture of them and my hips. He pushes my legs apart, and I feel the same soft leather close over one ankle, then the other. I can’t help the feeling of fear that sweeps over me, and if I know anything, it’s probably that he’s enjoying this. But then, so am I, if I can just admit it to myself. The not knowing the next move lends it an exciting air. 

 

**Preppy, you are mine to do with as I please. I am going to show you what it feels like to be at the mercy of your lover. Now be a good boy and turn your head and open your mouth.**

 

I know what’s coming before I even feel his cock on my lips. I lick at him as he slides into my mouth, his length a heavy weight on my tongue. As I close my lips around him, he moans, and I swirl my tongue around him, hollowing my cheeks to suck harder. I feel his moan all the way from his chest, and it stirs something inside me. I want to be good for him, and I will be. 

 

**That’s right, suck my cock good, preppy.**

 

His hips start to rock into me, and I suck even harder, trying to get him to come. But before I can, he pulls away, leaving me feeling empty. Then the solid weight of his body settles onto my thighs, and his hands wrap loosely around my own cock. I can’t stop my high-pitched moan. He slowly moves his hands faster, his hands gripping me tighter, as I race toward my orgasm. I thrust my hips up, chasing the feeling, but then his hands are gone, and they’re being replaced by his mouth. His tongue slides up the underside of my cock, and I see stars under my blindfold. Then the whole wet heat of his mouth is engulfing me, and I thrust my hips up mindlessly. He swallows around me and I have no idea how I don’t come from that alone. He hums around me, and I feel his spit sliding down my balls and over my twitching hole. I feel his finger at my entrance, and suddenly it’s slipping inside me and it feels like too much and not enough at the same time. His digit glides in, rotates around, stroking all of me, before sliding back out. There’s no warning when he adds a second, scissoring them apart, opening me up, and I angle my hips downward, begging him silently for more, and faster. He obliges, and adds a third finger. I can’t help but writhe under him, moans falling from my lips like prayers. 

 

**You want me to fuck that tight ass of yours? I know you want me to fuck you, preppy. Trust me, I want to feel those walls clamp around my cock. I want you to scream, and trust me, you will.**

 

He pulls his fingers from me and slams his cock home. I let out a sound between a keen and a wail, his cock stretching me to the limit, the tip of it rubbing against my prostate. There’s a moment of his hands on my ankles, and then my legs are free of their restraints. He grabs behind my knees, lifting my legs up to his waist, and moves even deeper inside me. His moans join with mine in a symphony of lust, and I can’t hold back my orgasm anymore. I come, hot and hard, across my stomach. But he’s not done yet. His thighs come up under my hips, and my back arches, bringing my hips more firmly down on his cock. He grabs my waist, and slams into me. I can’t help but roll my hips into each thrust, and he comes inside me, filling me with his release. He keeps going until I can feel it leaking out of me. He only lets go, pulls out, when he’s become too sensitive to continue.

 

**Fuck, preppy. I could fuck you like that all night. You were such a good little plaything for me. Taking all my cock in that tight ass of yours.**

 

My hips slide back down to the mattress, and I feel soft cloth wiping at the come on my thighs and stomach. Then his lips are on mine, tongue sweeping through my mouth. Wildly, I think that if every time could be like this, I would agree to be his toy in a heartbeat. 

  
  
  


(Ra)

I was replete and spent all at once. It had been to long since a plaything made me that crazy with need and lust. But Preppy, I mean Leo, I really like that nickname though, so yeah Preppy, was a one night stand and I would just have to find another one that could possibly stand up to what just happened. 

 

I unhooked his restraints, his arms stretching and shaking out the soreness from being tied up. I removed the scarf from his eyes, and brushed some damp bangs from his forehead. He was very pretty, not in a feminine way, but as in he could make men and women swoon. The way his lean muscles rise and fall under his skin, skin that is soft like downy feathers, unmarked and pure, much unlike mine. Some person is going to be lucky when they land him. I shook my head to clear any thoughts that were trying to enter, and looked down at Preppy boy Leo. He was still panting, but not as hard as just a few minutes ago. He looked into my eyes, wild and filled with something akin to either questioning or bewilderment.

 

Handing him his clothes, I redressed, this time going commando because of the used boxers. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he slipped back into his clothes, his hair a tousled mess, and his skin flushed from the amazing session we just had.

 

When he turned around, looking at me with an almost shy grin I spoke before my stupid brain could stop my mouth.

 

**Preppy, can we hook up again? I mean only if you want to. As you can see, I am a bit different from most others.**

 

As I was explaining my unique personality, I waved my arms around the room, emphasizing the point. It was a fact, I like things, lets say, a bit spicier when it comes to sex. My reason why is twisted and sickening, but it’s all I know. It’s also why I keep my walls up, to protect not only myself but also others. Oh well, if he says no, then I am on the hunt again, but if he says yes, then I have a feeling I will be using my preppy plaything quite a bit.


	4. Chapter 4

(Leo) 

 

I stretched my arms out, shaking them to get rid of the stiff feeling after being shackled. I lay still as Ravi untied the blindfold, blinking as it was removed. I was still breathing a little hard, and he didn’t help regulate it any, standing there looking at me. But, since he was studying me, I decided to do the same. His face was striking in a way that was hard to pinpoint, his eyes expressive at the moment, though I figured that could change in an instant. His body is slender without being too skinny, and his skin is a golden brown in the small bits I can see around the tattoos that cover most of him. He looks...powerful. And dangerous. But right now, I’m craving that danger, even though I know I could get burned. 

 

He blinks, looks away, then bends and gathers my clothes, handing them to me silently. I slip them back on, a little more self-aware of my messed up hair and flushed skin as I do so. I can still feel his gaze on me as I flip my jacket up onto my shoulders. When I turn around, smiling a little at him, he takes me by surprise. 

 

**Preppy, can we hook up again? I mean only if you want to. As you can see, I am a bit different from most others.**

 

He spreads his arms wide, encompassing the entire room. I glance around at it, now more curious than afraid, though I put more bravado into my reply than I actually feel. 

 

**I wouldn’t mind. As a matter of fact, I’m actually kind of curious about...All of this. I think I’d be willing to learn...If you want to teach me.**

  
  


(Ra)

 

My head kind of snaps up in surprise. He’s actually… curious about my little idiosyncrasy and is willing to learn? He is a little messed up like me, if he is. It usually takes forced submission to get a partner to learn to like, or accept, this kind of lifestyle. But hey, if he’s willing to learn, I am more than willing to teach. I don’t think though, that he really knows just what he’s getting in to, and I can afford having him fall for me in some weirdly obsessive way like some of my submissives have. That was too much energy wasted to get rid of them and have them leave me alone. 

 

Anywho…

 

When we are both dressed, we head back out through my tattoo studio, grabbing my jacket from the chair in my office. Leo, or Preppy, I haven’t really decided what I want to call him yet. Anyway, Preppy Leo is looking around at the pictures of the ink work I have done over the past few years, some of them even on my own body. I ask him if he would ever consider getting one and if so, I would be happy to give him his first. Hmm, I was probably his first just back then too. A smile curls up my lips as I snicker under my breath.

 

We climb in my car, and I head to his apartment with his directions. When he goes to get out, I grab his hand, placing my business card in it. 

 

**Here’s my work and personal numbers. If you're serious, shoot me a text and that way I’ll have your number. I’ll let you know when your second lesson is.**

 

He sort of chuckles at my statement, but closes his hand around the card. He waves as I drive off. Thinking about our fling, I am instantly hard again. I jerk myself off the entire way home, the image of him spread out and my cock sliding in and out of him keeping me erect the entire time.

 

(Leo)

 

Ravi seems surprised by the fact that I’m willing to learn about the things that turn him on, if his expression is anything to go by. It’s quickly hidden of course-I have a feeling that he doesn’t often open up to people- but it makes me smiled inwardly. What else could I learn from him besides sex? He seems to be an enigma, and I love trying to crack puzzles. 

 

As we head back through his home, I have the chance to look at some of the framed artwork on the walls of his studio. All sport a small ‘R’ and heart at the bottom, and I’m guessing it’s his signature. If so, then he’s a masterful artist- everything is drawn with meticulous attention to detail, and some look so lifelike that I almost expect them to move. He offers to give me a tattoo, and I shake my head, not in rejection, but a dismissal until a future date, telling him that once I get a tattoo, it has to be something special, with meaning. 

 

I guide Ravi to my apartment, and when I open the door to climb out, he grabs my hand, giving me a small square of paper. 

 

**Here’s my work and personal numbers. If you’re serious, shoot me a text and that way I’ll have your number. I’ll let you know when your second lesson is.**

 

I’ve barely nodded and shut the car door when he peels out of the parking lot, and I turn to head inside. Then I remember that my phone is out of commission, probably still laying in pieces on my bedroom floor. I groan as I head up to the apartment, already planning to be up early the next morning, to spend money I didn’t have on a phone I couldn’t afford, all because Ravi, damn him, has gotten under my skin. 

 

By the time I reach the apartment door, my feet are dragging and a bone-deep tiredness has set in- I have no idea what time it is, but it must be late. I try to be quiet as I come in the door and slip off my shoes, walking down the short hallway, past the toilet and bathroom, and into the living room, where I come face to face with Hakyeon, who’s sitting on the couch, arms folded like a cross mother who’s just caught her son sneaking in. 

 

**It’s half past three. Want to explain where you’ve been?**

 

I am livid. When Chae, Baek and I left the club, it was barely past midnight. All we needed was about an hour tops, and Leo knows that. So, why he’s coming in at three in the damn morning has me worried about him. 

 

**I have been worried sick about you! You don’t have a phone and as far as I know, you could have been kidnapped and murdered, or worse… dead!**

 

I am probably ranting at this point, but seriously I was worried. Leo and I know each others routines like our own face. When I have a little fun, hour’s the limit before one of us shows up, just in case something bad might end up happening. That little shit ruined my night because I didn’t hear the door open. 

 

When I am calm enough, I happen to see that shit eating grin on his face that he’s trying to hide. But I see it just the same. He hooked up! Awesome! Wait, not awesome! Who did he hook up with, where did he go, was he safe? Was it some crazy psycho that beat him and licked him like they were a puppy? All the wildest and strangest images flash in my brain and I just stare at Leo. Why is he smiling like that?He had better spill his guts or he is cooking and cleaning this place for the next four months.

 

**So, young man. Just who, what, when , when , and why are you grinning like the cat that swallowed a canary? I want all the gory details. Now sit and spill!**

 

I pull him down next to me. I run and grab us some water, then sit and prepare for his story.

  
  


(Leo)

 

**I have been worried sick about you! You don’t have a phone and as far as I know, you could have been kidnapped and murdered, or worse… dead!**

 

I try not to smile, but Hakyeon is just so damn cute when he’s angry that I can’t help myself. I know that we have an hour time limit between the time one of us goes home, if we’re not alone, and the time the other comes strolling in the door. It’s an unspoken rule, but surely he’ll cut me some slack this time? I relax my stance as he keeps ranting. Finally, he stops for a breath, opens his mouth to start again, and suddenly notices the grin on my face. Realization dawns slowly, and all of a sudden he’s giggling like mad. When he manages to calm down a bit, he demands answers. 

 

**So, young man. Just who, what, when, where, and why are you grinning like the cat that swallowed a canary? I want all the gory details. Now sit and spill!**

 

He pulls me down onto the couch, then dashes to the kitchen for a couple of glasses of water. When he gets back, he handed one to me and flops down next to me, an eager expression on his face. Shaking my head, I start to explain. 

  
  


(N)

 

After hearing Leo’s story, I sat there with my jaw practically in my lap. I have seen 

Ravi’s talented inkwork on several of our friends. From what the have told me, he is very quiet, almost an enigma to them. I just hope he isn’t bad news for Leo, especially since Leo’s just gotten out of a long term relationship. But, at least, for right now, my little Leo kitten is happy and ready to sleep. 

 

I head back to my room, curling up with Chae and Baek, while listening to Leo get ready for bed. Sweet dreams everyone.


	5. Chapter 5

(Ra)

 

Tonight has left me exhausted. I climb out of my car, and head inside. First stop, the bathroom, to clean myself off from the ride home. I hop in the shower, the hot water making me more drowsy and relaxed. I definitely had an interesting evening after such a crazy day. I don’t usually ask a one night stand to be something more, but damn, he was worth it. Sex with him was, well, refreshing. He was compliant, and willing, and that is a turn on in itself. Drying off, I head to my bedroom, the one place I have to myself. No one has ever slept with me in here. It’s my escape, my sanctuary from the outside world. As I climb into bed, I think back on tonight and why I chose Leo. I had to figure that one out quickly.

 

The nightmares came, never a good sign, and I woke with a scream. Why can’t he leave me alone, even in his death. That bastard is the reason I am the way I am now, ten years later, still living in the hell he created for me. If that was how someone showed love, then I was never going to want a part of it. 

 

Rising out of bed, I head to the kitchen, groggily ready to start my day. I start my coffee, the head to the studio to prepare for opening. At least I had enough clients today to occupy my mind. But Preppy Leo was still stuck in there, and I was hoping that he would call.

  
  


(Leo)

 

I'm more relieved than I expected when Hakyeon doesn't say anything negative about my behavior tonight. Even more importantly, I don't get the vibe that he's anything less than happy for me. I know he hated my ex-and obviously with good reason, after the way he treated me earlier- and I value his opinion above all others. He drains the water from his glass and sets it on the coffee table. Then, patting my shoulder, he heads back to his room. Nothing more needs to be said. I grin, rising to my feet and stretching tiredly. My body aches, but in a good way. I head for my room, where I shed my clothes. I crawl naked, too tired to bother with pyjamas, into bed, asleep almost before my head touches the pillow. 

 

The next morning I wake up late. Too much alcohol and good sex tend to do that to me-even though it's been a while since I had either. I stretch, then remember that Ravi gave me his number. And of course, that reminds me that I have to go get a new phone. Groaning, I roll over to look at the clock on my bedside table. 

 

11:23. 

 

Well,  _ shit.  _ I'm lucky I don't have class today or I'd be in serious trouble. As it is, I wonder if maybe Ravi had been expecting a text from me first thing this morning. If so, he's probably pissed. I'll bet anything that he's not used to having to wait on people. 

 

Sighing, I climb from my bed, grabbing a pair of pyjama pants and slip into them. Then I gather an outfit for the day-jeans, of course, and a faded band t-shirt. I crack my door just a little, and seeing the common area empty, I head for the shower. Once I finish that, I leave a note for Hakyeon on the dry erase board by the front door. I slip my shoes on, grab my key, and lock the door on my way out. 

 

The walk to the store is actually nice. I feel relaxed and limber, and the day is bright and sunny but not too hot. It's a great feeling, made even better by the fact that a new phone doesn't cost me as much as I was afraid it would. I even change my number as a final “fuck you” to my ex, and I'm practically walking on cloud nine by the time I leave the store. 

 

When I get back to the apartment, it's still quiet, which means either Hakyeon is still sleeping, or the three of them got up and left while I was gone. I shrug and flop down on the couch, messing with my phone and learning the ins and outs of how it works. Then I remember Ravi. I hesitate, wondering if I should text him. My next thought is how stupid that thought is. Of course I'm going to text him. I get up from the couch and go to my room, where I grab the card with his number on it from the back pocket of the jeans I wore last night. Before I can think it over, I send him a short text. 

 

**Hey Ravi, it's Leo.**

 

I don't add anything to it, and hit send before I can second guess what it says. Then, to distract myself, I start programming numbers into my new phone, on edge and wondering how long it'll be until he responds. 

 

(Ra)

 

I was just about to begin tattooing my second client when my phone pinged, alerting me that  had a message. Picking it up off my desk, I look at the unknown number. Who could be texting me? I hit the message icon, pulling up a single lined message.

 

**Hey Ravi, it's Leo.**

 

So, he did decide to text me after all. This could end up being a great day after all! I type a reply quickly before setting up my supplies. This client is getting a back piece so I will be busy for the next three hours.

 

**Hey back at you. I am with clients today. Will call u after I’m done. Wanna get dinner later?**

 

Hitting send, I suddenly feel like an idiot. Why would I ask him to dinner? Does it make me sound desperate? Well, I am desperate to have him again, but that’s all. I hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea. I will have to clarify things later, make sure he knows that this isn’t a relationship type of thing, just more of a fuck buddy thing.

 

I get my client ready, pushing any thought of Leo from my mind so I can concentrate. It takes a bit longer than I thought, having to stop a few times to rest my hand, eat a quick snack, and have a quicker drink. Thankfully I was able to forget about Leo during the entire time. My last three clients took up the next three and a half hours. I worked until my hands and brain were numb, then took a picture of each finished job. I love doing this, and I love helping people express themselves. Plus the stories I hear while they lie under my needle gun are very interesting. I could probably have some good blackmail material, if I ever needed it.

 

After closing the studio down for the evening, I check my messages, hoping to see a reply from Leo. I had saved his number earlier under the name Preppy, so I would know exactly when he texted or called me. If he did agree to dinner, I would have to get ready soon.

 

(Leo)

 

I don't have to wait as long as I thought for his reply. I'd imagined waiting all day, agonizing over it and second guessing if I would have said more in my text. So it's extremely reassuring when my phone dings. I snatch it up and open the text. 

 

**Hey back at you. I am with clients today. Will call u after I’m done. Wanna get dinner later?**

 

I'm glad he answered even though he's busy. It makes me feel important. The expectation of a call leaves me feeling giddy, but the offer of dinner throws me a bit. I'm not labelling whatever this is we have, and it's entirely too early for labels at any rate, but he doesn't strike me as the type to invite his-what did he call me? Plaything?- out to dinner. Still, there’s no way I'm looking this gift horse in the mouth. Smiling a little, I type a reply. 

 

**I'm looking forward to your call. And dinner sounds nice. Just let me know the info. Talk to you later.**

 

I hit send, pleased with how the text sounds-just the right amount of maturity, I think, and certainly it gives away none of the insane feelings I'm experiencing. 

 

Now I just have to find something to occupy myself with until I hear from him again.

  
  


(Ra)

**I'm looking forward to your call. And dinner sounds nice. Just let me know the info. Talk to you later.**

  
  


Alrighty then, he did reply, and my throat tightens a bit when I see his agreement to dinner. Please let him be mature enough to not put a label on this. Taking a deep breath, I head for the shower, then get dressed. I choose my black wrap shirt with my dark red jacket, and pair it with some of my black skinny jeans. I choose my worn black combat boots to finish the ensemble. I look through my selection of glasses and choose the red and black rimmed frames. Yes I do like to coordinate everything, just one of my quirks. I send back a reply, telling him to clean up nicely and where to meet me.

 

**Going to Jyoti, dress nice, i’m in red and black, see you in an hour, don’t be late.**

 

I was wondering just how well he could follow orders, so this was a good first test. Of course, I was going to allow one reprieve if he was late, but there would be a punishment. And I was looking forward to a punishment if I had to be honest with myself.

 

Opting for my Mercedes g63, dark grey with blackout windows, I hop in and head out. I was tired but the thought of a nice meal and getting a chance to learn about my potential plaything would be nice. It would also give me an opportunity to explain just what I was looking for, in hopes of detering any misconceptions.

 

(Leo)

My cell pings and I practically leap across the room for it. 

 

**Going to Jyoti, dress nice, I’m in red and black, see you in an hour, don’t be late.**

 

Well, shit. An hour doesn't give me much time. Luckily for me, I have the perfect outfit in my closet. Hakyeon has insisted I buy it months ago during one of our infrequent shopping trips. It's simple, just a navy pair of slacks with white pinstripes, and a white button-up shirt. Paired with a black shoes, I look much more mature. I'm wondering if Ravi will like it, and I have to pinch myself with how much I care, how much I  _ want _ to look good for him. 

 

Swiping up my phone, I see that I only have about twenty minutes to make it to the restaurant. I bite my lip. It's cutting it close, with having to catch the bus, but if I run, I might make it. 

 

And I would have, if the bus hadn't gotten stopped in traffic. I agonize over it for just a split second, then bail. The restaurant is only a couple of blocks away, and I eat up the distance, desperately worried that he'll be mad, or worse, he'll have left. I slow as I near, taking deep breaths to slow my heartbeat. Luckily for me I have years of training in running, so it doesn't take me long to relax. I reach for the door and step into the restaurant, steeling myself to face Ravi. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

Two minutes and thirty-seven seconds late. When I saw him outside the window, I could tell the poor thing had been running to make it on time. I guess I can grant reprieve just this once, and maybe give a bit of punishment next time we hook up. 

He enters the restaurant a few moments later, breathing back to normal and his hair back in place. He looks good when he dresses up nice. My mind’s eye envisions stripping him of those clothes and doing all kinds of naughty things to him. I shake my head and rub my temples to clear those thoughts away. This dinner is to get acquainted and see if this is going to work, nothing more and nothing less. Unless… No Ravi, not tonight.

 

Leo finds me and joins me at the table. I simply nod as he sits down, trying to give him a stern look. We are seated to the back, a bit of seclusion away from the main dining area. This way no one can hear what we say, and if things go south there is an exit close by. He is still flushed from running, and I decide that the coloring of his cheeks looks good on him, reminds me of last night. Damn it Ravi, you have got to stop thinking those things for just a while. 

 

**You’re late, Preppy. You won’t get a second chance if this continues. So, let’s eat and talk. I know you have questions and I’m ready to answer.**

 

(Leo)

 

I feel the weight of that disapproving gaze on me the second I step inside. It’s as if he reaches out and touches me each time he looks at me, and it’s not hard for me to pinpoint it. He’s seated in the back, and I go to sit across from him, head ducked contritely. When I slip into my chair, his voice comes across, carefully moderated but laced with disappointment. 

 

**You’re late, Preppy. You won’t get a second chance if this continues. So, let’s eat and talk. I know you have questions and I’m ready to answer.**

 

Part of me wants to trip all over myself to explain why I’m late, let him know that it wasn’t my fault, but I’m not sure if he’s interested. If he were, surely he would have asked. Nodding at his words, I think carefully about what I want to say. 

 

(Ra)

He looks flustered, and I have to smile internally.  Our server comes over, taking our drink order. I go ahead and order our meals, Leo looking at me with surprise and resignation. I am in control here, and I am putting that out there for him to see.

 

(Leo)

 

Our server comes while I’m still mulling over my questions, and before I can open my mouth to say anything, Ravi orders both our drinks and our meals. I’m a little surprised, and let him know with a look, but he just looks blankly at me. Clearly one of the things I’d have to learn is that he’s in charge, and I have no say. It’s not a deal-breaker, but definitely something I’ll have to get used to, if I jump into this. I’m not used to taking orders from anyone. Once the server disappears to get our drinks, I ask my first question.

 

(Leo)

 

**So, what exactly would this...entail?**

 

I spread my arms, indicating everything. 

 

(Ra)

Copying his movements, I sit back and decide flat honesty is the best policy.

 

**This would entail you learning that I like being in control, of pretty much everything. I have my reasons, so please don’t question them. I like things a certain way, such as; being on time when I ask for you to join me, doing what I say within reason that you won’t be harmed, your willingness to cooperate without question.**

 

I give him a second to process what I had just told him. Waiting patiently for his next question.

 

(Leo)

I take a minute to process what he’s told me. I know that I’ve already failed one of those things he’s mentioned, but I’ve got a feeling he didn’t say it simply for that reason. As for the rest of it, can I honestly say that I can try, and, possibly more importantly, I  _ want  _ to try. But, while we’re on the subject of being completely honest, because I have the feeling that this would require complete disclosure, I want to explain why I was late. I don’t know if it’ll make a difference, but I still feel the need. 

 

**Well, I understand, but while we’re being honest, can I explain why I was late? Or does it even really matter? I guess it is important I explain because that actually brings up another question.**

 

(Ra)

  
  


I am giving a reprieve, so I agree to his explanation. The thing is that I don’t normally like excuses, and I’ll let him know that too.

 

**Sure, go ahead. But, I do not like excuses. Commitment to something means you will try your best to do it as I say, or if there might even be a problem, let me know before you can’t keep it.**

 

(Leo)

I purse my lips and nod. 

 

**Actually, you just answered my second question. I would have been on time, only the bus got caught in traffic, which is why I decided to run instead. I guess it should have occured to me to text you and let you know. It’s just that this is all new to me, and some things I might need a bit of time to get used to. But I am willing to try! So, anyway, um, would you be in...control...of everything? Like, from the time I wake up until I go to sleep, what I eat and wear, all of that?**

 

This is getting into deeper waters for me, and the stuff I’m more curious about. 

 

(Ra)

 

I can see he understands where he needs to work on things, so that makes things easier. Training someone takes time and effort, and the easier they are to train the more time we get to enjoy the fulfilling part of the agreement.

 

**Okay, at least you know where you made a mistake, and owned up to it. As far as how much control I have? When you are with me yes, I control everything, but when you are on your free time, then you can do pretty much as you please. But here’s a forewarning. When you are mine, you represent me, so your attire, how you present yourself should reflect the things I like. I have eyes practically everywhere, and I can possibly find out if you are letting yourself go.**

 

There is more to that, but I will add my parts in when and if he decided that this is truly what he wants. It is a lifestyle change commitment, and it can be difficult, even when there is an eagerness in the beginning.

 

(Leo)

I nod, mulling over what he’s said. The fact that he could be watching, even when he’s miles away from me, is both terrifying and thrilling, and I would be hard pressed to say which emotion is stronger. What would it be like to give that much of myself over to him? I close my eyes for a second, imagining it. It sends a shock through my system, and yet it’s soothing to know that I would still have some time for myself, even if I would have to put more consideration into what I did during that time simply because of him. I think I could do it, and the thing is, the more I learn, the more I feel as if I  _ want  _ to. 

 

Opening my eyes, I look into his, a slight smile curving my lips as I nod. 

 

**Ok. So, um, I guess...What are some of the hard rules you have?**

  
  


(Ra)

Ah, straight to the point! He is going to be a bit of a challenge, since he will probably like to question everything out of curiosity. So we will be laying out the ground rules, which I will later put into an agreement contract. We’ll see how he likes signing that.

 

**These things will be set out in an agreement contract, but it’s good you want to know them now. I will be learning yours too, and some things may, only may, be negotiable.**

**Hard limit number one, don’t ask me questions about why I am like this. That is the main limit that I do not like crossing. Number two, be available, plain and simple. You’re mine, act as such. Number three,I will not tolerate disrespect, either to my face or to someone else. I won’t do it to you so don’t do it to me. Number four, I do not share, no matter who it may be. I do not ‘pass you around’ as that is not respecting you. And lastly,you will keep yourself healthy and well, have regular check-ups and if you get sick you will let me know and I will get you seen. Those are my main ones, break any of those, and this agreement is done.**

 

I have my hard limits for a reason, I had be disrespected for far too long when I was younger. I also do not prefer to rehash my past, I do it enough in my dreams. When I am with someone, I am only with that person, believe it or not, I do want monogamy. I want it for many reasons, but mainly it’s because I want to enjoy my plaything all by myself. Lastly, I maintain my health. I workout, eat right, look nice, because I want to be proud of myself, and keeping me and my partner healthy ensures that we can enjoy more time together instead of worrying over something being wrong or that could be wrong. I don’t like worrying, at all, ruins the mood for me.

 

Leo seems to be taking this all in in stride, but I hope he understands that hard limits are just that, set in stone, do not cross limits. I can’t wait to see what his are, if he has any at all. This being new to him, he probably hasn’t even thought about any kind of limits, hard or soft. This is going to be a long dinner, one that may carry over to my place, but tonight is the one night that I won’t get to play, because tonight is only for setting our ground rules. No matter how badly I want to take him and claim him as mine.

 

(Leo)

I listen carefully, taking in what he’s saying. I know it can’t be overstated how important this is. I can deduce what hard limits are, and I know these are the most important rules of all. I can’t help but feel some curiosity about his past, but it’s fleeting and not something I’d want to bring up anyway. I get the feeling that Ravi would inflict serious bodily harm to anyone who were to attempt to pry. The availability probably wouldn’t be an issue, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my school work. I’m most concerned about that, because it does take up so much of my time, and yet if I were smarter about managing my time, I’m sure I could make it work. The disrespect is not something I’d have trouble with, I’m pretty certain. I was raised to have respect for everyone, regardless, and I think it’s part of the reason I’m so quiet. It’s hard to insult someone when you hardly ever speak. And of course, number four. I couldn’t imagine being shared, or sharing myself, with anyone else once I’d pledged myself to one person. Even in a “relationship” like the one Ravi’s proposing, it would be cheating, plain and simple. 

 

When I finish processing everything he’s told me, I nod slowly. 

 

**Ok.**

 

It takes me a second to order my thoughts, because I’m thinking so thoroughly over everything. Then it occurs to me, he said these were “hard” limits, rules that were not to be broken. Which means, there might be “soft” limits, right? There’s only one way to find out. 

 

**So, are there any soft limits?**

 

(Ra)

 

Just as I was about to answer, our food came. I told him to go ahead and eat, then we would continue our discussion after dinner. The meals were delicious, and I could tell I made a good choice for Leo. Lobster tail and shrimp scampi with grilled zucchini, asparagus and  squash. He practically inhaled his food .   Another lesson to be learned, eat with dignity. Oh well. So soft limits, things I may be willing to do. I had been through a lot of 

questionable experiences, so there weren’t many limits.

 

**Letting myself be tied up, some ways are a definite no, but others are a maybe, if I am comfortable with my partner. I also am not for choking, mild breath play yes, but actually risking harming or getting harmed is a serious thing. We would both have to be in agreement and have a safe word. One that is also kind of hard and soft limit is role reversal, I do not like giving control over to some else. I have to really trust someone, and I mean really trust them.**

 

Once I had covered that topic, the check had come and was paid. I wanted to continue our discussion, seeing he was eager to learn. 

 

**You want to take your car and meet me at my place? We can finish this talk there.**

 

(Leo)

Ravi was about to answer my question about soft limits when our food arrived. My eyes widened at the seafood placed before me. I hadn’t had a real meal this good in months-money was pretty tight for a poor college kid. I practically inhaled it-not the best display of manners, but I couldn’t help myself. After weeks of cheap ramen, this tasted like heaven. But I did slow down when Ravi started to speak. 

 

**Letting myself be tied up, some ways are a definite no, but others are a maybe, if I am comfortable with my partner. I also am not for choking, mild breath play yes, but actually risking harming or getting harmed is a serious thing. We would both have to be in agreement and have a safe word. One that is also kind of hard and soft limit is role reversal, I do not like giving control over to some else. I have to really trust someone, and I mean really trust them.**

 

Tying him up...I suddenly got a mental picture of him spread out on the bed where he’d had me strapped down, and I felt a burst of confusion. It simply didn’t compute that he’d ever be in that position, not with his dominant personality. Choking was a thought that gave me chills-I wasn’t sure I’d even be ok with it with practice. And the last, of course, matched my idea of him being tied up for me-it simply couldn’t be. There was no way I could make myself comfortable with all the power in that situation, so I was glad when he said he’d really have to trust the person, because right now we were nowhere near that level of trust. 

 

When he finished speaking, the waiter came by, dropping off our check. He paid quickly, and then seemed to make some sort of silent decision. 

 

**You want to take your car and meet me at my place? We can finish this talk there.**

 

Blood rushed to my cheeks and I ducked my head, rubbing at the back of my neck nervously. I wasn’t sure how he’d take what I was about to tell him, so it was best to just blurt it out. 

 

**I don’t...actually...have a car.**


	6. Chapter 6

(Ra)

 

**You don’t have a car? Oh, you did mention taking the bus here. Well, I‘ll drive and we’ll get you home later.**

 

We got up from our seats and made our way through the restaurant. It was dark, but the weather was still nice and warm. We walked the short distance to my car, the silence comfortable yet palpable. I was wondering what was really going through that mind of his. He is a bit quiet, something I hoped changed when we were having sex. I would like knowing that he was enjoying himself as much as I was. We got into my car, heading for my place, when a thought came to mind, He’s still in school. I would have to take that into consideration when finding time to get together. I found myself deep in thought, and I was sure the silence was making Leo uncomfortable. 

 

Thankfully the drive was short, and we made it back before it was too uncomfortable. Once we were inside, I automatically poured us each a drink, just in case he needed to calm any nerves he had about the questions I might have. Handing his over to him, I sat down across from him, sitting back in my chair. Pulling my glasses back into my hair, I thought about what he honestly would expect from me.

 

**Any more questions for me? If not, then may I ask you a few?**

 

(Leo)

 

I let out a sigh of relief when he seemed to dismiss my lack of transportation, instead offering to give me a ride to his place, then back to mine later. I followed him out of the restaurant and across the parking lot to where he’d parked. As he drove, I could tell he was deep in thought, and I made it a point not to bother him, even though it felt a bit like I was being ignored. Thankfully, I didn’t have long to feel that way, since he didn’t live far from where we’d had dinner. I slid from the car and followed him inside his place, sinking into a seat and taking the drink he offered me. I wondered fleetingly if I would be given a drink every time I came in here. Not that I was complaining, of course, it was just a random thought I had. He sat down opposite me, pushing his glasses up on his head as he had done last time, before taking a sip of his own drink. 

 

**Any more questions for me? If not, may I ask you a few?**

 

I took a bigger sip of my drink, fighting not to cough as I felt the alcohol go to work on me. They didn’t call it liquid courage for nothing, and it seemed to loosen my tongue. I shook my head as I answered. 

 

**I can’t think of another question right now. So, you go ahead and ask me.**

  
  


(Ra)

So seeing as I had satisfied his curiosity, it was my turn. If he was going to agree to this, I needed him to openly and rawly honest with me. He would need, no I would command, that he tells me every little thing he would and wouldn’t do. I, for one, had been living this lifestyle since I was eighteen, so I was experienced, knowledgeable, and very raw and open. Leo, on the other hand was treading new territory with dangerous waters. This is life changing for him in many ways, and I was the one that was going to change it. We had to communicate, whether the other person liked what was being said or not. I’m not an asshole, I’m not a master or slave driver. I actually do take care of and care about my partners, and even after we’ve parted ways I still check up on them at times.

 

**Okay Preppy. Why? Why are you so eager and willing to do something like this, something new and possibly altering?**

 

(Leo)

**Okay Preppy. Why? Why are you so eager and willing to do something like this, something new and possibly altering?**

 

If I’m sincere, I can say that I’m not one hundred percent sure. I’d never seriously considered a relationship like this before-honestly, I only know vague things about the lifestyle. But something about Ravi has drawn me like a moth to a flame, and I  _ want _ \- want what he’s offering, want to see if I can be good for him, like I desperately want to be- it comes down to want and some unidentified need. Swallowing, not sure how he’ll take my answer, I nevertheless raise my eyes to his.

 

**I don’t know. I can’t explain it. Part of me is intrigued. But part of me wants this, has this driving need to, I don’t know, be good for you, to please you. I’ve never even thought about something like this before, but I’ve been drawn to you since the moment we met. It’s nuts, but I can’t get you out of my head. Do I sound crazy?**

 

I inhale and swallow hard. Will my answer be enough?

  
  


(Ra)

 

I take caution when I hear him say that he’s been drawn to me .  Is the sex that he keeps thinking of or something deeper. Now’s the time to set the one thing straight that runs some potential people off.

 

**Preppy, You don’t sound crazy, hell I probably sound more crazy to you right now. There’s one thing that I have to ask you, and you either answer me honestly or if I find out your lying, it’s not going to be roses and sunshine for either of us. Can you promise me, that no matter how long we may be together in this, that you will not develop feelings for me? What  mean to say is, I don’t do the love thing. Can’t do it. I can’t and won’t allow feelings to get involved. I have my reasons, remember hard limit one, and don’t ask the whys and what ifs. You cannot be doing this because you are falling in love with me, or think you’re falling in love with me. It has to be because you genuinely want to try something new, see if this kind of thing is for you, maybe something you want explore and try for yourself one day.**

 

This could make it or break it. Love is a thing I don’t feel, or should I say, haven’t been capable of feeling since I was fourteen. This is up to him now.

 

(Leo)

Ravi blindsides me with the possibility of me falling in love with him. I can see how it might be an issue in building a relationship like this, but I need to shut those ideas down-now. I shake my head, the words flowing out of me in a river, a whole hell of a lot stronger than anything I’ve said up to this point, but only because I’m eager for him to understand.

 

**Love? Jesus, Ravi, no offence, but falling in love with you would be like shooting myself in the head-not good for me, you know? And, to be completely honest, I’m not sure I’m capable of loving anyone-I’ve never felt it in my life. I want to explore this because I’m curious, not because I have some deep feelings for you. I don’t want to sound selfish, but I do want this for me. And, well, you just happen to be the only person I know that can show me what it’s like. I mean, I do want to please you and be good for you, but it’s not complicated with that particular emotion.**

 

I stop and take a deep breath, secretly stunned with what I’ve just said. I’m never, never that forceful, but I was so eager to clarify that it gave me the strength to say all of that. I blink slowly, watching his face. Did I just totally mess up?

  
  


(Ra)

Well then, at least he got that point clear at the start! Hopefully I can trust him, and that he isn’t just saying it to convince not only me but himself. Going to have to give a little trust to what he’s saying, got nothing else to go off of. So, now that I have that off my chest, I can continue with the formalities.

 

**You know my hard limits, what about yours? Remember these are definite no-gos, not happening, agreement ending things.**

 

(Leo)

 

Hard limits, definite no-gos. I’m sure there are some so far out there that I can’t even think of them, but I do know a couple I don’t want to do that are easy enough to name. 

 

**First, I’m not calling you oppa.**

 

It’s a silly first thing to say, but something about calling my partner that just makes my skin quiver, and not in a good way. 

 

**Um, no playing with bodily fluids. I don’t want blood on me, or semen, at least not on the outside of me.**

 

My cheeks flame at that, but the thought of come anywhere but inside me isn’t a feeling I like. I pause, trying to think of anything else, but I come up blank. 

 

**I think that’s it. Or, at least that’s all I can think of right now.**

  
  


(Ra)

 

**Oh God no, there will be no Oppa calling! Now as far as bodily fluids, blood is not happening, I agree with that. But now there may be a bit of a problem, because I like marking my partner sometimes on their back with my semen. But, I will try my best not to do that to you. Now, as you decide on things after you try them and they are an instant hard limit, let me know so it can be put in writing.**

**So, what about your soft limits? The ‘maybes’, the ‘might try if we discuss it first and I am comfortable and willing to try’, limits?**

 

Even though there is one hard limit he won’t do that I like doing, this might actually work out so far. But limit lines can vary, What is hard right now may become soft as time and trust goes on, where a soft may go hard if the experience is not a good one. Trust me on that, it can go very hard limit very fast.

  
  


(Leo)

Soft limits. I take a second to think. 

 

**I guess spanking might be ok, but only if we discuss it before hand. I don’t want it to be a surprise or anything. Ah, and breath play as well. You already know that I don’t mind being tied up or being blindfolded. I don’t think there’s anything else...Oh, ah, maybe...A little humiliation? I’m not sure but I’d like to try it. But those are the only things I can think of, off the top of my head.**

  
  


(Ra)

 

Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. I like spanking, when it’s in the middle of it, and breath play, that is a major turn on when I am in a serious mood.

 

**You are willing to let me call you dirty little names? Are you talking only during sex, or even outside of the act? That’s a fine line to be crossed. I’ll tell you what, I’ll start with it just between us, but I won’t be able to help it if I whisper something in your ear while we’re out and I am suddenly in the mood. Deal?**

  
  


**One more thing. What do you expect from me? Believe it or not, but your comfort is one of my priorities. I want you to feel that you can come to me with anything, and expect me to listen, even if I don’t agree. This is a mutual thing, and there are things that you can ask to be expected from me.**

 

Unlike my personal hell, I swore that I would have some kind of compassion to those I am with. They are choosing to be something to me, I can at least show them a respect they deserve for their willingness to comply with my demands.

 

(Leo)

**You are willing to let me call you dirty little names? Are you talking only during sex, or even outside of the act? That’s a fine line to be crossed. I’ll tell you what, I’ll start with it just between us, but I won’t be able to help it if I whisper something in your ear while we’re out and I am suddenly in the mood. Deal?**

 

Oh, my god. Not for the first time in my life do I silently curse my uncontrollable habit to blush when something is slightly embarrassing or a turn on. Added to that is the fact that imagining Ravi whispering naughty things into my ear in public has blood rushing south as a certain part of my anatomy takes interest. But he’s asked me a question. I nod, agreeing to the idea of him talking dirty to me outside of the bedroom. 

 

**One more thing. What do you expect from me? Believe it or not, but your comfort is one of my priorities. I want you to feel that you can come to me with anything, and expect me to listen, even if I don’t agree. This is a mutual thing, and there are things that you can ask to be expected from me.**

 

Here is where I need to lay out some important information. I need him to understand that I expect some personal time during the week when communication is at a minimum, without either needing to worry about it. 

 

**Well, I’m in school, but you already know that. I’ll get you a schedule of my class times, if you want, but during those times it would be difficult for me to talk. Also, I cram study two nights a week. It seems like a lot, and it is, but I think with some planning we could make it work. But I just need to make sure you’re aware of how some of my time has to be spent. I don’t have any expectations of you, not really. I mean, I suppose sex will be on the agenda, but I’m not going to try and set a schedule for anything we do. That I’ll leave all up to you.**

 

**Oh, and one more thing. I have a roommate, so my place is probably out for anything. Not that I expected any kind of play at my place, but just to let you know.**

  
  


(Ra)

I have to figure out exactly what he’s explaining to me. He has school, with two nights of cram studying. He is not much for using the phone unless he has to, so no five million texts in one hour, got it. He said I can set the sex agenda, but I have to know his schedule and cram study nights, and… Hold up! I open my mouth, insert foot, and speak before my brain can second guess.

 

**Fuck it! You can just stay here as often as you like, I have a spare room you can use. You can have two nights a week during school for you time, no me involved, to do whatever you want. I am giving you the keys to my Audi, you can drive instead of the bus or train. When school is out I get more nights to have my way with you, when school is in, I want to have sex at least twice a week, we can choose the days together. You can have the room to stay in, I will stay in mine, unless of course we go way into the night, then you can stay in my room. Your room will be yours, private as you want it.**

 

I couldn’t believe what I was just spouting out of my mouth! Did I really just offer him one of my cars and my spare bedroom. Jeez, I must really want to fuck him bad if I just offered all of that!

 

**So is it a deal?**

 

What in the hell am I doing?

  
  


(Leo)

My jaw practically hits the floor when he offers me his spare bedroom and the keys to his car. Is he seriously offering all that just so that our sex life can be more active? Well, I’m going to take him up on it. A break from my apartment, the ability to come and go without worrying about Hakyeon being there with his boyfriend, girlfriend, or both, and the complete solitary silence to study in peace. 

 

And sex at least twice a week. 

 

Even without that last part, it sounds like heaven, and so I smile and nod. 

 

**It sounds like a fair exchange. When do you propose we start?**


	7. Chapter 7

(Ra)

Man, I guess I just set something into motion that is far from what I usually do. But then again, it gives me more access to him, I can keep an eye on him, and he does realize that I will have more control over him, doesn’t he? Does he remember that? With being around me, i have complete say so in what he does, what he wears, hmmm. That may pose a bit of negotiation. But cover that before he gets hog wild over the idea.

 

**You do realize that being here, I have a lot more say so in what you do. Like a lot. You good with that? And we can start tomorrow. Give you time to pack up your things, let your roommate know what’s going on, and I’ll cover two months rent until he finds someone.**

 

Dammit mouth, shut up before you make me go broke and anything else that’s going to mess with my comfortable little world!

 

(Leo)

 

**You do realize that being here, I have a lot more say so in what you do. Like a lot. You good with that? And we can start tomorrow. Give you time to pack up your things, let your roommate know what’s going on, and I’ll cover two months rent until he finds someone.**

 

It suddenly sinks in, what I’m doing. Ravi is right, he’s not offering all of this out of the goodness of his heart, and in return, I’ll be giving myself up to him. And God that shouldn’t affect me that much, but just thinking about it is making me antsy. I’m thinking that I may need to relieve some of the pressure building between my legs when I get home later. But first, of course, I’ll have to deal with Hakyeon. 

 

I nod at him, letting him know I’ve heard. 

 

**Yes, I know. But, I’m ok with that. And, if we’re starting this tomorrow, should you take me home now?**

 

Half of me wants to go, to get started on packing, and half of me hopes he’ll actually start part of our agreement tonight. I glance at him, wondering what’s going on behind those cool eyes. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

As much as I want to take him and have my way with that ass of his, I have to quelch it and let him go home. I will more than make up for it tomorrow. I have to get up and move around, so I head for the kitchen to pour myself another drink. Since he’s getting the car he might as well take it tonight. But wait, he’s been drinking too. Shit! Okay, Ravi think, think. He can have the spare bedroom tonight, I will stay in my room, everything will be fine. I can keep away, I always do on the night of the agreement discussion, so they can think clearly and sleep on it. But, he’s already agreed. No! I am going to refrain, I have to at least be able to control myself, right? Right. 

 

**Do you have class tomorrow?**

 

I yell from the kitchen as I pour a large glass of vodka.

 

My dick is thinking before my brain is. Down boy! Gotta stay in the pants tonight. But, he felt so good yesterday, and I really want to just throw him over the side of the bed, and fuck him so hard. 

 

I down my drink and pour another before heading back into the seating area.

 

(Leo)

Ravi gets up and heads to the kitchen, taking our glasses with him. I can faintly hear him pouring another drink, then he yells out to me. 

 

**Do you have class tomorrow?**

 

I shake my head, then remember that he can’t see me. Suddenly it hits me just how much I’ve drank tonight, and I can barely hold my liquor on a good night, much less one as out-of-the-ordinary as this one has been. And Ravi has had just as much to drink as I have, if not more.

 

So how am I supposed to get home? 

 

Deciding I’ll worry about that later, I shout back at him. 

 

**No, tomorrow is one of my relax days.**

 

I wonder if that’s a good thing or bad?

  
  


(Ra)

 

I head back in to the kitchen without saying a word, grabbing another glass and pouring Leo a drink. Once my hands are full of alcohol, I head back to him and hand his over. I might as well get too drunk to do anything, or have him pass out, whichever comes first. That way, I can hopefully keep my rule of no sex on nights like these.

 

**You might as well stay here, use the room that’s going to be yours. Here drink this, it’ll help ease the tension of tonight. You can take a shower if you want, then you can do whatever. I am going to drink this, and just relax a bit.**

 

What I meant to say was, I am not believing what I have just done, and I need to drink myself senseless so I can forget that I just told you to live here with me, you can have one of my cars to use, and I will spend about sixteen hundred won to get you out of your rent lease. 

 

**Oh, and do you need any clothes for tonight? Or do you sleep naked?**

 

Son-of-a-bitch! I just put my drink to my lips and start guzzling.

 

(Leo)

 

Ravi comes back from the kitchen with two glasses, and hands one off to me. He raises his to his lips as he speaks. 

 

**You might as well stay here, use the room that’s going to be yours. Here drink this, it’ll help ease the tension of tonight. You can take a shower if you want, then you can do whatever. I am going to drink this, and just relax a bit.**

 

I nod, taking a drink and coughing as it goes down. It’s a bit stronger than I prefer, but at this point I’m buzzed so it doesn’t seem like it’ll make much difference. I keep sipping as he drains his glass, then asks, 

 

**Oh, and do you need any clothes for tonight? Or do you sleep naked?**

 

I shake my head. 

 

**No, I’m good. I only wear pyjamas in the winter, when it’s cold.**

 

I down the last of my drink and look up at him. 

 

**Ravi, I think I need to go to bed. I’m drunk, and I need to…**

 

I can’t even get the words out, but if he is observant as I believe he is, he’ll see the bulge in the crotch of my jeans and put two and two together. Or that’s what I’m hoping anyway. I’m past too drunk to care at this point. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

I was about to ask what he needs to do, until I follow his eyes down. Oh hell, he is not making this easy on me. I swallow hard, get to my feet, then help him get up. He leans into my body, using me as a prop as he walks. I lead him to the bedroom that will be his, set him down and then help him with his shirt and pants, keeping my hands away from his boxers. Pulling his covers down, he crawls in and is out before his head even starts to fall to the pillow.

 

I let out a sigh of relief, as I walk out and head to my shower. I have to get rid of this raging hard-on somehow. I turn on the water, not too hot but not too cold. Stripping down, my cock falls free from its restraints and lays heavy in my hand. I wrap my fingers firmly around it, starting with long lazy strokes. I step under the water, feeling it run over my tense muscles. I let some pool in my hand, aiding in the slickness I need to feel some friction. I am imagining the way Leo’s walls felt, gripping, then fluttering all around my cock, and my hand imitates the sensation, firm then light, hard then slow. I can see myself sliding in and out past the rim of his opening, the way it stretched for me, the closed tight around me.  My pace sped up as I envisioned his hips on my thighs, my fingers gripping his waist as I slammed home, deeply seated inside him. Using my free hand, I wet my own entrance, sliding my finger inside. Between stroking my cock and fingering myself, I am nearly on the brink in a few short seconds. I can see the look on his face as he came undone around my cock, clenching and moaning as his profanities passed from his lips like sweet nectar. I had to lean against the wall to support my body, my hand pumping hard and fast, gripping and stretching my length almost painfully. My hips began to stutter, my knees going weak as my release came hot and full into my hand. 

 

**Fu-fuck Leo, god I want to fuck you so bad. Oh! Shi-**

 

I leaned my head back on the cool tile, trying to catch my breath. Once I could stand again, I washed my body and rinsed off, this time with cool water tempering my lust. I make my way to my bed, dried off then threw the towel on the floor as I fell into bed. Finally able to sleep.

 

(Leo)

I woke the next morning with a pounding head and a mouth full of sawdust. Opening my eyes blearily, I wondered for a second where I was. When it hit me, I sat upright in the bed. The motion made the bass drum in my head beat double time, and I fought down nausea. As the pain slowly subsided, I slowly took stock of myself. I was stripped down to my boxers, probably thanks to Ravi, but I didn’t feel as if I’d done anything inappropriate last night. It was why I rarely drank-it tended to mess with my head, and I hated feeling like shit, which was how a hangover always left me feeling. I gave thanks that I didn’t have class today, and decided instead to go back to sleep for a while, to maybe wake up with my head a bit clearer. 

 

Unfortunately, as I snuggled back under the covers, I started to wonder if I’d done anything last night that might have upset Ravi. I remembered our conversation about limits, but somewhere in there things got a bit fuzzy, and I wondered if I’d broken any rules. But surely not, right, since I was still here? I didn’t know, and I hate not knowing things. Sighing, aware that I wouldn’t sleep anymore today, I worked my way slowly from the bed, grabbing up my clothes from the floor and sliding them on carefully. When I was decently clothed, I went in search of Ravi. 

 

(Ra)

 

I heard shuffling in the hall and I sat bolt upright. Thankfully I am spared a hangover, all thanks to my ability to hold my liquor. It takes me a minute to remember that Leo is here. There is an immediate swelling at my groin and i shake my head. It is officially tomorrow, and  I did tell myself that I would get a hold of him when tomorrow came.

 

**Preppy, I’m in here.**

 

Hopefully he hears me and can follow the sound of my voice. Time to start our agreement in full swing.

  
  


(Leo)

 

**Preppy, I’m in here.**

 

I moan softly as his call knifes its way into my brain. Taking a deep breath, I wait until the pain subsides, then follow the sound to what I assume is his room, opening the door, I step inside, relieved when I find him. 

 

**Good morning Ravi.**

 

I whisper, mouth still dry. I lick my lips, trying to wet them, and wonder, after everything we discussed last night, what plans he has for us, for  _ me,  _ today. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

He looks awful. I am pretty sure he has a hangover, and I need to get rid of that if I expect him to keep up his end of the deal. I get up and head to my bathroom, taking some painkillers from the bottle in the medicine cabinet. I get some water and walk back in. Sitting him down on my bed, I take his hand and put the medicine in it.

 

**Take these, they’ll help you feel better.**

 

As he takes pops them in his mouth, I hand him the water. When he is finished, I tell him to follow me and head to the kitchen. I need sustenance first, we both do by the looks of things. I fix some rice and fried eggs, setting his plate down first then taking a seat to start eating. When he doesn’t move, I kick into control mode.

 

**Eat. Now. Then go and sit on the couch until you feel better. I said eat Preppy.**

 

He starts to fork the food into his mouth, eyes closed against the pounding in his head. I need to learn he has a limit far less than mine. 

 

After he finishes eating,  I tell him to go to the couch and relax. I head to the studio, checking my schedule for the day. No one until one o’clock. That will give me time to get him feeling better then get last night’s sexual frustration out of my system. After checking my emails, I head back to the house side, checking on Leo. He looks better, a bit more color coming back to his cheeks.

 

**You feeling better?**

 

He nods, eyes opening and they look much clearer than before. He even manages a thank you.

 

**Good, now let’s get something out of the way.**

 

Without saying anything further, I offer him my hand to help him up. Once he is on his feet, I pull him to me, my mouth claiming his in a heated kiss. I push my tongue past his parted lips and dive into the wet heat as his tongue finds mine and teases me. This is going to be one hell of a lesson in doing what I say. I grab his arm and drag him to the black room, throwing the door open and flinging him to the bed.

 

**Sit.**

 

He obeys me, and sets himself on the side of the bed, eyes looking up to me in question. I put myself in front of him, pulling my pyjama pants down over my hips.

 

**I want you to suck my cock like you’ve never sucked before. You will keep your eyes on mine, don’t look away.**

 

He takes my half length in his mouth, swirling and circling his tongue over the tip of the head. I twitch involuntarily as he swipes over the slit that is already leaking pre-cum. His tongue is soft and hot, and the things it is doing to me makes my head swim. Without warning he moves his head forward, taking me fully to the back of his throat and I feel  the smooth wall as I hit the back of his mouth. He hollows his cheeks, the vacuum he creates applying perfect pressure all around. His head begins to move back and forth, his eyes trained on mine the entire time. He watches as my head falls forward and a growl rumbles low in my chest. I refuse to look away from those seductive eyes as he lowers his lashes. He finds a rhythm that isn’t too fast, but not so slow that I go insane. I fist my hand in his hair as I thrust my hips forward, I can sense the vibrations as he hums in satisfaction. I am already on the verge of exploding down his throat, but I want to ride his cock as he jacks me off. I reluctantly pull out of his mouth, an audible pop when I break the seal he has created.

 

**Lie down on the bed, hands over your head and grab the bar.**

 

He is flat in a heartbeat, hands grasping the metal bar until his knuckle go white. I walk over to the armoire, grabbing a fresh bottle of lube from the shelf. I see him watching me with fascination as I come back beside the bed.

 

**Using only one hand, I want to watch you coat that cock of yours real good, but don’t play too long. That cock is for my pleasure only.**

 

He lifts a hand up and I squirt some lube in his palm, then toss the bottle to the side. I watch his hand as he runs the lube from base to tip, stroking a few times to get it fully slicked up.

 

**I’m going to ride that cock of yours and you’re going to use that slick hand to jack me off. You can only use that hand, and you can’t touch me anywhere else unless I say so.**

 

I climb on top of him, resting on my knees as I slowly lower myself down and lining his tip with my waiting hole. I feel the delicious sting as he stretches me open and fills me up. He is still just as tight, and I can’t help the moan I give out as I seat him fully to the hilt. I roll my hips as I settle down on him.

 

**Take my cock in your hand and stroke my cock hard Preppy.**

 

Wrapping his slickened fingers around my girth, he grips me firm and sets in on jacking me at a rapid pace. The heady mixture of him filling me up and stroking my cock with such fervor that my body shakes and I begin to rock my hips and grind down into his pelvis. I feel him begin to pulse and throb, my walls clenching tight in response. He catches his release, spilling rope after rope of thick hot warm as I clench and grip him with my soft but firm walls.

 

**Don’t fucking stop Preppy! Make me cum for you! Gah- dammit Leo faster!**

 

His hand is pumping so hard and so fast the my orgasm rips through me. My head falls back as I scream his name like a praise song to the heavens. I can still feel him somewhat hard and still filling me up, his cum slipping out of me and down over his crotch. The sound of slick skin smacking skin is the only sound echoing off the walls as we both come down from our highs.

 

**Such a good boy for me Preppy. Following my directions perfectly. I’ll show you my appreciation later.**

  
  


(Leo)

 

Ravi has only to look at me to know how horrible I feel. He rises from his spot on the bed, padding into the bathroom and coming back with painkillers and a glass of water. Pushing me over to the bed, he forces me to sit before handing me the pills and glass. 

 

**Take these, they’ll help you feel better.**

 

I accept them gratefully, tossing the pills back and sucking down the water. When I’m finished, Ravi gestures for me to follow him. I set the glass on the bedside table and pad after him to the kitchen. I sink into a chair while he cooks. The scent of cooking food makes my mouth water and at the same time makes my stomach rebel. So when he sets the plate of fried eggs and rice before me, I just stare at it, wondering if I would get sick if I ate it. He takes a bite of his own food, looks up at me, and speaks softly but without room for debate. 

 

**Eat. Now. Then go sit on the couch until you feel better. I said eat, Preppy.**

 

There’s no way I can argue, so I pick up my fork and begin lifting the food to my lips. The more I eat, I find, the better I feel. When I’m finished, I head to the living room, taking my assigned seat on the couch. I lay my head back and close my eyes. I feel a little less like death warmed over when he returns. 

 

**You feeling better?**

 

I nod, bringing my head up and opening my eyes. 

 

**Yes, thank you.**

 

**Good, now let’s get something out of the way.**

 

He offers me a hand, and I gasp when he pulls me to my feet, yanking me up against him and pressing his lips over mine. His tongue licks at my lips and then my mouth as I part them to let him in. My tongue makes little kitten licks at his, and he moans softly before breaking away. He grabs my arm, dragging me to the playroom, flinging the door open and shoving me inside. I land on the bed on my ass, involuntarily following his order to sit. I’m curious as to why he brought me in here, but it’s not long until I find out. 

 

He comes to stand in front of me, pulling his pyjama pants down over his hips, letting his cock spring free. 

 

**I want you to suck my cock like you’ve never sucked before. You will keep your eyes on mine, don’t look away.**

 

I take his half-hard cock into my mouth, running my tongue over the length and swirling it around the tip, tasting his pre-cum. He twitches, and I slide my head forward, taking the entire length down my throat and hollowing my cheeks. I begin bobbing my head gently, not too fast but not slow. I never look away from Ravi’s eyes as I do so, and I grin internally as I follow his orders to the letter. I watch as he drops his head forward, feel the growl that forms low in his chest. I pick up the pace, humming around him, knowing he’s close by the throbbing of his cock in my mouth. I can’t wait to taste him; but he pulls away before he comes, leaving my mouth empty. 

 

**Lie down on the bed, hands over your head and grab the bar.**

 

I move so fast my head spins slightly, and my hands grip the bar until my knuckles turn white. He crosses the room and grabs a bottle of lube from the armoire. When he comes back to the bed, he explains what he wants to do. 

 

**Using only one hand, I want to watch you coat that cock of yours real good, but don’t play too long. That cock is for my pleasure only.**

 

I hold out a hand and he squirts the liquid onto my fingers. I wrap my hand around my cock, gritting my teeth as I fight not to come as I stroke lightly. Once I’m fully coated, he speaks again. 

 

**I’m going to ride that cock of yours and you’re going to use that slick hand to jack me off. You can only use that hand, and you can’t touch me anywhere else unless I say so.**

 

He climbs onto me, settling down on my hips, and my cock slips easily into him. The tight heat closes around me, and I have to grit my teeth to keep from coming right then. A roll of his hips has me gasping. 

 

**Take my cock in your hand and stroke my cock hard, Preppy.**

 

I do as I’m told, gripping him firmly as I stroke him. His hips roll and grind down onto me, and I’m coming, suddenly, filling him up so much that I can feel my release dripping out of him, around my cock. He keeps moving, chasing his own orgasm. 

 

**Don’t fucking stop, Preppy! Make me cum for you! Gah- dammit Leo faster!**

 

My hand moves in almost a blur and I get to watch him come apart. His head falls back as he howls my name. My cock gives a desperate twitch inside him, and I wish I could come again. I fight to regulate my breathing as he praises me. 

 

**Such a good boy for me Preppy. Following my directions perfectly. I’ll show you my appreciation later.**

 

I want to ask exactly what his appreciation looks like, since I’m still buried inside him, but I think better of it and simply give him a small smile in response.


	8. Chapter 8

(Ra)

When he smiles at me, I wonder  what he is thinking at that moment. I lift my body off of him, using my discarded pants to clean us both up. He sits up on the edge of the bed, still not saying anything. I begin to think I broke him. But when I look back he is staring patiently, actually exciting for me to say or do something. 

 

**Why don't you go and take a shower? I have to get the studio ready to open. You can do whatever you need today, just be home by eight o’clock for dinner.**

 

I headed out of the plain, a small smile curling at my lips, he did very good indeed. 

 

I made my way to the studio, only to find out my client needed to cancel. So now, I have a free day, and my partner to keep me entertained. 

 

Wonder what he had planned for today? Maybe I should help him move his stuff out, that way I could pay his half of the rent for the two months I promised Leo I would do for him. 

 

Then again, I said he could do whatever, so I decided to let him just have a free day. 

 

I cleaned the apartment, paid some bills, and spent time in the studio office taking care of emails and messages. Heading back to living room, I began thinking about what it's going to be like living with Leo. I mean, he's quiet and soft spoken, doesn't say or do a lot, and is new to this. I am going to have to break him of the quiet part and get him out of his shell. 

 

I was going to have my work cut out for me. 

  
  


(Leo)

 

Ravi uses his pants to clean the both of us off, and I swing my legs over the side of the bed, sitting up. I simply look at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, as a little knot of apprehension grows. It’s broken, however, when he finally looks at me and speaks. 

 

**Why don’t you go and take a shower? I have to get the studio ready to open. You can do whatever you need today, just be home by eight o’clock for dinner.**

 

I nod as he leaves the room, then head for the bathroom. I spend too much time under the hot water, but it’s like a tiny slice of heaven compared to the shower at my apartment, and I don’t want to get out. 

 

Which brings up another issue I don’t want to deal with- Hakyeon. I’m hoping he’ll be out when I go to gather my stuff, but if not, I’ll have some explaining to do. It makes me nervous, not least because he’ll be left without a roommate and an expensive apartment that’s out of his price range without one. I feel guilt gnawing at me, but surely we can work it out? We’ve been friends for far too long for something like this to be an insurmountable obstacle. 

 

I finish my shower finally, climb out and dry out. I have to go back into the bedroom to grab my clothes-wrinkled, of course, which is a bit of a pet peeve of mine- and slip them on. Then, deciding I’ll need to get the keys to Ravi’s car, to pick up some of my stuff, I head off in search of him. 

  
  


(Ra)

Just as I was stepping in to the living room, Leo was coming from the bedroom. He was dressed in his clothes from last night, not having any clothes here yet. 

 

**What're your plans for the day?**

 

(N)

I woke up, quickly becoming aware that the place was silent, dead silent. I had come home yesterday and Leo wasn't here. Fighting my urge to call and check up on him, I began cleaning the apartment. Once that was done, I took my car to get it washed and detailed, then to the grocery store. Surely by now he would be home, wouldn't he? Opening the door, I looked around to find no evidence of him being home. I sent a text, but it came back as undeliverable. He must of changed his number when he got the new phone. Well he'll call me when he needs to. The hours passed into night, and I was actually beginning to worry about Leo's well-being. I went to bed, tossing and turning all night, expecting to hear him come in the door. So here I am, biting my nails to the quick, and no Leo.

 

_ Where is that bastard! I'm gonna kill him when he gets here! _

 

(Leo)

 

**What’re your plans for the day?**

 

**I thought I could get the keys to your car and go pick up some of my stuff to bring back here. Not much, just a few changes of clothes and my books. I don’t think I’ll need much more than that.**

 

I purposely end the sentence questioning, in case there’s anything he wants to suggest I bring back with me. 

 

(Ravi)

 

If he was going to be living here, he would need pretty much everything. Plus the check for his roommate.

 

**Let me get the keys, and a check for your roommate. Hopefully two months should be enough to tide him over. Go ahead and bring everything since you’re going to be living here.**

 

I didn’t want to offer going with him, he needed a clear head to talk with him. I know it’s going to be difficult, but he needed to do that on his own.

  
  


(Leo)

I only nodded at what Ravi told me, but closed my eyes and took a deep breath while he got the keys. Not only was I having to bring essentially my whole life back here with me-no small feat- but I had to face Hakyeon when I get back to the apartment we’d shared. I hadn’t heard from him in hours, and it hadn’t even occurred to me to text him. I was sure I’d be in for one hell of a tirade when I got there, but I wasn’t going to worry about it until it happened. I pushed the thoughts of Hakyeon out of my head as Ravi came back with the keys and the promised check. 

 

(Ravi)

Handing him the keys and check, I saw he was carrying a defeated look on his face. Probably having to deal with moving everything and a confrontation with his roommate. 

 

**Hey, if you need me for anything just call. My client cancelled so I'll just be around here.**

 

(Leo)

**Hey, if you need me for anything just call. My client cancelled so I'll just be around here.**

 

I smiled slightly, taking the check and keys. It made me feel better to know that Ravi would be available if I needed him, but I honestly hoped I could handle this on my own. 

 

**Ok. Well, I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back. And I’ll be careful. Don’t miss me too much.**

 

I winked to let him know I was only joking, and headed for the front door. Here goes nothing. 

 

Driving Ravi’s car was an amazingly relaxing experience. It was like I imagined riding a horse would be, one who has been with you so long that it responds to what you ask almost before you ask it. The sleek lines and shiny paint job didn’t hurt either; I felt a bit like a rockstar, cruising around in a ride I couldn’t afford in my wildest dreams. Of course, I was super careful, because no way did I want to have to go back to Ravi’s and explain that I’d damaged his car. I pulled into the apartment parking with a final burst of speed and a roar, gliding into a parking space. Grabbing my phone and the check, I slid out and locked it behind me. I sighed as I headed for the door, preparing myself as I rode the elevator up. When I got to the door of the apartment, I inserted the key and unlocked it, swinging it open and calling out. 

 

**Hakyeon, I’m home!**

  
  


(N)

 

**Where in the hell have you been? I have been worried sick about you. You didn’t give me your new number, so I can reach you. You are in so much trouble you little shit!**

 

Once I had yelled at him before he could say anything else, I jumped up and ran over to him pulling him into a hug.

 

**Don’t ever do shit like that again!**

 

When I took a good look at his face, I knew he wasn’t bringing good new with him. I cautiously sat back down, then pointed to the chair across from me.

 

**Okay, I know that look. What’s going on?**

  
  


(Leo)

**Where in the hell have you been? I have been worried sick about you. You didn’t give me your new number, so I can reach you. You are in so much trouble you little shit!**

 

Typical Hakyeon, yelling at me as if I were his errant child. I grinned as he jumped up, wrapping his arms around me and mumbled into my shoulder. 

 

**Don’t ever do shit like that again!**

 

I shook my head at him, still grinning, until I remembered why I was here. My smile fell, and he eyed me knowingly as he sat down and pointed to the chair opposite him. I sat down gingerly. 

 

**Okay, I know that look. What’s going on?**

 

There was no sense in sugar-coating it, so I blurted it out. 

 

**Hakyeon, I love you, but I’m moving out.**

 

His mouth fell open and I raised a hand before he could speak. 

 

**No, please, don’t say anything. Let me get all this out. I’ve brought you a check to cover the next two month’s rent, and if you need any help after that, please let me know. No, this has nothing to do with you, and no, I’m not mad at you.**

 

I needed him to know that this had nothing to do with us as friends, and that short of us not living together anymore, things wouldn’t change. Or at least, not that much. I hoped. 

 

**I, well, this is going to sound crazy, but I’m moving in with someone else.**

 

I paused, giving him time to process everything I’d said thus far, and letting him rant if he needed to. 

 

(N)

 

**You’re what? Who? What?**

 

I couldn’t wrap my brain around what he was telling me. I haven’t heard about someone else, and I know he wasn’t back with dickhead ex. I just stared at him, with a dumbfounded look plastered on my face.

 

**Are you fucking serious? Yes, that does sound crazy!**

  
  


(Leo)

I spread my hands in a slightly helpless gesture. There was no easy way to tell him the truth, so I kept it short. 

 

**His name is Ravi. We met at the club...The other night.**

 

When I thought about it, I realized I did sound like I’d lost my mind. I’d met this guy just days ago and suddenly I was moving in with him? What kind of nuts do you have to be to do that? Yet at the same time, I knew there was no way I was backing out. Insanely fast or not, I was committed to seeing this through. 

 

**Are you fucking serious? Yes, that does sound crazy!**

 

I shrugged. 

 

**Maybe, but it’s what I want, Hakyeon. So, I’m going to gather my stuff, and I’d like your help. If you’re willing.**

 

I gave him my best puppy look, hoping he’d forgive me and help. 

  
  


(N)

 

How could I deny those puppy dog eyes? Easily, and I wasn’t finished with him yet.

 

**Hold up. You are moving in with a guy you met just a few short days ago, and that doesn’t ring any alarm bells with you? Really, Leo, I love you man, but you are seriously screwed up in that head of yours to think that this, whatever you’re doing, is normal. Do you like him, or is it something dangerous and you can’t tell me?**

 

Shit! What if he was in some kind of trouble and he had no choice. Leo is smart, but he can also be pretty naive and dumb in certain things. 

  
  


(Leo)

**Hold up. You are moving in with a guy you met just a few short days ago, and that doesn’t ring any alarm bells with you?  Do you like him, or is it something dangerous and you can’t tell me?**

 

I shook my head. I would laugh if Hakyeon weren’t so serious at the moment. 

 

**It’s...Well, I’m not in trouble, and it’s certainly not dangerous. At least, not in any permanent way. As for liking him, he’s smart and sexy, but that’s not what this is all about.**

 

My cheeks flame as I consider what it  _ is  _ about, and just how good Ravi is at what he does. My hand comes up to rub at the back of my neck, and my gaze drops to the floor. 

 

_ Please, God, don’t let Hakyeon ask anything about the truth of what Ravi and I share.  _

 

I think desperately.

 

(N)

 

**So, is it the sex? Is he that good? Damn, must be for you to abandon your best friend and roommate. Leo, yes, I am pissed that you are moving out, but if you feel like you have to do this, then I can only support you, I guess. Just remember that if you ever need a place to come back to, I’m here. Besides, now Chae and Baekhyun can move in. We had talked about it before, but not seriously. And now I don’t have to worry about you hearing anything!**

 

I was going to miss that shithead, but he is growing up and needed to make his own decisions, so who was I to hamper his maturing into a grown-up? I stand up, telling him that if he needs help packing then I would help until I had to go to work.

 

**Am I ever going to meet this guy or is he a well kept secret?**

  
  


(Leo)

**So, is it the sex? Is he that good?**

 

_ Oh, my god, Hakyeon, stop talking! _

 

My cheeks are so hot that I’m sure I must resemble a tomato. I suspect that my expression tells him everything he needs to know, and I’m glad when he lets it pass without comment. It is nice to know that he’s still there to support me, and I shoot him a smile. 

 

**Am I ever going to meet this guy or is he a well kept secret?**

 

**Um, well, maybe. I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask him. Oh, that reminds me. Let me give you my new number, ok?**

 

I pull my phone from my pocket and unlock it, tapping the screen until it brings up Hakyeon’s number, and I shoot him a smiley emoticon text. That done, I lock my phone and slip it back into my pocket. 

 

**Now, packing. Let’s see what all I just have to take with me.**

 

I’m ready to get down to business-and back to Ravi. 

 

(N)

 

I helped Leo pack all he had except for a few items I would keep here for the ‘just in case’ scenarios. Helping him carry everything down, I wondered how he was going to get it all back. Then I saw it, a gorgeous Audi, and we were heading for it.

 

**Leo, what in the hell? Is he letting you drive this? Dude, you must really have him whipped!**

 

I hug him, then watch as he drives away. I can't help but wonder if he'll be okay.

 

(Ra)

 

I was just finishing all my paperwork for next month, when I got a call from Leo telling me he was on his way back. I had planned on helping him set his room up, so I headed that way, moving some old boxes out of the closet. One fell open, and I froze. Why did I have this shit here? I am really trying to forget all of it, but something keeps bringing it back up.

 

Well hell, now my mood is shitty, and Leo will be here soon. Grabbing the stuff off the floor, I cram it all back in the box and carry it to the dumpster out back. Thing is, I couldn't quite bring myself to throw it in. So instead, I shove it in the storage shed and head back in.

 

I hear the door open, then I see Leo with a box and a bag.

 

**Hey.**

 

It was all I could muster to say, and I hoped he didn't notice my mood.

  
  


(Leo)

 

It took less than an hour to pack all my stuff, and we were heading down to the parking lot when I remembered that Hakyeon hadn’t seen Ravi’s car. When he spotted it, he whistled. 

 

**Leo, what in the hell? Is he letting you drive this? Dude, you must really have him whipped!**

 

I laughed and shook my head, pulling the key from my pocket and popping the trunk with a press of a button. 

 

**It’s not like that. But I have to admit, it’s a hell of a machine to drive.**

 

We pack the two boxes and my duffel bag full of clothes into the trunk, and I slam it shut. Turning to Hakyeon, I wrap my arms around him. He returns the embrace, and everything we can’t say passes silently between us. 

 

_ Be careful. I will. Take care of yourself. I will. Love you. Love you too.  _

 

He releases me, and I palm the check over, the last thing I have to do. The driver’s seat welcomes me into its embrace, and I pull out my phone, sending Ravi a quick message to let him know I’m on the way back. As I leave, I look in the rearview and blink away some tears at the image of Hakyeon standing there, watching me go. 

 

When I get back to Ravi’s place, I grab my bag and one box, juggling them to open the door. Ravi is standing there, apparently waiting for me, and I smile. 

 

**Hey.**

 

I stop, mid-step, at the tone of his voice. He sounds...Off. I can’t put my finger on it, not even sure if I should mention it, since he did tell me not to pry. Maybe I’m better off holding my tongue. I decide to play it safe. 

 

**Hey. So, where should I drop this stuff?**

  
  
  


(Ra)

 

**I’ve got your room ready, we can put it in there.**

 

I lead him to his room where he drops his first load of things. We finally get all his stuff unloaded and he sets about arranging the room the way he wants it. I help as much as I can, my mood lifting a bit as the time passes. Once we have everything completed, we stand in the middle of the room and look around. I have never had anyone living with me, so it kind of feels weird to see this room full of someone else’s things.

 

I look at my watch, seeing that it is almost eight. Shoving my hands in my back pockets, I ask Leo if he wants to join me for dinner.

 

**I have a dinner engagement tonight. Nothing serious, just some partners with the new studio. I want you to join me, if you want. But, you can stay here and do whatever until I get back. I know you have school tomorrow. Also I have laid the contract of the kitchen counter for you to review and note any changes you feel need to be done. Whatever you want to do, just let me know.**

 

I wasn’t sure if inviting him would make him feel like it was a date or anything, but I really wanted to show him off to some friends. These friends know about my lifestyle and they wouldn’t judge, so I felt comfortable asking Leo to go. 

  
  


(Leo)

 

It doesn’t take long to bring in everything from the car, but unpacking of course is more labor-intensive. Ravi helps where he can, but mostly just stands back and lets me put my things away. Time flies, until he looks at his watch. I watch him as he tucks his hands into the back pockets of his pants and glances at me. 

 

**I have a dinner engagement tonight. Nothing serious, just some partners with the new studio. I want you to join me, if you want. But, you can stay here and do whatever until I get back. I know you have school tomorrow. Also I have laid the contract of the kitchen counter for you to review and note any changes you feel need to be done. Whatever you want to do, just let me know.**

 

I nod, at the same time my stomach growls. I grin. 

 

**I guess that decides the dinner invitation. And I guess I’ll look over the contract when we get back, if it’s not too late. As for school, my first class isn’t until ten, so I don’t have to be up super early. Ah, speaking of dinner, what should I wear?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before things get super angsty and possibly trigger-y. You've been warned. :)

  
  


(Ra)

 

I had to stifle a laugh when his stomach growled loud enough for me to hear. He is like a garbage disposal, did he not eat before we met? 

 

**I guess that decides the dinner invitation. And I guess I’ll look over the contract when we get back, if it’s not too late. As for school, my first class isn’t until ten, so I don’t have to be up super early. Ah, speaking of dinner, what should I wear?**

 

My lips curled into a big grin when he asked me what he should wear. He really is a quick study. I ponder over what I saw as far as his clothing options. He doesn’t have a lot of finer clothes, I guess he doesn’t need them being a college student. Looking through his closet I pick out a pair of gold beige dress pants and a white button oxford button-up. I pair it up with some brown loafers and a brown belt, sleek yet simple. I lay the outfit on his bed, then turn to head out the door. 

 

**Wear this tonight. Tomorrow after class, we are going shopping for you and me. Oh, and also, put your eyeliner on, I like how it makes your eyes all smokey and cat like. I want them to be jealous that I have you and not them.**

 

I give him a sly smirk then head out the door to my own room. I want to try and compliment his outfit so I pick out a beige on beige pinstripe pant and jacket set with a cream colored V-neck shirt. I pair it with my off white loafers and my clear rimmed glasses. 

 

I grab my keys and yell for Leo to get a move on it.

 

**Preppy! We gotta go! Step to it!**

  
  


(Leo)

 

I stifle a groan when he emerges from my closet with those damn pants. The shirt is one of my favorites, but Hakyeon bought the pants as a joke last year, and I’d forgotten all about them, until now. But, if that’s what Ravi picked out, I suppose I can stand them for one night. I’ll just burn them later. 

 

Ravi leaves me alone, and I slip out of my dirty clothes and into the clean outfit, happy to change. I turn to look at myself in the mirror on the closet door once I have the shirt and pants on, and I have to admit that I don’t look half bad. I roll the cuff of the pants up before putting on my socks and the loafers, then roll the cuffs of the sleeves up as well, but just once. I run a brush through my hair, then shake my head to give it just a little bit of a messy look. Lastly, I grab my eyeliner and draw bold streaks around my eyes. Lowering my eyes to the floor and glancing up at myself through my lashes, I have to admit that I am, in a word, stunning. 

 

**Preppy! We gotta go! Step to it!**

 

Ravi’s voice has me snapping out of my daydreaming, and I toss the eyeliner on the bed, swoop up my phone and rush out to where he’s waiting for me. I falter in my step when I see him. He’s wearing shades of white, and it makes him look angelic and somehow demonic at the same time. My mouth goes dry and I can’t speak when I come to a stop in front of him, my eyes trailing involuntarily up and down his body. I hope to God I can control myself better when we’re out in public. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

I was just about to yell again when I saw him come into view. Holy hell, he looked hot! His Cafe Au Lait skin was set off perfectly by the color scheme he had on. Looking him up and down, I settle on his eyes. Those sexy as hell, come hither eyes make my crotch swell immediately. I don’t really give a rat’s ass if he notices it or not, I want him to know what he does to me.

 

**Umm, after tonight you are not allowed to wear that outfit out again, only for me. Also, don’t look at any of my friends the way you are looking at me right now. I am possessive and I don’t want to hurt any of them.**

 

I punctuate my statement by grabbing a fist full of hair and pulling his head back so I can kiss up his neck and land on his lips, kissing him hard to prove my point.  I let him go as quickly as I grab him, leaving him to sway in his place.

 

**Let’s go Preppy. Time to show you off and eat. Food that is, I’ll eat you later.**

 

I can’t help but smile to myself as I imagine his face while I walk away.

 

(Leo)

I see Ravi’s eyes widen almost imperceptibly as his gaze rakes over me. I smirk just a little when my eyes snag on the crotch of his pants, where I can clearly see the outline of his half-hard cock. It’s a heady feeling, knowing that just looking at me affects him so much. 

 

**Umm, after tonight, you are not allowed to wear that outfit out again, only for me. Also, don’t look at any of my friends the way you are looking at me right now. I am possessive and I don’t want to hurt any of them.**

 

He drives the words home when he grabs my hair and yanks my head back, nibbling up my neck before bringing his lips down on mine. It’s hot and possessive and over before I can process it. I sway in place as he lets go of me, turning to walk away. 

 

**Let’s go Preppy. Time to show you off and eat. Food, that is, I’ll eat you later.**

 

I follow him in a daze, raising one hand to my lips and my brain rushing ahead to imagine what my night will be like when we get back. 

 

 

(Ra)

 

We hop in the jeep, peeling out of the driveway and heading into the city. We talk about how things went with his roommate, and if they were still on good terms. I told him about the new studio that was opening and what would be covered during this dinner. I let him know that he could join in if he had anything to say, but to remember whose he was and if he got out of line, there would be punishments later. 

 

We arrived at the house of my co-owner, Yoongi, and rang the bell. He answered the door, looking as suave as usual in his Gucci blue pants and his crazy Hawaiian shirt. He had just as many tattoos as I did, except his were more colorful and carried a theme. What that theme was, though, nobody was really sure of. 

 

Ravi, hey man, great to see you. Who is this? Did you bring dessert?

 

I know Yoongi means no harm, he just likes to get a reaction out of people. I give him a big hug and introduce Leo. Yoongi raises an eyebrow at me in question, and I shrug. He will have questions later, but for now he ushers us in and leads us to the back yard. The large patio is set with a long dining table and chairs. There is a drink and appetizer buffet to our right and to the left is the party goods buffet. I shake my head at Leo when his eyes go wide at the various substances lining the table. I lean over and whisper in his ear.

 

**Don’t even think of touching that table. I stay away and so will you.**

 

We walk out, my other friends coming to greet us. I introduce each of them to Leo, who I call Preppy, just to keep it interesting.

 

**Preppy, this is Jay, Eric, Namjoon, Minho, and Youngguk. Don’t worry you don’t have to remember their names, they all go by ‘hey asshole’.**

 

They all laugh and nod in agreement. Poor Leo looks absolutely lost and scared. I place my hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze to help him relax. I grab us both a drink, and we all sit down at the table.

 

The discussion starts off with the design of the building, then we move on to the back half of the studio, the club part. We are trying to figure out what style deco we want, when Jay looks at Leo.

 

So preppy, you have any ideas? how would you decorate the club end?

 

I stare at Jay, then back to Leo, whose jaw is moving up and down but no words are coming out.

 

**Yeah Preppy, what would you do?**

 

I place my hand on his thigh under the table, trailing it up until I come to cup my hand over his crotch and begin palming him through his pants.

  
  


(Leo)

 

The drive over to Ravi’s friend’s house is a but thrilling in the jeep. Ravi handles it with the same competence as he does the Audi, but this is not a sleek car, but a loud, powerful machine. The vibrations from the engine give me a sense of riding a wild stallion. Ravi diverts my attention by bringing up my visit to the apartment earlier, and we pass the time talking about my relationship with Hakyeon, which is perfectly fine, and he lets me know that I can join in any conversations while we’re at dinner, though I tell him that I’ll probably just listen, since I don’t know much about the art of tattooing. 

 

When we arrive, we’re met at the door by a man who has so many tattoos that he makes Ravi look like an inexperienced novice. He’s loud and sassy, and I find myself smiling inwardly when he jokes about me being dessert, though I’m careful to keep my face blank. When Ravi introduces me to him, I nod politely, reminding myself that I’m a reflection of Ravi right now. I get the sense that Yoongi is slightly impressed as he leads us out to the back patio. There are two buffets set up, the one to the right full of drinks and appetizers, and the one to the left… My eyes widen as I take in the amount and variety of drugs laid out. Ravi leans over without missing a beat. 

 

**Don’t even think of touching that table. I stay away and so will you.**

 

I nod. I’ve never done drugs, never wanted to, but seeing them just sitting out that way, in plain view, is shocking. 

 

Other people come up to greet Ravi, and he introduces them to me, calling me Preppy the whole time. It’s not a nickname I prefer, but heaven knows I’m not about to tell Ravi that, at least not here. I want to make a smart quip when he tells me not to bother really remembering their names, since they all answer to ‘asshole’, but I can’t help but note Namjoon’s somewhat babyish face, and Youngguk’s deep voice. Those two, at least, I’ll have no problem remembering. I suppose, though, that I look a bit overwhelmed, since Ravi reaches up and squeezes my shoulder reassuringly. He leaves my side for a moment, returning with two drinks, and we all take a seat at the large table. 

 

They discuss the new building, including the design, and I only half listen as they move on to talking about the back half of the studio, which will be a club. They’ve been debating decor ideas for a while when Jay, his name coming to me in a moment of panic, turns to me and asks my opinion. 

 

So preppy, you have any ideas? how would you decorate the club end?

 

Ravi glances over at me, and I open my mouth, no sound coming out. I’m terrified, being put on the spot like this, and Ravi doesn’t help. 

 

**Yeah Preppy, what would you do?**

 

I grit my teeth as I feel his hand slide up my leg under the table until his hand is cupping my cock through my pants, and I have to ball my hands into fists. I stab my palms with my nails, in order to keep from yelping, moaning, or fluttering my eyes closed, all three of which I want to do in rapid succession. Finally, breathing through my nose, I manage to speak. 

 

**I-um. I would go with, ah, something sleek and understated. Of course, it’s just my opinion, but I like the thought of steel, maybe, grey brick, and glass. Like I said, sleek without being flashy. Of course, that’s just my opinion, and I don’t know that much about decorating clubs.**

 

I swallow then, and close my eyes, turning my head just a little, flashing Ravi a glare from under the sweep of my lashes. 

 

_ Take that, Ravi. What do you think of me now?  _

 

It’s sassy and I’m probably breaking unspoken rules doing it, but even if I am punished for it later, I can’t bring myself to regret it. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

Namjoon nods to Leo’s suggestion. I actually like the sound of it, a touch of steampunk with industrial. I like it, a lot. We jot down some ideas based on his suggestion and then continue. I do not let Leo’s behavior go unaccounted for. I give his balls a firm squeeze as I look at him with a glare while putting on my best fake smile.

 

**Thanks for the input Preppy.**

 

I am sure my tone is way more calm than I am feeling, but he is going to have to pay for that little outburst, and pay very soon. We finish the planning part of dinner, so everyone get up to grab more drinks and visit the party table. I sidle up to Leo, and putting my hand on his waist, I pull him to me.

 

**I am going to the bathroom, in five minutes you are to join me. It’s upstairs, then left, second door on the right. Do Not Be Late.**

 

I let him go, and head for the door. I cannot let this one wait until we get home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an additional reminder that the next chapter will contain dubious consent sex, and it's where the angst really picks up. Just a heads up before you click that next chapter button.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst, dubious consent sex, punishment and pain, and other stuff along those lines are in this chapter. Please, if any of these things might be a trigger for you, DON'T READ ANY FURTHER!!!

(Leo)

 

I’m pleasantly surprised when my idea for the club decor isn’t dismissed out of hand, and in fact they start writing down ideas based on it. I feel a flutter of happiness that they would even listen to me. But Ravi lets me know he hasn’t forgotten my little stunt as he gives my balls a quick, almost painful squeeze. 

 

After a while, they decide they have enough ideas to work off of, and everyone goes for more drinks or heads to the party table. I rise and grab another drink. Ravi comes up beside me, one hand snaking around my waist and pulling me close. The feeling of his breath across my neck and ear as he speaks has me shivering. 

 

**I am going to the bathroom, in five minutes you are to join me. It’s upstairs, then left, second door on the right. Do not be late.**

 

He growls out that last, and my heart drops. Maybe being sassy to him earlier wasn’t such a good idea. But there’s no taking it back as I watch him walk to the house and disappear inside. 

 

I can’t even go back to my seat, I’m so antsy. I wonder vaguely what the others think of my restless wandering around, each step taking me closer to the house while I try desperately not to seem too needy, or as if anything is wrong at all. At the four minute mark, I head for the door. I pound up the stairs, palms sweating as I swing down the hallway, and come to a stop in front of the second door on the right. I raise my hand and knock as my five minutes are up. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

I hear the knock just as my watch ticks away the last second of five minutes. I grab the knob and slowly turn it. Opening the door I see Leo, wide eyes full of either fear or regret for sassing me. I grab him by the shirt and pull him in, locking the door behind me. I push him over the sink, his hands spread apart to keep himself upright. I look at his face through the mirror and simply shake my head. In the meantime my hand is lifting up, only to come down swift and hard across his backside. The entire time I am watching him, my glare daring him to make a sound. He bites his lip, eyes popping at the sting. I do it again, moving the slap lower. Again, he bites hard on his bottom lip trying not to make a sound. I reach around his waist and undo the belt, then find the button and zipper, swiftly undoing each one. I never take my eyes off of his reflection. I undo my own pants, dropping them to the floor. I grab the waist of Leo’s pants, tugging them down past his knees. I push his upper body forward with one hand at his neck, the other pulling his hips back.

 

Once I have him in the position I want, I take my hand from his waist and turn the faucet on just enough to wet my hand. I wet down my cock, then line it up with his entrance, then pull his hips back further while I slide in deep. I keep silently daring him to make a sound, shaking my head when i see his mouth start to fall open. With my hand still at his neck, I keep his head facing forward, making him watch his reflection as I pound into his tight hole fast and hard. I make him look at how he reacts to the punishment I am giving him. He can see my face as my brow furrows with pleasure. I reach to his front grasping his now fully erect cock in my hand. I start to pump him at the same agonizing pace I am fucking his ass with. I am sure it is slightly painful, but that what punishments are, a bit painful to remind you not to let it happen again. My hips are slamming into him, the slap of skin on skin the only sound anyone could hear, if they were listening. At that moment I wondered if someone was listening, which only made me thrust harder and deeper. I angle my hips up, hitting his ball of nerves hard. I can see tears starting to form in his eyes, but at that moment, I was to absorbed in teaching him a lesson. I felt my orgasm coming at full speed, my hand and my cock racing each other to see who would get off first. I grit my teeth and bowed my head as I came at the same time as Leo. I could feel him pulsing and twitching in my hand, as my own cock pulsed within his fluttering walls. I gave one last hard thrust, making sure he felt it deep inside. Pulling out I grabbed the hand towel on the counter and wiped myself off, then handed it to Leo.

 

**Preppy, don’t you ever sass me again in front of my friends, unless you want something a bit more... painful, to happen next time. Clean yourself up and meet me downstairs.**

 

(Leo)

 

The bathroom door swung open, revealing Ravi with a look on his face that sparked a burst of fear in my blood. He grabbed me, yanking me into the room and slamming and locking the door behind me. I couldn’t have felt more afraid if I’d suddenly found myself in a cage with a starving tiger. He pushed me over to the sink, and I put my hands out instinctively to catch myself, leaving me leaning over the counter. I glanced at his reflection in the mirror in front of me, and he shook his head at me. I saw his hand come up, then felt the sting of it on my ass. I threw my head back, but obediently, I choked back my cry. Again his hand came down on me, lower this time, and I let my head fall back forward, locking my eyes with his in the mirror. I bite my lip, hard enough to taste blood. This isn’t what I’d planned on, but things could be so much worse than a simple spanking. 

 

Until, of course, he reaches around and swiftly unbuckles my belt, unfastens my pants and shoves them, and my boxers, down to my knees. Looking in the mirror, I see that his pants are already down, and I swallow hard. Surely he’s not going to… I hear the sink come on under me, just long enough to wet his hand. His other hand comes up to my neck, pushing me down, and I readjust, my hips going back, giving him better access. When he slides into me, the water no lubrication at all, I throw my head back, a scream dying in my throat. It  _ hurts _ , beyond any pain I’ve ever felt before, and I have no idea how I don’t scream, rules or no. My eyes are drawn back to his reflection as he shakes his head slightly. I see his face drop into lines of pleasure, then his face goes blurry as tears rise in my eyes and overflow onto my cheeks. I expected punishment, but this is beyond that-this feels like he’s taken my punishment and is using it, using  _ me,  _ for his own selfish pleasure. 

 

Even so, my body responds and I almost wail when his hand closes over my own cock, jerking it with the pace he’s using to slam into me. He changes the angle of his hips as well, slamming into my prostate at the same time. I want to drop my head down, give in to the tears and bite into my arm to muffle the screams that are choking me, but I don’t. Part of me, a tiny part deep inside, says I deserve this, and I  _ will not make a sound.  _

 

When I come, it hurts, the orgasm torn from me unwillingly, and I can feel him come inside me at the same time. He gives one last thrust before pulling from me and, grabbing a hand towel, wipes himself off before laying it beside me. 

 

**Preppy, don’t you ever sass me again in front of my friends, unless you want something a bit more...painful, to happen next time. Clean yourself up and meet me downstairs.**

 

He leaves me alone then, and I turn, my body crying out in protest, to sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees and giving over to the tears. I asked for this, was sure I could handle it, but this...I feel violated, raped, my whole body aching as I shake with shock. What am I doing here? God, I should just get up and walk away right now. But I can’t, because, well, I can’t even explain it to myself. Once the tears have faded to slight hiccups, I make myself get up and make use of the hand towel. Then I pull up my pants, refastening them, and splash cold water on my face. My eyes are bloodshot, my eyeliner long gone, and every step I take is painful, but somehow, taking very careful, slow steps, I make it back downstairs to where Ravi is waiting for me. I find that I can’t even look at him now, and I keep my eyes firmly on the floor, terrified of what he might do next, if I make one misstep. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

As I made my way out of the bathroom and shut the door, my own rage hits me like a steel wall. I did the one thing that I swore I would never do, use my anger for my own pleasure. It had happened to me way too often, and I know the physical and mental pain it can cause. I felt like I had become the one thing I hated. I could feel the weight of my actions bearing down on me, and I thought about how Leo was probably feeling right now. Violated, used, assaulted, and all of those were most likely correct. My hands were shaking as I reached for the handrail, my knuckles turning white as I held on like it was a lifeline. I can feel the bile rising in the back of my throat, so I run down the stairs to the kitchen, glancing long enough to see everyone still outside and probably too high to notice anyone missing. I reach the sink just as my stomach contents retch back up and I vomit. I can feel my hands shaking harder and I can’t stop throwing up. 

 

As my stomach finally empties all of its contents, I look up through the small window above the sink. Outside is calm and serene, a stark contrast to the storm raging inside me. In a blind fury I make a fist, crashing it straight through the glass window pane. I can feel the sharp edges cutting my skin as my arm follows my hand through, but I don’t feel the pain. Dragging my arm back out, eliciting more gashes, I numbly turn and walk back to the stairs, not stopping to care for my arm. I think that if he is in as much pain as I think he is, then my own pain is worthless in comparison.

 

I am standing by the stairs, blood pouring from my hand and arm, and I hear him coming, painfully slow, down the stairs. I look up and see that his head is down, bloodshot eyes smeared with black almost closed completely. I freeze, unable to move as he comes to stand before me, fear radiating from his pores. I can’t stand it. In all the years I have been like this, I actually hate who I am at this moment.

 

**Leo. I-I’m…**

 

I can’t say anything else, so I just hand him my keys and tell him to go home.

 

**Go ahead, you can leave. I don’t really blame you, if you hate me. So, just go.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ravi's past is revealed in this chapter. Emotional, physical and sexual child abuse features heavily in this chapter, so please don't read any further if that might be triggering for you!

(Leo)

 

**Leo. I-I’m…**

 

Is he going to say he’s sorry? I feel a stab of hate. Of everything I want to hear from him right now, I probably deserve an apology most, but I swear to god, if he says he’s sorry, I’m liable to punch him, damn the rules and consequences.

 

Instead, I see him hold the keys out to me.   

 

**Go ahead, you can leave. I don’t really blame you, if you hate me. So, just go.**

 

I want to slap him, to hit him and make him hurt like he’s made me hurt, it’s true, but I don’t hate him. There’s a perfect storm of emotion roiling inside me, but it goes still and silent when I see the blood dripping from his arm. 

 

**Jesus Christ, Ravi, what did you do?**

 

I reach for him, but stop at the last second, still leery of touching him. I raise my eyes to his, knowing that what he did to me is the cause of this, that he lost control with me and this is a way of punishing himself. 

 

**Stay here, please, dammit, I’ll be right back.**

 

Biting my tongue against the pain, I turn and rush back up the stairs to the bathroom, pushing past the protesting screams of my own body. When I get there, I look around desperately. I find a clean cloth in a cabinet, and in the medicine cabinet, I hit paydirt- bandages, gauze, ointments. Grabbing a handful, I run as fast as I’m able, back down the stairs-only to find Ravi gone. In desperation, I drop the items, wondering what to do next. My only thought is finding Ravi, so I head back outside to see if the guys have seen him. Then again, a thought hits me- I don’t think he would have stayed around. I squeeze the keys in my hand, and suddenly I’m blessing Ravi for giving the keys to me. I dash for the front door, slamming it behind me and running to the Jeep. Climbing in, I bring it roaring to life, throw it in gear and gun it down the street, my eyes peeled for Ravi. He couldn’t have gotten far-right?

 

(Ra)

I don’t wait for him to get back. Instead I blindly start walking, my feet carrying me without thinking of where I ‘m going. I head out the front door, not even telling anyone I’ve left, and down the long driveway. I make it to the street, my feet dragging the toe of my shoes as  walk. Blood is still dripping from my arm, but I pay it no attention. I just have to keep walking, away from Leo and the pain I am sure that I caused. I feel light headed, but I ignore it, and keep walking. I hear something rumbling behind me, not lifting my head to see, because frankly I don’t care. The I hear it skid to a stop. I hear a car door, then feet running, and I see brown loafers in my field of vision. I can’t dare look up, I can’t bring myself to look at Leo and see the hurt, fear and pain in his eyes. I especially can’t bring myself to see the physical pain I saw on his face when he came down the stairs. 

I can feel his hands on my arms, shaking me, and I can hear his muffled voice in the distance screaming something at me. When I resign myself and look up, I see anger. Well, I deserve that much at least, and so much more. The words that come out of my mouth surprise even me.

 

**Hit me. Just go on and fucking hit, kick, whatever. Run me over with the damn jeep.**

 

Then I fall silent. He has to understand, I have to try to make him understand why I am the way I am. But, I don’t know how to tell him, don’t know if I am capable of telling him.

 

**What I did was wrong Leo. Completely and irrevocably wrong. I am a fucked up person, I tried to warn you. But I think you need to know why.**

  
  


(Leo)

 

I drive the jeep a half mile down the road before spinning around in a tight u-turn. He couldn’t have made it this far in the few minutes he’s been gone, so I must be going to wrong way. I gun it down the street, and he finally comes into view, walking slowly, methodically, blood still dripping from his arm. He walks like someone possessed, and I’m worried almost sick when I pull the jeep over, throwing it in park before I jump out and run over to him. I grab his arms, shaking him gently. 

 

**Ravi, Ravi, please, look at me. Talk to me. Please!**

 

When he finally looks up at me, I’m struck with a dart of anger all over again. My body is in pain and I am mad, but the look on his face kills it. But what he says has my jaw dropping in shock. 

 

**Hit me. Just go on and fucking hit, kick, whatever. Run me over with the damn jeep.**

 

His voice is low, and full of...Resignation, and a dead sound that rips at me. As if he genuinely doesn’t care if I killed him, right here in the street. There’s something more here, something much deeper than how he treated me earlier. I want to know, want to ask, but I feel he’s as tense as a deer ready to flee, so I don’t say anything. 

 

**What I did was wrong Leo. Completely and irrevocably wrong. I’m a fucked up person, I tried to warn you. But I think you need to know why.**

 

I only nod, bringing one hand up, slowly, to cup his cheek. 

 

**Ok. Ok, Ravi. We can talk about it. But not here, in the middle of the street, ok? Let’s go home, let me take care of your arm, and we can talk about it. Alright?**

  
  


(Ra)

 

I know his hand is on my cheek, but I am so numb right now, I can't feel it. I don't want him to be kind to me, I don't deserve any of it. But I can feel my head getting fuzzy while I stand here losing blood and buzzed from the earlier alcohol. I nod my head and let him lead me to the Jeep. I crawl into the passenger seat, Leo buckling the seatbelt across my chest. He hops in the driver's seat and throws the car into drive. We sped home, Leo running a red light or two, I think. 

 

He nearly slides into the driveway, throws the car in park and turns off the engine. Any other time, I would have been highly impressed with his abilities, but right now I didn't even know I am in the world. He pulls me down, and for some stupid reason I put up a fight. Subconsciously, I know he is trying to help me, trying to take care of me, even after what I did to him. That reason alone is what brings the words coming.

 

**Leo, just leave me alone! Why in the hell are you even doing this? If I were you, I would have shot me the first chance I got. Just walk away and don't look back.**

 

But he just ignores me, taking me by my good arm and hauling me inside. Pushing me down into a kitchen chair, he rummaged through the house getting supplies to clean my arm and hand.

 

I wince when he starts to scrub my arm, and I think he finds a sliver of joy in causing me pain, as he keeps doing it. Glass shards are pulled out, rubbing alcohol poured over every cut, and I can't help but yelp from the sting. I see him smile at me, enjoying my own discomfort. Good, I'm glad he is, I deserve far more torture than he could ever give me.

 

Once he had me cleaned up and bandaged, he pours me a drink, either to numb the pain or prepare me for what I am going to tell him.

He sits down on the chair across the table from me, and waits for me to speak, his hands flat on the table.

 

(Leo)

 

It seems like forever before Ravi nods, letting me know that he’ll let me help him. I guide him carefully to the jeep, opening the door and helping him climb in. I fasten his seatbelt before rounding the car and sliding back into the driver’s seat. I speed home, judging it safe run a couple of red lights, to hell with the tickets I’ll probably get in the mail later. I drift the car into the drive, like a professional driver, before jumping out and going to help him out. I unsnap the belt and pull him gently toward me, only to find myself with a handful of pissed and hurt Ravi. He fights tooth and nail and I’m hard pressed to keep him from hurting either one of us. While he’s fighting with me, he’s shouting at me. 

 

**Leo, just leave me alone! Why in the hell are you even doing this? If I were you, I would have shot me the first chance I got. Just walk away and don’t look back.**

 

My heart breaks a little for him. What had happened to him that I didn’t know, that would cause so much pain and make him believe he was unloveable? I was determined to find out. I took his good arm and simply drug him inside to the kitchen, where I sat him firmly in a chair. 

 

**Sit. And stay this time, dammit.**

 

I meant it, but there was no heat in my words. I went around the house, searching for supplies to care for his arm. When I’d found all I thought I might need, I returned to dump it all on the table. I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it carefully off, trying not to hurt him. Once he was naked from the waist up, I took a wet cloth and began to wipe the blood from the skin. It had dried somewhat, which meant I had to scrub a little, but I tried to be gentle. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit satisfied every time he winced. 

 

Once the blood was mostly gone, I took a pair of tweezers and pulled slivers of glass from the cuts before dousing his whole arm with alcohol. I’m sure it burned like hell, but best to do it all at once and get the pain over with. I couldn’t help but smile a little when he yelped, but instantly felt bad. I grabbed the roll of gauze and wrapped his arm, taping it when I’d covered all the cuts and scrapes. Then I poured him a drink, handing it to him before taking my own seat across the table from him. I put my hands palm down on the table, looking at him expectantly, and waited for him to speak. 

  
  


(Ra)

I take a long drink from the glass, feeling the burn as it makes its way down. I look at him, then close my eyes.

 

**What I'm about to tell you, I have told to no one else. If you want to leave after hearing this, I wouldn't blame you one bit. Hello I wouldn't blame you for leaving now, after what I did to you.**

 

I wait for any sign of response, but get none, so I continue.

 

**My life was normal growing up, until I was fourteen. My parents split up, and I chose to go with my dad. I knew my dad drank, and I knew, at least I thought I knew, that he did drugs occasionally. Mom was a whore, harsh I know but true, so she was never around anyway. For the first month or two, things were great, there was no arguing, no yelling, nothing. One night, dad comes home drunk and high out of his mind. He had two women with him, not much older than I was, who were just as high if not more so. I went to my room, shutting out the sounds of dad screwing one or both of them. I fell asleep, only to, be awakened by my dad’s hands on my chest, holding me down and screaming in my face, spit flying.**

 

**Son, its about time you learn how to be a man! Learn how to please a woman!**

 

**My dad held me down while that whore of a woman took my clothes off and gave me a blow job. Being young and hormonal I couldn’t keep myself from getting hard, even though I tried. I was screaming at my dad to get off of me, but he wouldn’t let me go. Then she climbed on top of me and fucked herself on my dick. My dad watching the entire time, laughing and telling me I was going to be a man. After that night, I locked my door, only to have him bust it down one night, him and another woman coming in. This time she held me down by sitting on my chest while my own fucking dad jacked me and sucked me off, all the while the woman was trying to kiss me. I screamed, I begged, but nothing could stop them. It stopped for about a month, and I was finally able to breath at night and try to sleep. As I slept one night, for the first time in weeks, my dad came in, flipped me in the bed and pinned me down while he raped me. I had never felt such pain in my life. He kept going until he got off, then punched me for not being good enough.**

 

**I’M gonna teach you boy, how to please anyone who wants you. You hear me boy, i’m gonna train you up right. Make my friends happy for me.**

 

**The abuse didn’t stop. Men and women, I never knew who would would be next, would be brought home by my dad, to use me for his pleasure and for drugs. This went on for two years. Two fucking long and hellish years. During all of this, I still tried to go to school, not really succeeding at it. Then I met a girl, about my age, who seemed to care about me. She didn’t know about what was happening at home, and we started dating. She would try to get me to have sex, but I always refused. I didn’t care that at home I was in hell, because she showed me some from of affection that I had been craving for so long. Thing was, her uncle was one of the men that came over to ‘play’ with me. When he saw me with her one day, he told her how good of a fuck I was. She told everyone at the school, leaving me because I disgusted her. I ran away from home that day and never looked back. I swore to myself that I would never let anyone get close to me, I would never allow myself to fall in love, and I definitely would never let anyone ever control me again. I have been this way now since I was eighteen, and I have never looked back. I still have nightmares, I have to rein in my anger more times than I can count on a daily basis, and I swore I would never do the exact thing I did to you tonight. I became the monster that I hate.**

  
  


After the words flowed freely, I couldn’t stop. By the end I was crying like a baby, the raw pain I felt in the beginning came flooding back and I was once again a broken, scared, and angry fourteen year old boy. I couldn’t bare to look at Leo, for fear that he would look at me with the same disgust as my dad, his friends, and that girl. I buried my head in my hands and let the sobs rack my body. The silence from Leo was deafening, and for the first time in almost ten years I felt fear.

  
  


(Leo)

 

The words, once they started coming, became a flood. I only sat, listening to Ravi pour out the horrors of his past. The more he talked the sicker I felt myself become, and the more angry. Each time I thought it couldn’t get worse, there was something more terrible to say. When he finished, I could only stare at him, his head buried in his hands, shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs. I bit my lip, wondering if I should do what I really wanted to do, regardless of what would happen. I felt the moment stretch tight, until it reached its breaking point. 

 

And suddenly I leapt from my chair, rounding the table and grabbing Ravi from the chair, hauling him up against me, my arms coming around him. I pulled him tight to me, as if I could heal him just from the force of my holding him. Tears fell from my eyes onto his hair as I cried for all the pain he’d had to face in his youth. I wasn’t sure I could speak, but I forced the words out. 

 

**Ravi, I’m so, so, sorry. I’m so sorry you had to endure all that. No child should ever, ever, experience even a thousandth of what you lived through. But it’s in the past, and you’re here now, and you’re stronger than you’ve ever been. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine, you hear me? I’m tougher than you give me credit for. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here for you.**

 

I dropped a kiss on his head, yet another risk, and just stood holding him, waiting to see how he would react. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

I heard the chair scoot back from the table, but it didn’t register anything until I felt Leo pull me up from my chair.and wrap me up in his arms. His face was wet, but I didn’t know that he was crying, I only knew that I was being hugged, something I don’t normally do. My defense mechanism kicked in and I tensed, but couldn’t move away. 

 

Why was he apologizing? Why was he sorry, let alone sorry for me?

 

**Don’t worry about me, I’m fine, you hear me? I’m tougher than you give me credit for. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here for you.**

 

How can he say he’s fine? I remember that exact pain I made him feel. Why would he stay here after everything I did to him and after hearing my story? I can’t comprehend the why of it all. I lift my head to look at him, his own eyes filled with tears, again because of me, and I couldn’t see why?

 

**Why? Why are you still here? I am a fucked-in-the-head monster that just violated you in the worst possible way. Why would you want to stay with me after all of this? Can’t you see that I’m not good for you, that I’m not capable of what you deserve?**

 

I tried to push him away, but he stood his place, not letting go of me. I could fight his embrace, so I gave in, wrapping my arms around him, body shaking with fear of my first real embrace in forever.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize it's been a couple of weeks-far too long, in my opinion-since the last update and I apologize profusely for that!! Sometimes life (and a BTS concert!! :D ) get in the way, but I'm back and motivated now, so I'll be updating this story on Mondays (including tomorrow) until it's all posted. A huge thanks to everyone who has read/commented/left kudos. We write for you guys, and we love when you give us love back. You guys are what keep us going! Anyway, enough sappiness, on to the fic!! :D

(Leo)

 

**Why? Why are you still here? I am a fucked-in-the-head monster that just violated you in the worst possible way. Why would you want to stay with me after all of this? Can’t you see that I’m not good for you, that I’m not capable of what you deserve?**

 

I shook my head against his hair. 

 

**Hush, Ravi. You’re not a monster. You have some things to deal with, but doesn’t everyone? Your problems may be worse than others, but not so bad as some. As for “violating” me, I think that’s something we’ll need to talk about, to make sure it doesn’t happen again. And that last bit...Why don’t you let me decide what I deserve?**

 

I took a deep, shuddering breath, everything in me screaming at me not to open my mouth again, to leave things where they rested now, but I couldn’t stop myself anymore than I could stop the tide from rising. 

 

**Dammit, Ravi, I made you a promise, and I’ve tried to stick by it but I just can’t… Ravi, I love you.**

 

There. I’d said it. I couldn’t take it back now and I hoped to God that he wouldn’t do something that would make me regret taking this chance. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

**Ravi, I love you.**

 

I couldn’t move. I made him promise that this wouldn’t happen, he assured me that this wouldn’t happen. How did this happen? 

 

**Leo, you promised me you wouldn’t. I can’t give you that. I can’t love you back. I don’t think I will ever be able to love someone. Dammit, Leo.**

 

I pulled my body back from his hug, shaking my head. I don’t deserve him, and definitely don’t deserve his love. I have a sinking feeling that if I can’t love him back he is going to leave, just like everyone else, and I’ll be alone again. But, then again, maybe if I am capable of doing what I did to him, I should be alone.

 

**Leo, I’m sorry. Sorry for what I did, sorry for not being able to return your feelings. I’m sorry that I didn’t meet you ten years ago, before my life was twisted and torn. I’m sorry.**

  
  


I don’t want him to leave. I want him to stay, I want to find a way to make up for what I did, show him that I can be good enough for him as I am, even if I can’t love him, I can be enough for him. Maybe, just maybe, we could make something work.

  
  


**Leo, even if I can’t return your feelings for me, do you really want to stay with me?**

  
  


(Leo)

 

He kept saying he was sorry, even though he had nothing to be sorry for. I knew it was way early for me to say those three words, even though I’d promised there’d be no feelings involved in what we had. Sometimes, you can’t help who you fall in love with. 

 

**Hush, Ravi. You don’t have to love me, or even say it if you do. I don’t mean to try and push you into anything at all. I’ll give you time, and who knows what might happen in the future? As for staying with you, of course I want to. But, I do think we need to go back over the rules. I mean, if you still want that kind of relationship with me.**

 

I locked eyes with him, holding his gaze to see what he would say. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

Did I still want the same type of relationship with him? I have only known this kind of arrangement for the past six years, and before that I had only had one sort of real relationship. I don’t even know if I know how to have a normal relationship. What if I never fall in love with him, would he want to stay? There are so many fucking what-ifs running around in my brain that I can’t think straight. So, needless to say, my mouth gets away from me.

**I-I really don’t know how to do relationships? But, if you can be patient with me, knowing that I may never fall in love with you, then maybe I might be willing to try something a little more… normal, for your sake.**

 

Actually saying those words out loud had me nearly sinking to my knees. I could give it a try, but for some unknown reason, I was okay with it because of him.

  
  


(Leo)

 

**I-I really don’t know how to do relationships? But, if you can be patient with me, knowing that I may never fall in love with you, then maybe I might be willing to try something a little more… normal, for your sake.**

 

I nodded. I could work with that. I wasn’t giving totally up on some of the things that I thought Ravi might like, that might feel “normal” to him, and at the same time, teach him how to have a more stable relationship. As for him loving me, well, I honestly couldn’t say that he would ever get to that point, but I was invested in what we had, even if it meant my love would always be one-sided. 

 

**Ok, Ravi. We can do this. We just have to figure out where we want to start.**

  
  


(Ra) 

I looked at him with such a curiosity. He was either stupid for wanting to give us a chance or he really did love me. This kid is going to get under my skin, I can feel it. Not necessarily in a bad way, but just in a way I’m not used to. I put my forehead to his, and just relax into the embrace he is giving me. It still scares the hell out of me, but I need to learn that this is a good thing, not someone holding me down for some sick reason.

 

Kissing his forehead, I lean back studying his face. He looks hurt, scared, and sad all at the same time. It was like looking at myself in the mirror. I wanted to kiss him, but was afraid that it would be too soon after everything that has happened tonight, so I wriggled my way out of his arms and sat back down.

 

**Okay Leo, this is a whole new territory for me, so I need you tell me what normal is in a relationship. Remember, we are building this from the ground up.**

 

It was going to take baby steps, tons of patience, and even more forgiveness to even begin learning that what I like isn’t going to be an everyday thing for me. I am terrified of letting someone else control even a miniscule part of my life. I am hoping he will understand if I freak out on him or shut down. I wait for him to think things over, then he sits down across from me. He starts to explain what ‘normal’ actual is.

 

(Leo)

 

I keep holding Ravi for a few more minutes, until he kisses my forehead and wiggles. Only then do I release him. He sinks down into his chair and then speaks. 

 

**Okay Leo, this is a whole new territory for me, so I need you tell me what normal is in a relationship. Remember, we are building this from the ground up.**

 

I know that this is difficult territory for him, and there are so many things he needs to know, some of which are so second nature for me that explaining might be difficult. I sigh, reclaiming my seat, and try to think. Then I have an idea. 

 

**I think we should do this as a Q &A. There are just so many things that make up a “normal”relationship that I'm not sure I'd cover them all if I just tried to tell you about them. So, if you can think of any questions, now's the time to ask. Remember, nothing is too insignificant. **

 

I reach across the table, my fingers brushing his hand reassuringly, and I smile at him, just a little, to encourage him. 

  
  


(Ra) 

Wow, I must have a lot to learn. I think for a minute, the feel of his fingers on mine giving me a bit of courage to start our Q and A session.

 

**Is there one person in the relationship that does most of the, not controlling, but like the final say-so on things? Or is it more mutual, as in they kind of switch back and forth?**

 

**Also, does one person have to ask for sex each and every time?**

 

My eyes go wide with worry at the last question, I ‘ve never asked any of my partners for permission, they always gave when I wanted.

  
  


(Leo)

**To answer your first question, decisions that are made that affect both people in the relationship are usually discussed and a decision reached. It's a give and take. Say for example, we were trying to choose where to go for dinner. You want seafood, I want steak. We talk about it, maybe one of us decides to go where the other wants this time, and next time we go where the other wants. Or, we wind up going somewhere that offers what we both want.**

 

I take a breath, then move on to his second question. 

 

**Asking for sex… Usually, one initiates and the other agrees, or maybe not. There's no one set person who asks each and every time. But, with us, would you feel more comfortable asking? Or should I just be on guard for you to tell me we're having sex?**

 

I shoot him a grin to let him know I'm playing. Sex with Ravi is an exciting but changeable thing, and just the thought of it, not knowing if it could be rough or gentle, gives it an unknown edge I find thrilling. I shake my head to clear these thoughts and let him continue. 

 

(Ra) 

 

So, Leo is allowed to initiate, that could be interesting. But…

 

**I don't think I will be initiating, any time soon. I am still worried about hurting you more than I already have tonight. I'll let you decide when you're ready.**

 

That was hard to say! I never used to wait for anything.

 

**Okay. Got it. Umm, next question. Do you still want to stay in your room? Is it normal to have your own room, or do you want to stay in mine. No one has been in my bed, so it may take some getting used to. Oh, and that brings another question, can we use the playroom, ever?**

 

I hope he understands that I want to try this out, but I still have some deep seated need to control some things.

 

(Leo)

 

I fix Ravi with my most serious look. 

 

**I'll understand, after today, if you don't initiate for a while. I'm fine, I promise, but I won't try and push you into having sex again until you're ready.**

 

I'm serious, and I think he'll need to hear it over and over in the next few days, until he's sure I'm telling the truth about being OK. 

 

**Next… I think I will keep my room, just because it's already set up. But, Ravi, if you ever want me to share your bed, even if it's just to sleep, all you have to do is say so. But your room is your sanctuary, and I won't come in without permission. I promise.**

 

**As for the playroom… I don't think we'll have a problem there. I'm really curious about it, and I'd like to see just exactly what you have in there, and up your sleeve.**

 

I feel my cheeks heat up as I say this. But it's true-part of me is dying to know what everything in that room is used for. And how he would use it on me. 

 

(Ra) 

This is going to be a process, a long process. But I am willing to give it a try, if anything, to see if I am capable of it. Sitting back, I realize that I am exhausted. I am sure Leo is too, we've been through a lot today. I stretch my limbs, my injured arm throbbing at the movement. 

 

**Let's go to bed, we're both tired and have been through a lot, let's give it a go tomorrow.**

 

Leo gets up, turning to the hall, and for his room.

 

I don't know if he'll say yes or not, but I want to ask, either answer being okay.

 

**Umm, Leo? Would you be willing to stay in my room tonight, just to sleep? It's okay if your don't want to, I'd completely understand.**

 

Taking a deep breath, I hold it in, waiting for his answer.

  
  


(Leo)

 

When Ravi suggests we go to bed, it hits me just how exhausted I am. Nodding, I rise to my feet, turning to head down the hall to my room. His voice comes, so soft I almost miss it. 

 

**Umm, Leo? Would you be willing to stay in my room tonight, just to sleep? It's okay if your don't want to, I'd completely understand.**

 

I freeze, then turn slowly back to face him, my lips curving. 

 

**OK, Ravi. I'll grab my pyjamas from my room and meet you in there, OK?**

 

I don't know how I got so lucky as to have him ask for me to stay with him tonight, but I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. I hurry down the hallway to grab my clothes, excited and apprehensive at the same time. 

 

(Ra) 

 

I am nervous as hell when he agrees to stay in my room.  I rise up slowly, heading to my room. My sanctuary that had never been shared. I change into my pyjama pants, leaving my shirt off. I sit on the edge of the bed, practically hyperventilating as my nerves get the best of me. 

 

When Leo walls back in, I give him a nervous smile. I feel like an idiot, anxious about the idea of just sleeping in the same bed as him and not doing  _ something _ other than sleeping. 

 

I scoot over to my side, pulling the covers back for both of us. He sits down and swings his legs over. Laying my head on the pillow, I face him, just looking at his face. I have a thousand things running through my head, one of them being the thought of feeling my arms around him in an innocent jester of needing security. 

 

Once we are both settled, I am apprehensive as I drape an arm around his waist. I know he can feel how tense I am, but slowly, cautiously, I relax into the sensation. So, this is what it's like to cuddle with someone? Very strange to me, but I think I can get used to this.

 

I fall asleep, my bandaged arm laying across his body, and for the first time in I don't know how long, have no nightmares.

 

(Leo)

 

I grab my pyjama pants in a rush, toeing off my shoes as I do so, then heading to Ravi’s room in a breathless rush. It's only when I reach his bedroom door that I slow down, keenly aware that this is completely new for him, and I need to go slowly. 

 

I open the door and step into the room to find him scooting to one side of the bed. I give him a little smile as I close the door behind me and slip my clothes off. My eyes never leave him, and I make sure I never wince as I change. I don't want to do anything to remind him of today, even if my body is still sore. 

 

He pulls the covers back when I'm dressed, and I slide in next to him, laying on my side to face him. I tuck one hand under my pillow, and bring the other up against my chest. I want to reach out and lay my arm over his waist, but I don't know how he'll react, so I simply wait for him to make a move. 

 

When his arm slides slowly around my waist, I feel a sense of triumph. My arm slips across the sheets and curls around his waist, and I hug him protectively. I watch as he drifts off to sleep, and only then do I close my own eyes and join him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the first in a weekly update schedule! You're all very welcome, and I hope you enjoy! Hopefully life won't be quite so in the way from now on. Now, to the fic! :D

(Ra) 

 

I wake with a start, disoriented a bit, when  realize that Leo is in my bed. I can feel his arms around me and mine around him. I instinctively want to get out on the entangled embrace before I remember that I was the one that asked him to stay in here. I settle back down, rewrapping my arm around him. 

 

This feel strange, but weirdly nice. The last time I felt like this was… I don’t remember actually. I had never had someone care for me enough to want to be around me, even when I didn’t think I  deserved it. I think he deserves someone who can love him, give him what he wants, no needs, but if he is willing to stay knowing that it may not happen, then I can work with that.

 

I bend my head down, kissing the top of his head as he snuggles closer into my arms. Closing my eyes, I let myself fall back into a deep sleep.

 

My alarm goes off way too early, and I reach to turn it off. Leo is practically laying on top of me, and I have to maneuver my body just so, in the attempt to not wake him. I can feel my morning wood tight in my pants, but I don’t want to start anything knowing that, even though he tried to hide it last night, he was still in some pain. My heart sinks when I think about it again. So, I just lie there, mind saying one thing, body saying another, and take slow deep breaths. I feel his breath fanning across my chest, his arm low on my waist, and I can’t take it anymore. I try to slide out from under him, just to give myself some reprieve. But his arm tightens, keeping me pinned against his warm body.

  
  


Dammit Leo, why are you doing this, even in your sleep, when I don’t want to feel like this yet? I sigh heavily, resigned to letting him hold me.

 

(Leo)

  
  


I wake slowly when I hear the buzz of an alarm, but when I remember where I am, I let it go. I feel Ravi shift, and the alarm stops. He lays wedged under me for a few minutes, then shifts again, trying to pull away. I make a low noise of protest in my throat and tighten my arm, keeping him close to me. His body is warm against mine, which feels nice in the cool morning air, and his chest makes a surprisingly comfortable pillow. I don’t want him to leave me just yet. 

 

I open my eyes when I feel him tense, moving just my head so I can look up at him. I keep my eyes half-shut, knowing it makes me look sleepy, and I’m angling to keep him in bed with me as long as I possibly can before we absolutely have to get up. 

 

**Good morning.**

 

The huskiness of my voice isn’t faked, and I smile slightly at him. I know just how wrecked I look in the morning, and I have to admit, I’m enjoying using it to try and tease him. I sigh and stretch, keenly aware of each place our bodies touch. At the same time, I take stock of how I feel. There’s a vague soreness, which probably means no sex for a few days, which Ravi probably doesn’t want anyway. Still, yesterday had no lasting effect on my cock, which is hard, and not just because I always wake up that way. I feel a flutter of want in my stomach, and I have to confess to Ravi. 

 

**Are you going to get up soon? Because, well, I have a morning routine, and it usually involved jacking off. You don’t have to stay for that, if it makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s up to you.**

 

(Ra)

Well shit, I really want to stay, but if I do, well then, we all know what might happen. But then again, if he is trying to tease me, then why not change things up a bit, see how comfortable I would be if I let him take the reins for once. I had never been on the submissive side and wondered how it would feel. I swallow hard, and I can see Leo is taking pleasure in teasing me right now.

 

**I-umm, could stay, but only if you want me to. I’m fine with watching, um, you do that.**

  
  
  


(Leo)

 

I’m actually surprised when Ravi agrees to stay, but I’m not going to second guess it. I kick the covers off, even though I usually like the privacy they afford me. Only now, I don’t have to worry about Hakyeon walking in on me, and I want to feel Ravi’s eyes on me. 

 

I slide my pyjamas down just far enough to free my cock from the waistband, and then I lock my eyes on Ravi as I wrap my fingers slowly around my length. I stroke softly, teasing myself a little, loving the soft glide of my fingertips. I lick my lips, still watching Ravi’s face, each little change in expression sending a spark of lightning to my cock. It won’t be long at this pace until I come. The thought has me stroking harder, alternating the strength of my grip as my palm moves up and down. I make sure to rub just under the head with each upstroke, and I feel my orgasm building like a distant storm. 

  
  


(Ra)

Watching him, as he pulls his pants down and his fully erect cock falls free to lay heavy on his stomach, I am mesmerized. Sure I have watched someone do this before, many times, but watching him, in my bed, sends all my blood rushing to my crotch and I am instantly aroused, big time.

 

As he wraps his long fingers around himself, I follow his lead, grasping my own. As he makes long languid strokes up and down, I match my pace to his. I watch as his eyes close briefly as he enjoys the feeling as he alternates the intensity of his grip. I have to squeeze my cock hard in order not to get off before I even really get started. A soft moan comes out past his lips, and I pump myself a little faster. I want him, badly, but I know he is still a bit sore, and I whine audibly at my predicament. I want to feel him inside of me, filling me up completely and pleasuring himself at the same time.

 

**Fuck, Leo! Either get yourself off or fucking take me right now.**

 

I can’t believe I just said that, so I added one more word to assuage my need.

 

**Please.**

 

(Leo)

 

**Fuck, Leo! Either get yourself off or fucking take me right now.**

 

My hand stops mid-stroke as my eyes rove over his face. Pulling my hand from my cock, I prop myself up on my elbow, bringing us face to face. If he’s serious… My stomach swoops, and I wait until his eyes are fixed firmly on mine. 

 

**Jesus, Ravi. Are you sure? If you are, get the lube. I want to watch you open yourself for me, if you’re willing.**

 

I watch him to see if he’ll actually go through with it. 

 

(Ra)

 

**Jesus, Ravi. Are you sure? If you are, get the lube. I want to watch you open yourself for me, if you’re willing.**

 

I leave no room for hesitation as I reach behind me and fumble in the night stand. Finding the lube, blindly I might add, I grab it and bring it around. Keeping my eyes trained on Leo, I open the cap, coat my fingers, and throw the tube somewhere to be found later. I bend my knees up, reaching between my legs, swiping my fingers across my entrance only to tease myself. Once I have slickened my hole, I slide my middle finger in, slowly pumping myself in and out. I can feel my walls stretch around my finger and I twist it in small circles to coat my insides. Then I take another finger, joining the first and scissor them to open myself wider. I can’t help the breathy moan that escapes me as I imagine the way Leo is going to feel when he’s deep inside me, stretching me more than I can do myself. 

 

I continue to fuck my ass with my fingers, grinding my hips down on my hand. I need him, soon, or else I am going to come undone in no time.

 

**Please Leo, please.**

 

I can’t say anything more, but my eyes are pleading with his.

 

(Leo)

 

If dominant Ravi is amazing, then needy Ravi is breathtaking. I can hardly blink, wanting to watch every move his hand made as he used his fingers to stretch himself open for me. His eyes are locked on my face, and I keep glancing from his entrance to those pupil-blown orbs. I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from coming when he moans, and if he doesn’t hurry, I’m afraid this won’t last past the next few seconds. 

 

But then he’s begging me, and my god, he would tempt a saint. 

 

**Please Leo, please.**

 

Luckily for me, I noticed where he’d tossed the lube moments ago, and reach to the end of the bed, my fingers closing around cool plastic. I don’t even look at what I’m doing, fumbling with the cap until it snaps open. I pour a liberal amount onto my palm and hiss as I slick my cock, making sure to use more than I probably need, but I don’t want to hurt Ravi. Then, I’m moving up over him, my hands guiding his legs up onto my shoulders. He’s beyond amazing like this, spread out below me, wanting me, needing me, and he’s so vulnerable that it makes my heart ache. I contort myself so I can brush a kiss across his lips, whispering against them. 

 

**Are you ready for me?**

 

(Ra)

I feel vulnerable, briefly my mind flashes back in time, but then I remember that it’s Leo, no one else, and I want him. Badly. I close my eyes slowly, them open them to look into his eyes, he is my anchor in this moment, and I am holding on for dear life as I give in to letting him wreck me. I nod my head as I whisper.

 

**Yes, I’m ready for you to make me yours.**

  
  
  


(Leo)

 

I see the flash of fear in his eyes, remember what he told me last night, but as soon as it comes, it’s gone. I breath deep, glad to know he’s keeping his mind firmly here. On me. 

 

**Yes, I’m ready for you to make me yours.**

 

I groan softly at the soft words. If he’s not careful, he’s going to make me come before I’m even inside him. I angle my hips, bringing my cock to line up with his entrance, then push past the ring of muscle, sliding slowly but surely in until I’m fully seated inside him. 

 

My head falls back and I moan, a long, drawn-out sound. He feels so  _ good,  _ his tight, hot walls clenching around me, and when my head drops forward, I pant, trying not to come just from the sensation of him around me. 

 

**T-tell me, when I can move.**

 

I choke the words out, wanting him to have some control. I don’t want to just take from him, I want him to get some pleasure from this as well. So I wait for his ok. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

**T-tell me, when I can move.**

 

I wait until I can sense him seated deep within my walls, and I angle my hips just so, adjusting to his girth. The stretch feel heavenly, just the right mixture of pain and pleasure, and I almost cum just then. He stills himself, waiting for me to give the okay, for him to move. I savor this feeling for just a moment, then nod my head.

 

**Mo-move, God, please move!**

 

I reach up and grab his forearms, gripping them tight to ground myself in the sensation of him taking me over the edge.

 

(Leo)

 

**Mo-move, God, please move!**

 

His hands wrap around my arms, and I nod, pulling my hips back, sliding from his body, which grips me even tighter, trying to keep me inside him. Once I’m mostly outside his body, I thrust forward, the sensation leaving me gasping as he draws me back in. 

 

**Oh, my god, Ravi, baby, you feel so good!**

 

I don’t mean to say anything, but once my mouth opens, I can hardly stop myself. 

 

**You’re so good for me, baby. You feel incredible. So hot and tight and all mine.**

 

I punctuate each word of praise with a searching thrust, until I can tell by his reaction that I hit his prostate head on. I keep thrusting, my pace picking up, as I aim to have him fall apart for me. 

 

(Ra)

I nearly scream as he pulls almost completely out of me, only to slam back hard, moving my body back with the force of his thrust. His voice is thick as honey as words of praise and adoration flow from his lips. His pace quickens and I push my hips down and arch my back trying to get him as deep as he can go, and he hits my prostate with every blow. I can feel that familiar tingle and heat building low in my gut, and I can’t stop it from rising quickly.

 

**Shit- shi- Leo. I-I-don’t stop! I-I’m, fuck! I’m coming. Ah-, LEO!!!**

 

My walls clench around him as I shoot white hot thick cum onto my stomach, my cock twitching with each shot. My nails dig into his arms, and I scream his name like a lion’s growl. Loud and unhindered. I come undone around him, his cock still pumping me fast and hard.

  
  


(Leo)

 

He rolls his hips into each thrust, his body arching. He is so beautiful like this. I know he’s about to come, as his walls flutter around me, and suddenly he’s spilling broken words. 

 

**Shit- shi- Leo. I-I-don’t stop! I-I’m, fuck! I’m coming. Ah-, LEO!!!**

 

Him screaming my name is what pushes me over the edge, and the image that will forever be ingrained in my memory, of him coming, untouched, onto his stomach. I howl as I come, filling him up, his name a loud cry ripped from me. 

 

**Raaaviiiii!!**

 

My orgasm seems to last forever before it recedes, leaving me breathless and shaking. I gaze down at Ravi, his eyes hooded, body covered with a thin sheen of sweat, and all I can think is that I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful. My heart swells with feeling, and I drop my head, whispering under my breath, unsure even now if I want him to hear. 

 

**I love you, Ravi. I love you so, so much.**

 

I hardly notice the pair of tears that pool in my eyes, cling to my lashes, and fall. 

 

(Ra)

The way he lets my name come from somewhere deep inside him, strikes me with an unfamiliar feeling. Holding my breath, I watch him come unhinged, his body shaking with his release. He lowers his head, brining it within inches of mine, and I feel two drops fall on my chest as he whispers under his panting breath.

 

**I love you, Ravi. I love you so, so much.**

 

I have never had anyone tell me that, I have never heard it said with that much emotion and passion. I squeeze my eyes shut, unsure of this pull tugging at my chest. It almost physically hurts, and I fight with myself internally to push it away. 

 

**I know, Leo. I know.**

 

It pains me that I can’t return his heart. Hopefully though, he knows that I want him, however that want may be. He pulls out of me falling to his side on the bed next to me. We are both panting heavily, our hearts racing. I roll over, kissing him with barely a brush of my lips to his. 

 

I tear myself away, turning over so he can’t see the regretful pain in my eyes that I can’t love him back. Or can I ? Is this feeling I have possibly love? Yes, I care for him, an insurmountable amount, but can I call it love? I get up and head to the bathroom, feeling awful that I just left him there after what we just experienced together. I close the door, sliding down as I let my own tears spill over. I am torn, torn in half, by the storm of emotions that are raging inside me. I cry out low enough that hopefully Leo doesn’t hear.

 

**Help me. Help me feel something, anything.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut!! :D You're welcome!! And...dun dun dun!!! (You'll understand at the end!)
> 
> Also, I'm so, so sorry for not posting this update yesterday as scheduled, but sometimes life has a funny way of getting in the way! So, anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it a day late!! :D

(Leo)

 

**I know, Leo. I know.**

 

I can feel what it costs him to say that, and any acknowledgement of my words makes me happy. He doesn’t have to say it now, or ever-I meant it when I said I’d love him not matter what. I withdraw from him with a hiss, rolling onto my side of the bed, and for a moment there’s only the sound of our panting. Then he swings his legs over the edge of the bed, and I can feel him pulling away from me, emotionally as well as physically. I reach out, skimming my fingertips down his back, but he only stands and walks to the bathroom. The door shuts behind him with a click, and it’s a deafening sound. There’s silence for a moment, and then I hear him. My heart rips in half a the raw pain in his voice. 

 

**Help me. Help me feel something, anything.**

 

In a flash, I’m up off the bed, rushing to the bathroom door. I want to fling it open but at the last second think better of it, and simply tap on the wood. 

 

**Ravi? Baby, are you ok? Open the door, let me in. Please.**

 

(Ra)

 

I hear the knocking and I hear Leo asking me to let him in. Shit, he did hear me. I don’t even try to get up as I open the door, just enough for him to slide in. Once he enters, I pull his hand down, bringing him to join me on the floor. I throw my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. I need him, more that I want to admit. I need his strength and assurance in us, that we can make this work. I simply need and want him. I want to experience something with him, and I think I actually am. The more I realize it, the more scared I become.

 

**Say it again. I want to hear it. Tell me you love me.**

 

(Leo)

 

He opens the door to me after a moment, his body blocking it so that I have to squeeze in. He’s curled up in a sitting position on the floor, and he reaches up to grab my hand, pulling me down to him. His arms wrap around my neck, and he buries his face in my shoulder. He’s crying, tiny sobs making his shoulders shake, so I simply wrap my arms around him, content to hold him and croon soothingly to him, my body swaying gently. After a while, he pulls back, just far enough to look at me. 

  
  


**Say it again. I want to hear it. Tell me you love me.**

 

There’s no hesitation as I smile, repeating myself. 

 

**I love you, Ravi. I love you. So, so much. So much it hurts.**

 

I lean down, kissing him softly, but not closing my eyes. I want to watch him. I want to see every movement he makes. 

  
  


(Ra)

 

**I love you, Ravi. I love you. So, so much. So much it hurts.**

 

It hits me with a wicked force. He loves me, despite my flaws, despite who I am. It pains him as much as it pains me, the way his heart breaks for me. 

 

There are three words that I haven’t spoken since I was very little, three words I haven’t heard since then. They are not part of my vocabulary, and I honestly don’t know if my tongue can form them, but I try nonetheless. I cup his face in my hands when he kisses me, making myself look him in the eyes, both of us crying like fools. I take a deep calming breath, forming the words in my mind before I from them with my lips.

 

**Leo, I am scared to death when I think of saying this. I need you to keep me grounded. Thank you for giving this crazy screwed up guy a chance at being loved. I don’t think I deserve it, but you think I do.**

 

I kiss him tenderly, just a ghosting of our lips, then lean back to look at him again.

 

**Dammit Preppy, I think, wait, no, there’s no thinking about it. I-I love. I love you.**

 

I can’t contain myself any more. I break down, my heart, all my pain, pouring out in front of him, like the heavens opened up and the rains wouldn’t stop. 

 

(Leo)

 

**Leo, I am scared to death when I think of saying this. I need you to keep me grounded. Thank you for giving this crazy screwed up guy a chance at being loved. I don’t think I deserve it, but you think I do.**

 

Words of denial leap to my lips, but I hold them back with an effort. Ravi deserves love just as much as I do, if not more. But this is hard for him, I can tell, so I hold off saying anything until he’s finished. His lips brush across mine, as light as a butterfly’s wings. 

 

**Dammit Preppy, I think, wait, no, there’s no thinking about it. I-I love. I love you.**

 

My heart seems to explode when he says it. I’ve never heard more beautiful words from a more beautiful person. His past is a horror story, but it’s made him, at least partially, into the man he is today, and the man I love with everything I am. He starts crying again, tears running down his face, and his whole body shaking with the force of his sobs. I take him back in my arms, and start rocking him. 

 

**Shhh, baby, it’s ok. It’s ok, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Ravi. I love you.**

 

I repeat the words over and over, all discomfort at my position on the floor forgotten as I pour out my everything to him. 

 

(Ra)

 

**Shhh, baby, it’s ok. It’s ok, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Ravi. I love you.**

 

He keeps repeating those words over and over, as if to drill them into my brain. I let each one sink in, savoring it and holding on for dear life. It’s a relief in a way, saying those words to him. I love you, three simple words that can make or break a person. They broke me today, in a way, that I am not the person from ten years ago. They make me who I am, right now, with Leo in my arms.

 

Crap, I know that he is uncomfortable, just like me! I lift my body off the floor, helping Leo up once I’m standing. I lead us both to the shower, turning the water as hot as it will go. I put Leo in first, letting the heat soak into his skin and joints, hoping he’ll relax. Watching the water run down his bare flesh, I can’t help but think how hot he looks right now, and I can feel my cock beginning to swell with desire, again. He is leaning forward, hands on the wall as the water runs down his back. I lean into him, reaching my hands around his waist. He’s still limp, but I take it in my hand and start to gently stroke and tug it with slow drawn out strokes. His head falls back onto my shoulder, a purr falling like a prayer from his chest. I kiss the spot just below his ear, sucking it gingerly between my teeth. When I nip at the flesh, his head rolls to the side, and I bite down just enough on the top of his shoulder. I can feel him getting hard in my hand, and my excitement runs through my veins. I get to make him feel this way, I am the one that excites him. 

 

Sliding underneath his body, I come up between him and the wall, my hand never stopping their motions. His head falls forward and I capture his mouth with mine, kissing him with a need and hunger. When I break away, he is breathless, eye closed to concentrate on what 

I am doing to his cock. I drop to my knees, taking the weight of his full erection in my mouth and resting it on my tongue. I slip my fingers down and around the base, letting my mouth take him partially in. I swirl and lick at the tip, eliciting a groan, and I suck at the head, all the while stroking and circling my hand around his twitching cock. I hum low with him in my mouth, the vibration making him drawn in a sharp breath. My head begins to bob back and forth, sucking, licking, and bring him to the back of my throat. I hollow my cheeks, swallowing him down as far as I can, cupping his balls with my hand. I grasp my own cock with my other hand, jerking myself off with the same fervor. I can tell that he is already close when his thighs quiver, and I quicken the movements of my hands and mouth, letting him fuck my mouth as his hips thrust forward. When he cums, I let it fall down the back of my throat, swallowing every last drop. I am still jacking off, too caught up in his pleasure to chase my own.

 

(Leo)

Ravi rises to his feet after a while, offering a hand to help me up. He guides us to the shower, turning on the water as hot as it will go, and pushes me in first. The water feels good on my aching muscles, and I duck my head under the spray, letting it stream down my back. Then I feel Ravi’s arms come around me, his hands cupping my cock, and I whine softly. I force my body to straighten, my head dropping back onto his shoulder as our bodies press together. His mouth comes down on my neck, nipping and sucking from just below my ear down to where my shoulder meets my neck. I can feel myself slowly getting hard, the feelings, and the fact that it’s Ravi doing these things to me, getting to me. 

 

He slides under me, coming up between me and the wall, never letting go of my cock as he does so, stroking it gently. I bring my head forward, and he captures my mouth in a kiss. It’s hot and needy, and I gasp softly when he breaks away. Then he falls to his knees before me, wrapping his lips around me, sucking and stroking. When he hums, it sends a shock through me. He’s so good at this, it should be a crime. I fist my hands, looking down at him, and I can see in glimpses that he’s also stroking his own cock. The sight has me coming into his mouth, groaning out his name at the same time. He has a blissed out look on his face, as if my coming was all he was aiming for. But I know he needs to get off too, so I grab his arms, pulling him to his feet and turning him until he’s under the spray, using the water as a lubricant of sorts, wrapping my hand around his hard cock and stroking it with firm, even strokes. His legs shake and he gasps. 

 

**That’s it, Ravi, come on baby. Come for me. I know you want to. Be a good boy for me.**

 

My voice drops to a low growl and I rush him towards his own orgasm. 

 

(Ra) 

 

God, his hand feel good wrapped around me, the words he says edging me closer to my orgasm. God I want to fuck him, but I am afraid to ask. I want to feel him around me, gripping me and holding me deep inside him.

 

**Can I? I want to make love to you, I will be gentle, I promise.**

 

I use this distraction to ease back from getting off. I am fine though, with his answer, either way it goes.

 

(Leo)

 

My hand slows but doesn’t come to a complete stop when he asks. It surprises me to hear him ask to make love to me, instead of fucking, but it sends a thrill through me. I release him, turn him to face me. 

 

**Of course. But, we’re going to need lots of lube, and I think you’ll need to be very careful.**

 

Am I a little worried about Ravi reentering me, not because I think he’ll hurt me, but because I simply don’t want him to do something that causes me pain and then reverts to blaming himself and feeling guilty about yesterday. But, if he wants this, then I’m willing to give it to him, just like I’ve already given him my heart. 

 

**And, I think this would be better accomplished on a bed, don’t you?**

 

(Ra)

I didn’t think that he would agree, but when he did, my heart jumped, then sank. Why was I asking this, after yesterday? I didn’t want to hurt him again, but he reassured me, telling me that we would need lots of lubrication and to take it slow. 

 

**And, I think this would be better accomplished on a bed, don’t you?**

 

I shut the water off in record speed, taking his hand , and rushing to the bed, not caring that we were still wet.

 

I turned him to face me as I lowered him to the bed, following his body with mine. Kissing him slow and soft, I reached to where he had set the lube earlier. I squeezed a generous amount into my hand, taking some with my fingers and spreading it thickly at the rim of muscle at his entrance. I waited for him to take a deep breath, inserting my finger slowly as he exhaled. I took my time, letting him adjust to my finger, first the tip, then pushing a bit more in, each time waiting on his okay. When my finger was completely sheathed in him, I gently twisted it feeling the softness of his walls. I let him take his time adjusting to the movement. When he was ready, he nodded, and ever so slowly, with so much care, I been moving in and out of him, using more lube to make it easier. He gripped my wrist, and for a second I hesitated, until he told me to use another finger. Obliging him, I slid another finger in, watching his face for any sign of discomfort. Another nod, and I began moving again. My cock was throbbing, but I wanted to take my time with Leo, wanted to be as gentle as I can. When his hips started moving, I knew he was ready.

 

**Leo baby, I am going to take it slow, going to wait for you to tell me when to move. If it hurts I will stop. Okay?**

 

(Leo)

 

I almost laughed out loud at how fast Ravi shut off the water and yanked us out of the shower. He rushed us into the bedroom, spinning me at the last second to push me down onto the bed on my back, following me with his own body as he sealed our lips in a kiss. I heard the click of the lube top popping open, and then Ravi’s finger was stroking my entrance gently. I shuddered at the feeling, but I didn’t feel any pain, just a tiny stab of fear, which I quickly quashed. Today was not like yesterday, and everything would be fine. He waited until I nodded to begin pushing into me, going in tiny increments, waiting for my nod of approval each time, before he went further. It wasn’t long, however, until his digit was fully engulfed by my body. I felt him twist his wrist, his finger mimicking the movement inside me, and I dropped my head, letting out a shuddering breath. When I nodded again, he began to slide it in and out of me, slowly, carefully. When I was ready, I reached down, grabbing his wrist and whimpered for another finger. He did as I asked, watching me like a hawk as he started thrusting in and out of me again, but all I felt was toe-curling pleasure. My hips began moving almost on their own, and I wanted, needed, more than just his fingers. 

 

**Leo, baby, I am going to take it slow, going to wait for you to tell me when to move. If it hurts, I will stop. Okay?**

 

I bit down on my bottom lip, nodding hard. 

 

**Ok. Ok, Ravi, but I trust you. Please, I need you. Now.**

 

(Ra) 

 

That was all I needed to hear. Using the remaining lube in my hand, I coated my cock liberally, adding a bit more into his opened hole. Holding myself as still as possible, I lined the head of my cock with his entrance, pressing just the tip inside. He stilled, sucking in a deep calming breath. Just as he released it, I slid in. It was tight and warm, soft velvety walls stretching then closing around my length. I had to force my body to not thrust hard, making a cautious movement with my hips instead. His eyes rolled back and his mouth fell into a perfect circle of pleasure. I lifted one of his legs and pressed it to the side, opening his legs wider and opening him up some more. I leaned my body over his, supporting my weight on my one arm as I buried my cock deep within him. I stilled my hips, waiting for him to let me know I could move. When his eyes opened, they said more than any words could. They were pleading, needy with desire, and I began to move. Every thrust, every inch was taken with care. It felt like I was sinking in an ocean, the waves of his walls encircling me over and over. My head was swimming and I needed to move just a bit faster. I bent down and kissed him, my body pressing into his as I quickened my pace just a hair faster. His arms came up, wrapping around my back, nails digging into my skin harshly and painfully wonderful at the same time. 

 

**Sorry baby, but I’ve got to move, you feel too damn good.**

 

He set his eyes on mine, nodded and pulled me in, his hips lifting his pelvis to meet mine. He rocked his hips faster, and I tried to restrain my actions but I was too far gone. I met him thrust for thrust. Each one driving my orgasm to its crest. Not wanting to stretch him too painfully with my cock jerking and twitching, I thrust one last time, only to pull out and chase my release with my hand. I came with a hard jerk, cum spilling over my fingers, knowing he doesn’t want it on him. I howled his name, the sound echoing off the walls in my room. I fell to the side, landing on my back and breathing fast as I felt a few more twitches of my cock as my high came down.

 

(Leo)

 

Having Ravi slide, inch after inch, into me, was amazing. It was like having a hole filled that I hadn’t even been aware of until he completed me. We both focused on breathing, him sliding further into me each time I exhaled. He felt so damn good as he stretched me out, and when he was finally fully sheathed inside me, I gasped. He moved, just a roll of his hips, and the pleasure that shot through me had my eyes rolling back into my head and my mouth dropping open on a whimper. Ravi shifted one of my legs to the side, spreading me open more to both his cock and his gaze, and I felt heat in my cheeks that wasn’t all embarrassment. He arched over me, holding still with effort, until I opened my eyes, begging with them, saying everything that I couldn’t get out into words. He started to move,  _ finally,  _ gliding smoothly in and out of me, and my hands came up onto his back, where my fingers dug into the soft flesh. 

 

**Sorry baby, but I’ve got to move, you feel too damn good.**

 

I nodded frantically. I wanted that too, to feel him thrusting into me. I rocked my hips into each thrust as he picked up the pace, and was fast gaining on my orgasm when he pulled out of me, wrapping his hand around his cock and jerking it hard and fast. I watched him come in his hand, screaming out my name as he came. The image was enough to push me over the edge, my cock twitching as it shot ropes of come onto my stomach. His name dropped in whispers from my lips, and I collapsed, my heart racing and breathing raggedly. If every time was going to be this good, then I decided I could die happy. I reached out for him, curling and uncurling my fingers, wanting him to come cuddle with me.  

 

(Ra)

 

I felt his fingers open and close, beckoning me to hold him, much like a child wanting attention. I couldn't deny him if I tried, and I didn't want to deny him. I rolled over, laying my head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around me. 

 

**I love you.**

 

The words slipped out before I could think about what I was saying. It felt oddly natural and scary at the same time. There was no fighting it though, so I let it sink in. 

 

Looking at the clock, I nearly jumped. It was almost noon and I had clients coming. I kissed his cheek, telling him we would cuddle later, but I had to get ready. I hoped he wasn’t missing a class because of me either. Climbing out of bed, I rushed to get ready, Leo laughing at me running around grabbing clothes. Once I was dressed, I kissed him again.

 

**Do whatever you want today. I have clients until late, but if you want to come over you can.**

 

I got to the studio, having enough time to check my messages. Yoongi had called, yelling at me for busting his window and leaving without a word. I was going to have a hell of a time explaining that one to him. I opened the doors, greeting my first client of the day. 

 

I spent the next eight hours, hunched over body after body, taking breaks only to stretch my injured arm out, and grab a drink. 

 

It was almost time for my last client, so I called Leo real quick to see what he was doing. While I was waiting for him to answer, the bell chimed over the door. I looked up, phone still to my ear, to greet them. My face fell and my gut dropped as I went white. I overheard Leo answer just as I dropped the phone to the floor.

 

_ Hello boy, I've been looking for you.  _


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Death. That's all I'm going to say.

(Leo)

 

**I love you.**

 

There could never be words that sounded so sweet to me as those, from Ravi’s lips. He had wrapped himself around me, and I sighed contentedly. I wanted to stay like this forever, but when Ravi glanced at the clock on the bedside table, I knew it wouldn’t. He rolled out of bed, muttering about a client that was due any time, and I realized that I’d missed my class this morning. Not that I cared, I would have much rather spent this time with Ravi than in a classroom. I hoped I wasn’t setting a trend. 

 

**Do whatever you want today. I have clients until late, but if you want to come over, you can.**

 

I nodded, giggling as he rushed around, grabbing up clothes as he spoke. When he was finally out the door, I finally got up, located my pyjama pants, then pulled them up around my hips. Deciding that I’d best get some work done, I grabbed my laptop from my room and carried it out to the kitchen, then immersed myself in homework and texting Hakyeon about what I’d missed today. The time seemed to fly by, and just after eight, my phone rang. I grinned when I saw Ravi’s name on the screen, and swiped the button to answer it. 

 

**Hey, baby, almost finished? What do you think about going out--**

 

I was cut off as a loud crashing sound came through the speaker of the phone, making me jerk in surprise. 

 

**Ravi? Ravi, are you there?**

 

When there was no answer, I jumped to my feet, terrifying thoughts running through my head. Was he hurt? Had something horrible happened? Racing to the side door that led to the connecting hallway from the house to the shop, I forgot all about the fact that I was still only in my pyjama pants. All that mattered was getting to Ravi and making sure he was ok. 

 

(Ra)

 

It had been nine years, three months, two weeks, and five days since I had seen his face. I knew it was him the second he entered the door. All those years had been cruel to him, but unfortunately not cruel enough. I was physically sick, bile rising and my head spinning as he stood there looking at me, a sinister grin on his face. I could hear someone running down the hall that connected my studio to the house.

 

_ Dammit. Leo don’t come here! _

 

I was screaming in my head trying to tell Leo to turn and run. But, I knew he wouldn’t hear me. I stood up from my chair, my eyes never leaving my father’s beady stare. I positioned myself so I could see down the hall, watching past that evil incarnate being. 

 

The best I could do was talk loudly when Leo came into view. I heard the steps getting closer, now’s my chance.

 

**You’ve been looking for me? Why? So you can stop living in your own hell alone? Get the fuck out before I call the cops!**

 

I prayed Leo heard me, prayed he would stop, turn tail and run, but something deep inside my gut told me he wouldn’t. 

 

My scumbag of a sperm donor continued to glare at me. Even after all this time, he still put fear in me.

 

C’mon boy, it’s your old man, can’t you give your dad a hug? I said come here son!

 

My stomach pitched, vomit filling my mouth and I puked everywhere. 

 

I looked up to see Leo standing behind him, a look of sheer terror and raging anger etched in his features. I shook my head slightly, telling him not to move. Pointing my fingers like a gun, I tapped my head as if rubbing my temple, then spoke cryptically, hoping Leo was as smart as I hoped.

 

**I’m not coming to you. I am heading to my kitchen to get a drink from the cabinets, then going to come back here. You had better be gone when I come back.**

 

Stupid boy. I ain’t leaving til I see my son all grown up. Now, get over here and greet me properly, son. Give daddy a big hug and kiss hello.

 

I couldn’t move, fear holding me glued to my place. If he took one step, I would be done for, lost in the terror that filled me. I watched as Leo turned on his heel, sprinting down the hall as soon as he was out of sight.

 

_ God Leo, don’t do anything stupid. _

 

I watched my father take a step forward, only to stop and gauge my reaction. When he saw my eyes widen, he sneered then took another step, and another, until he was in my face.

 

When I tell you to come, boy, you come!  Don’t make me have to come get you!

 

I could feel his wretched spit hitting my face as he yelled in my face. Then I heard Leo coming back down the hall. I tore my gaze away from his eyes, looking at the hall, when my father grabbed my arms. I saw Leo come into view, gun in hand. 

 

**Leo! Don’t!**

 

(Leo)

 

I was about to round the bend in the hallway when I heard Ravi’s voice, loud and steady, but filled with an emotion I’d never heard before. 

 

**You’ve been looking for me? Why? So you can stop living in your own hell alone? Get the fuck out before I call the cops!**

 

I inched forward, carefully peeking around the corner. Ravi was facing me, but between us stood a short but muscular man. I couldn’t tell much about him from the back, but I could read the absolute terror on Ravi’s face. It wasn’t until the man spoke that his identity became clear, and I felt my blood freeze. 

 

C’mon boy, it’s your old man, can’t you give your dad a hug? I said come here son!

 

Ravi’s father. I saw red, wanting nothing more than to hurl myself forward and snap the bastard’s neck with my bare hands. But before I could do anything stupid, Ravi puked, and I swallowed hard. He must be terrified beyond reason, and I felt the rage become tempered with fear for him. What wouldn’t this man do, if he got his hands on Ravi? I hesitated, unsure of what to do, until I glanced down at Ravi and realized he was looking straight at me. His hand twitched, two fingers coming up to his temple, in the clear shape of a gun. Then he spoke. 

 

**I’m not coming to you. I am heading to my kitchen to get a drink from the cabinets, then going to come back here. You had better be gone when I come back.**

 

It was if he were speaking a secret language to me, encased in ordinary words. I understood perfectly, and I turned on my heel and raced back to the house. Skidding into the kitchen, I dashed to the cabinet where Ravi stored his liquor, shoving bottles aside until I spotted the cool metal of the gun in the very back. I picked it up, its weight scarily real in my hands. I didn’t know much more about guns than that you had to point and shoot, so I hoped to god that Ravi kept it loaded. I held it firmly but carefully as I rushed back to the door and down the hallway. Rounding the corner fully this time, I found Ravi backed against a wall, the old man as close as he could get to Ravi without touching him. I raised the gun carefully, it coming fully up when he grabbed Ravi’s arm. 

 

**Leo! Don’t!**

 

Ravi’s cry had the man turning to face me, and I grit my teeth and practically growled. 

 

**Get. The fuck. Away from him. Or I swear to god, I’ll use your brains to redecorate this whole goddamn shop.**

 

My finger rested against the trigger, and there was no hesitation on my part. I would do anything to protect Ravi, even commit murder, without a second thought. 

 

(Ra)

When Leo spoke my old man turned slowly to look in his direction. He curled his lips up, an evil sick grin painted on his face.

 

Ravi, my boy got yourself a little fuck buddy I see. Why don’t you share him with your old man? He looks like he would make me feel real good.

 

I saw red when he said those disgusting words about Leo. I turned my head to Leo, mouthed ‘I’m sorry’, knowing fully well he would shoot to kill if he had to. I steeled my nerves, then grabbed my father’s arms, spinning him around where he was facing Leo, with me between them. 

 

**Shoot!**

 

(Leo)

 

Ravi, my boy got yourself a little fuck buddy I see. Why don’t you share him with your old man? He looks like he would make me feel real good.

 

The words made bile rise in my throat when paired with the sick leer on the man’s face. I glanced from him to Ravi, and at the moment saw Ravi mouth the words. 

 

_ I’m sorry. _

 

The next few seconds passed in a blur- Ravi’s arms reaching for his father, spinning him around to face me, with Ravi in-between me and the man. His voice came through as though from a distance, but I understood him perfectly. 

 

**Shoot!**

 

The word was filled with desperation, and I aimed the gun as if I’d been handling one all my life, sighting it just past Ravi’s head, praying to God I wouldn’t hit him, and pulled the trigger. Everything slowed to a crawl, and I could almost see the bullet fly through the air, the breeze from its passing ruffling Ravi’s hair, before slamming home into the face of the monster who has threatened the man I love. There was time for a surprised look to cross the man’s face before he slumped to the floor, blood pulsing from the back of his head. I looked at Ravi, to convince myself he was ok, before I dropped the gun and, in imitation of him just minutes earlier, spewed the contents of my stomach onto the floor. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sort of amusing, drunk, clean-up-after-the-fact filler chapter. But I promise, more drama *is* coming in the next chapter!! :D

(Ra)

 

I hoped that I was leaning just enough, and Leo knew what he was doing, when I heard the click of the gun going off. The hum of the bullet passed my ear and then a thwack that sounded like an echo in my ear. My  father fell from my grip, dark red blood oozing from under his head and spreading across the floor. My first instinct was to look at Leo. His face was a blank stare, eyes wild and vacant, his color draining from him. He looked at me briefly then threw up all over the floor, his body swaying. I ran to his side, holding him up before he fell forward.

 

**Leo, hey, it’s going to be okay. Hey look at me, we’re okay.**

 

He glanced at the body slumped on the floor, blood now a large pool around him, and he was out. I lowered him to the floor. I was in a panic, a dead man in my studio, Leo passed out cold, and I’m in the middle of it. Leo came to, looking around and calling out my name. 

 

**I’m here. Just sit still, I‘ve got all of this under control.**

 

Surveying the scene before me, I couldn’t help but laugh maniacally. The man that I wanted to kill for most of my life was finally dead, I was free. Free from my haunting hell. I heard Leo say my name, but I kept laughing, and I am sure that Leo was beginning to get scared that I had snapped. Once I stopped, I told him that I was okay and would explain later. My first call was to Jay and Namjoon. They had connections that could help us in a situation just like this. They are just two of the handful of people who knew my past, and I had them come over. 

 

We spent the next two hours clearing the body, cleaning the studio from top to bottom, creating an alibi and my friends using their connections to dispose of the body, the reason, if they were ever asked, was a drug deal gone wrong and they fired in self defense. It really does help having links with the police and knowing a few crooked cops. I had put Leo in one of the rooms, to keep him out of the loop, just in case. 

 

When everyone had left, and I was alone, I went to get Leo. I know he’s scared, flipping his lid with anger and guilt for taking a life. I knocked on the door before opening it slowly.

 

**Hey, everything is done. Do you want to talk about it? It’s okay and normal if you don’t. I’m here if you want to.**

 

I stepped over to him cautiously, not wanting to startle him. He looked like a caged animal, ready to leap if provoked. I held my hands in front of me, letting him follow them as I pulled his head to my chest.

 

**Thank you. Thank you for saving my life. You have no reason to feel any guilt. I’m okay. I trust you with my life.**

 

I could feel him trembling, shock finally setting in, his hands roaming over me, as if he was trying to convince himself that I was still there and okay. I just held him close, not letting go as he mumbled words incoherently. 

 

(Leo)

 

I felt my legs give way, and suddenly Ravi’s strong arms were there to catch and hold me. I look up a him, but his face was dark around the edges, and I could only faintly hear his voice. 

 

**Leo, hey, it’s going to be okay. Hey look at me, we’re okay.**

 

Those words comforted me as the darkness closed in. 

 

It could have been only moments or hours before I came back to myself. I called out hoarsely for Ravi, and he was suddenly there, in front of me. 

 

**I’m here, just sit still. I’ve got all of this under control.**

 

He stood up, looking over the bloody scene, and suddenly started to giggle. It raised in pitch until he was laughing as if he’d lost his mind. In face, I started to wonder if his sanity had cracked when I heard other voices coming down the hall from the house. His laughter faded away, and I forced myself to my feet as he bit his lip and looked around. Then, deciding something, he pulled me to an empty room, and pushed me inside. Reassuring me, he asked that I stay in the room. I only nodded, sinking down onto a plush chair and watched as the door closed. 

 

A couple of hours later, and the noises of what I assumed were cleaning died away. There was a tentative knock on the door and then it opened to admit Ravi. I looked up at him, and felt my breathing hitch. I felt sick, and scared, and under it all was the unbelievable knowledge that I had killed someone. I had no idea how I was going to deal with that, going forward from here. 

 

He approached me carefully, as if afraid I might bite, like a cornered animal. I watched his hands warily as they came up, cupping my cheeks and pulling my head to his chest. This seemed to break something in me, and my own hands came up to grab at his shoulders, then slide down his back, making sure he was really there, and not hurt in any way. 

 

**Thank you. Thank you for saving my life. You have no reason to feel any guilt. I’m ok. I trust you with my life.**

 

I nodded, burying my face in the crook of his shoulder and mumbling under my breath, just random things about how much I loved him. Then, without warning, I pulled back, tears making my sight dance, but a shaky smile curving my lips. 

 

**Did you see that, Ravi? I was a regular John Wayne, huh?**

 

I shook as the tears slid down my cheeks and I had to bite my lip to keep my hysterical giggles under control. 

 

(Ra)

 

When he started giggling and talking about John Wayne, it realized that he was in shock full swing and I needed to calm him down, quickly.

 

**Leo, babe, let’s go to the kitchen, I think we both need a drink right now.**

 

I took his hand and laced our fingers in order to keep a hold of him. We walked down the hall, not looking back, and entered the kitchen. I rummaged through my liquor cabinet finding the strongest drink I had, Vodka. I poured him a glass, way more than he should probably normally drink, but getting him drunk and passed out was my goal. Handing him the glass, he downed it in one gulp, breathing in sharply through his teeth to kill the burn. He handed me his glass, and I poured again, filling it to the rim. We kept this up for at least four rounds, until I could visibly see he couldn’t handle another drink. He went to stand, stumbling over the chair as it slid backwards. I had to smile, despite everything, at his low tolerance. Snaking my arm around his waist, half holding him up and half guiding him, I walked him to his bedroom. When he looked inside, he actually whined like a bratty kid.

 

**But oppa! I want your bed, let’s go to your bed. Only your bed, NOT MINE!!**

 

**Leo, you need to get some good sleep, I’ll be here in the morning.**

 

**Your bed or no sex, ever never! I. Want. Your. Bed. Now.**

 

Sighing at his antics, I gave in and walked him to my bed, I was not going to risk no sex, when he could be serious as hell about it. I turned the bed down, getting his side ready.

 

**OOOPPAAAA! Strip me, I’m hot, I wanna be NEKED. Naked naked naked!**

 

**Leo, just lay down. You are drunk and you need to sleep it off. I’ll be back in here in a bit.**

 

**But, but I want to be neked, and I want you neked, and.. Hey we can be neked together!**

 

**Jeez, Leo. Here.**

 

I strip him down until he is naked. Setting him down on the bed with a thud. I barely shove him and he falls sideways onto the pillow. He frowns, then looks up towards my direction, as he’s able to focus, and get serious for a second.

 

**I love you, Ravi. I would do anything to keep you safe. Anything.**

 

After that was said, he was out, finally. Drunk Leo is definitely a handful, and I will need to remember that. I tucked him in, then went to the kitchen for my rounds of mind numbing alcohol. By the time I came to bed, I was too drunk to think or care about anything. Leo was spread eagle on the bed, full nakedness on display, and I had to fight back any urges that were trying to arise. But drunk sex was awesome, but no, not happening tonight. 

 

(Leo)

 

**Leo, babe, let’s go to the kitchen, I think we both need a drink right now.**

 

Ravi’s fingers interlaced with mine, and he pulled me back to the house, pushing me into a chair when we got to the kitchen. I watched him numbly as he poured a full glass of alcohol, and I picked it up and downed it automatically once he’d set it in front of me. The vodka burned my throat, and I coughed as he poured me another drink, hissing in breaths between my clenched teeth. By the time I’d had four glasses, I could hardly feel my body, and as I tried to stand, I almost fell over the chair. Ravi smiled at me, then wrapped a hand around my waist and walked me down the hall to my room. When he opened the door, I heard myself whine. 

 

**But oppa! I want your bed, let’s go to your bed. Only your bed, NOT MINE!!**

 

_ I cringed inwardly, hoping I wouldn’t remember this in the morning. _

 

**Leo, you need to get some good sleep, I’ll be here in the morning.**

 

**Your bed or no sex, ever never! I. Want. Your. Bed. Now.**

 

Ravi sighed and pulled me to his room, but I wasn’t done. 

 

**OOOPPAAAA! Strip me, I’m hot, I wanna be NEKED! Naked naked naked!**

 

_ Oh, God, I hope I never get drunk again.  _

 

**Leo, just lay down. You are drunk and you need to sleep it off. I’ll be back here in a bit.**

 

**But, but I want to be neked, and I want you neked, and...Hey, we can be neked together!**

 

**Jeez, Leo. Here.**

 

Ravi strips my pyjama pants off and shoves me so I wind up on my side, head on the pillow. As I squint up at him, I’m able to gain control of myself for a moment. 

 

**I love you, Ravi. I would do anything to keep you safe. Anything.**

 

I know that he knows that, and I’ve proved my word tonight, but I want him to hear it again. Once I say that, I’m out like a light. I don’t even stir when Ravi crawls into bed with me. 

 

(Ra)

 

Thankfully its the weekend, I have no clients, and I am at my own home. My head is pounding, I feel like shit and Leo is taking up two-thirds of the bed. I fall out of the bed, literally crawling to the bathroom for pain killers. I manage to get some down, then stumbling with my eyes half closed to the toilet to piss. I walk with leaded feet to the kitchen, starting a fresh pot of much needed coffee. I look down the hall to the studio, every image from yesterday rushing at me like a herd of raging elephants. I sit down on the chair, remember that everything was taken care of and I can now move on with my life. 

 

A lot of things have changed, some bad, some good, all of it giving me a massive panic attack. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I told Leo that I love him, My father died by my lover’s hand, and I have gained freedom from my past, from the monster that created me. I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude for Leo. He had changed me in more ways than one. Leo, I hope he doesn’t have lasting effects from what he did, he did what he needed to do, to protect the both of us. 

 

(Leo)

 

When I wake up the following morning, it’s to a hangover the likes I’ve never experienced before. My mouth feels like the Sahara, and my whole body aches, but the worst pain is in my head. I need painkillers, but I’m afraid I might die before I make it to the bathroom. I try going slow, moving in increments, but before I’m even fully upright, my stomach revolts and I scream in pain as I force my body to jump across the room, slamming the bathroom door so hard it rattles in its frame. The next moment finds me emptying what feels like my entire stomach into the toilet. It hurts, so bad, and I start to cry. I don’t want to feel like this. I’d rather be dead. 

 

Dead. 

 

The events of last night flood over me and I puke again, clutching my stomach desperately as I sob, vomit giving way to dry heaves as my body tries to rid itself of alcohol it can no longer get rid of by making me expel the contents of my stomach. I fall back away from the toilet, curling up on the cool floor, wanting Ravi with every fiber of my being, to take care of me and tell me it’ll all be ok. But I can’t call for him- my throat burns and even breathing is an effort, so calling out to him isn’t going to happen. Instead, I lay, half hoping he’ll come find me, the other half wishing I could be at least unconscious so that I wouldn’t have to feel this pain anymore. 

 

(Ra)

 

My silent solitude is interrupted by the sound of a door slamming and Leo puking his guts up. I rush to my room, looking around desperately for Leo, only to hear him from the bathroom, throwing up again. I rush in, seeing him clutching the toilet with one hand and clasping his stomach with the other. He curls up on the floor, sobs wracking his body. 

 

He is either hungover like hell or he remembered everything. I have a feeling it’s both. I step over to him, putting my hand on his forehead. He is breaking out in a cold sweat, so I grab a washcloth and wet it with cold water. Bending down over him,  I place the cold cloth to his head. He whimpers softly, and my heart breaks. I sit beside him, holding the cloth to his head as I try my best to comfort him,

  
  


**You’ll be okay. This is my fault, and I’m sorry, but I had to get you to forget last night for a bit. I told you everything is going to be okay. Do you want to talk about it?**

 

He shakes his head no, the motion setting his stomach to rumbling again. He bolts upright turning back to the toilet. I hold his head up until he dry heaves once again. I pick him up, carrying him to the bed. I lay him down with as little movement as possible.

 

**Don’t move, I’m going to make hangover soup, I’ll bring it to you when it’s ready, just try to sleep.**

 

I stroked his cheek, waiting until his eyes closed before I left. I found the ingredients I needed, making fast work of making him soup. I poured him a large cup, carrying it to the bedroom. He was asleep, and I hated to wake him, but I wanted to get something healthy on his stomach. I set the cup down, then helped him sit up against the headboard. Holding the cup for him, he sipped the broth, color finally returning to his face as he drank. 

 

**We are never getting you this drunk again. I apologize again for making you feel this way.**

 

When he was finished, he laid back down, and I made my way to the other side of the bed and laid down with him, giving him space to move but still being there for him if he needed me.

 

(Leo)

 

It seemed like an answered prayer when Ravi places a cool cloth on my head. It hurts, but feels good at the same time, and it makes me whimper. 

 

**You’ll be okay. This is my fault, and I’m sorry, but I had to get you to forget last night for a bit. I told you everything is going to be okay. Do you want to talk about it?**

 

I shake my head, which brings on another retching fit, my body arching over the toilet. When I collapse again, Ravi picks me up and carries me to the bed, laying me down carefully and trying not to jostle me too much. 

 

**Don’t move. I’m going to make you hangover soup. I’ll bring it to you when it’s ready, just try to sleep.**

 

I drift, not quite sleeping, as the scent of soup begins to waft down the hall from the kitchen. When he comes back, he shakes me back to wakefulness, helping me lean up against the headboard so I don’t have to support my own body. He lifts the soup to my lips, and I do start to feel better as I sip it down. 

 

**We are never getting you this drunk again. I apologize again for making you feel this way.**

 

I give him a weak grin, cracking a joke. 

 

**Yea, let’s not. Drunk me is way too obsessed with being naked with you.**

 

I hand the now empty cup back to him, which he sets down on the bedside table, before curling his body against me. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him as close as I can before I fall back to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

(Ra)

 

We survived the hangovers, coming out with stronger constitutions in the end. We spent the next week settling into a routine of me working, Leo going to classes and both of us eating dinner late. The events of the previous weekend fading to the back of our minds. Leo never came back to the studio, and I didn’t blame him or ask him to. By the second week, things were pretty much back to normal. We had my friends over, to thank them for the dinner we ran out on and to pay for the window I broke. Leo got along great with them, even taking part in a few rounds of poker. We had been so busy trying to forget about some things that we didn’t make time for us as a couple. Sure, we went out, sat up and watched TV or I helped him with some of his studies, but as far as the bedroom action, it was null and void. We both knew it was because we were trying to make our minds block things, thus blocking our own needs out. I was getting antsy, but I never let on to Leo, he had enough on his plate as it was. So some nights when he slept I took matters into my own hands, literally. When he was ready, I was sure he’d let me know.

 

(Leo)

 

Two weeks was entirely long enough to go without sex. Honestly, I understood the lack of action in the bedroom that first week, but as seven days stretched to fourteen, I felt like I was going to explode. So, finally, I decided to take matters into my own hands. 

 

I waited until Ravi was working late on a particularly touchy client, then went to his bedroom. I stripped out of my clothes and spread out on the bed. I start slow, because I have at least an hour before Ravi gets back. My fingers run across my lips, down my neck, nails scraping lightly over the sensitive skin. I dig them in a little, raking them across the juncture of my neck and shoulders. Then I slide the pads of my fingers down to my nipples, rubbing them with feather light touches, then flicking and pinching them. I imagine it’s Ravi’s hands on me, and gasp as I give them a hard pinch. Heat pools in my stomach and I force myself to move my hands further south. I skim around my crotch, slipping my hand past my balls and running a finger around my entrance. My other hand cups my balls, rolling them gently, then giving a tug. I slip the tip of my finger inside myself, twisting it and rubbing at my walls, which flutter at the sensation. My fingers rub at my taint and I moan as I push my finger deeper, searching out that little bundle of nerves. When I press against it, I moan. 

 

**Ravi….**

 

My voice is low and husky, and I want to come so badly, my cock hard and aching, but I’m waiting for Ravi to be the one to make me reach that point. I keep sliding my finger in and out of myself slowly, teasing a second finger around my rim, and moving my other hand back up to my chest. 

 

I hardly register the hall door opening and Ravi calling for me, I’m so lost in the fantasy I’ve created for myself. I finally push the second finger inside me, and let out a loud whine at the stretch. That should get his attention. 

 

(Ra) 

 

It was my late night at the studio, and I really wanted to see Leo. Coming into the house side, I called out for Leo, but there was no answer. I figured he was already asleep, so I made my way to bed. Just before I opened the door, I heard the most sinful sound, Leo whining in pleasure. I throw the door open to find him two fingers deep, spread out on the bed completely naked. Oh hell no! He is not going to do anything like that without me! He's too caught up to hear me, but I am determined to make my presence known.

 

Covering the distance in two strides, I grab his hand to hold it still.

 

**That tight hole of yours is mine.**

 

I pull his hand away, replacing those fingers with mine. He is already open for me and I slide in effortlessly. I take my free hand and pinch a hard nipple between my finger and thumb, making him moan loudly. The sound eggs me on, and I fuck him with my fingers, sliding in and out of him with such vigor that his hips lift off the bed. Then I get an idea **.**

 

**Don't move a muscle, don't touch yourself. I'll be right back.**

 

I head to the playroom, finding my favorite vibrator. Grabbing it and the lube, I head back. He's still in the same position I left him. Tonight I get to have control again, and my need is great.

 

I turn on the vibrator. Turning it to the lowest setting. I press it into him, reveling in the way he squirms at the sensation. Twisting it around, I grab his cock in my other hand, pumping him fast as I alternate firm and soft pressure along his length. I maneuver the vibrator to an angle that hits his ball of nerve endings deep inside, tilting it to hit his walls and prostate at the same time. He is a writhing mess, moans and whimpers like a song to the gods. As soon as I feel his legs tense, I know he is close but I ‘m not done with him just yet. I have to have him fuck me hard, so I straddle his hips in reverse cowgirl, not caring to lubricate or stretch myself. Keeping the vibrator in place with my hand I turn up the speed as I let myself slide down onto him, relishing in the sting of him stretching me wide. Once I have him seated to his base, I begin  working the vibrator at the same pace as I am bouncing up and down his cock. He feels so good, his hips flexing to meet my thrusts with a slam. I roll my hips in small circles as I drive him home, making my walls clench and tighten as he moves in and out, in and out. I feel him pulsate and throb, his orgasm hitting him with such force that he cries out in release. It is music to my ears, and I bounce faster on him, his cum spilling out and running between us. I keep the vibrator on high speed, his whole body hypersensitive and jerking with shockwaves beneath me. I met my release with as much power as his, my hips shaking and legs going weak as I fall forward, holding myself up with my arms. 

 

**Leo. God, that was amazing! You are so good for me, pleasing me with that cock of yours.**

 

I finally collapsed on top of him, my breaths coming quick, legs weak, and body numb from my orgasm. Lifting off of his softening cock, I come to lay beside him, planting quick kisses to his chest and neck.

 

**We will never go that long again, I promise.**

 

(Leo)

 

I start in surprise when Ravi’s hand grabs my wrist, effectively stopping my teasing masturbation session. His eyes flash and he growls at me, which only makes my heart beat faster in anticipation. 

 

**That tight hole of yours is mine.**

 

He pulls my wrist away, and replaces my fingers with his own, being just rough enough. He reaches up with his other hand, pinching my nipples, and I moan at the sharp pain. Then suddenly his hands are gone, and he’s giving orders. 

 

**Don’t move a muscle, don’t touch yourself. I’ll be right back.**

 

I fist my hands into the covers, and wait until he comes back. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s gone to fetch something from the playroom, and I’m excited to see what it is. When he comes back, he’s got a slender vibrator in one hand. He wastes no time in stripping out of his clothes, then turning the vibrator on and easing it into me. The feeling is amazing, and with each stroke, he hits that bundle of nerves inside me which has me wanting more. But what he does next shocks me. He climbs up onto me, swinging his leg over to straddle my thighs. I have a wonderful view as he arches his back, and forces himself down onto my cock. The image of my hard length disappearing  into him while feeling his walls clench around me pushes me that much closer to the edge, but with the vibrator thrown in, it’s almost more than I can stand. I roll my hips up to meet his every slide down my cock, and it’s not long before I’m coming inside him with a long, drawn out cry of his name. 

 

But he’s not done yet. He keeps riding my cock, the vibrator still fucking into me, and I’m so sensitive that it almost hurts, it feels so good. When he comes, his back arches in a perfect bow, and he lets out a shuddering wail. Then he falls forward, away from me, catching himself with his hands on either side of my legs. 

 

**Leo. God, that was amazing! You are so good for me, pleasing me with that cock of yours.**

 

He raises up off me, coming up the bed to lay beside me, dropping little kisses on my chest and up my neck. 

 

**We will never go that long again, I promise.**

 

I chuckle tiredly, nodding at him. 

 

**If you promise. I love you, Ravi.**

 

I’m out before he can reply. 

 

(Ra)

 

I woke up pleasantly sore and sated still from last night. I turn to Leo’s side of the bed, only to find it empty. I look to the bathroom, no light or sound coming from within. I strain to listen past the bedroom door, but still nothing. It’s still dark outside, so I get up and turn on the bedroom light. His clothes are gone, his pyjama pants on the floor. I step into the hallway, nothing but pitch black silence. I begin to worry about where he is, and if something bad might have happened.

 

**Leo! Leo! Where are you?**

 

I grab my phone, seeing if by chance I had a missed call or text. Nothing. Where in the hell is he? I happen to look at the kitchen counter and see a hurriedly scribbled note.

 

**Hakyeon texted, he is flipping out so I went to see if everything is okay. Will call you later.**

 

Good grief! I am here worried sick, and he ran off to see his friend because of a crisis? I’ll show him crisis when he gets home. I trudge back to bed, tampering my anger for now.

 

(Leo)

 

I’m awakened hours later by the buzzing of my phone in my pants pocket. I slide as carefully from the bed as I can, trying my best not to disturb Ravi. I fumble my phone from my pocket and see several missed calls and texts from Hakyeon. I unlock the screen, ignoring the calls and go straight to the texts. 

 

_ Leo, I need you to call or text me asap! It’s super important! Dammit, Leo, some time tonight! _

 

I tap out a quick message and press send. It’s only moments before I receive a reply. 

 

_ Dude, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for hours. Were you having dirty sex? Never mind, not important. I need you to come to the apartment asap. It’s urgent! _

 

_ I’m on my way.  _

 

I gather up my clothes, slipping into them as quietly as I can. I decide that taking Ravi’s car isn’t a good idea without his permission, so I opt for ordering an uber. At the last minute, I decide that leaving Ravi a note is probably a good idea. I turn on the flashlight on my phone and search quietly until I find a sheet of paper and pen, and scribble a quick explanation. I leave it on the table, in case I get back before Ravi wakes up, and I can throw it out. Then I slip out the front door to wait for my ride. 

 

(N)

I couldn’t believe I had to wait so long for Leo to get back to me. When someone had a situation like mine, you need somebody right then, not two hours later. So I was desperate and anxious when he did text back and say he was on his way. Leo is a great friend, and I knew could depend on him when I really needed to.

 

He finally pulls up, and I practically tackle him as he enters the door.

 

**Leo! I don’t know what to do! It’s Chae. She’s pregnant!**

 

I am still in shock that my girlfriend is knocked-up, and whether it’s mine or Baekhyun’s doesn’t matter. We have been in our little relationship for four years, always the three of us, so if it’s his then it’s mine too. And vice versa, no matter what.  But, I still can’t believe this, so I called Leo to give me an outsider point of view on what to do. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be a parent or co-parent, and I’m definitely not sure how this is going to change our relationship.

 

**What should I do?**

 

(Leo)

 

The ride back to the apartment I used to share with Hakyeon didn’t take long, but it was just long enough to have me squirming in my seat. I jump out before the car comes to a complete stop and run into the building, practically dancing with impatience as I wait for the elevator. I’m about ready to rip the doors off as they slide open and I race down the hall to the apartment. The door is unlocked, and I burst in like a whirlwind. Hakyeon flies into my arms the second he sees me, wasting no time in blurting out what it is that has him so freaked out. 

 

**Leo, I don’t know what to do! It’s Chae. She’s pregnant!**

 

The information hits me like a ton of bricks and I swallow hard. My best friend is going to be a dad! My legs feel weak, and I can only imagine how he feels. But he’s got that scared puppy look on his face, so I try to reassure him. 

 

**Really? That’s great! I mean, the timing could be better, but I think you guys will be just fine. I guess there’s no way of knowing if it’s yours or Baekhyun’s, but it’s all of yours, together. I mean, assuming you guys will stay together. I know it’s a scary idea, but the three of you, together, would make amazing parents.**

 

I grin at him when I think about a mini-Hakyeon running around. Oh, it’ll be the next best thing to having a baby of my own-better, even, since I’ll get to do all the fun things while skipping out on things like bottle feedings and midnight diaper changes. 

 

**Of course, I suppose you guys will have to talk all this out, figure out how to make it work, but just remember that I’m here for you, ok Hakyeon?**

 

I wrap him in a hug, happy that I woke up to this news, and not a bit worried about Ravi at the moment. 

 

(Ra)

 

It’s early when I hear the front door open, but  continue lying in bed, waiting to see if he tries to sneak in. Sure enough, I hear the bedroom door creak open, just barely wide enough for him to slip through. He pads quietly over to his side of the bed, lifting the covers to climb back in.

 

**So, what was the crisis, that you had to leave without waking me up to let me know you were going? Do you know that something could have happened and I wouldn’t know about it?**

 

I had, luckily for Leo, tampered my anger enough to speak calmly to him. I was still pissed as hell, and seriously considering giving him a taste of his own medicine, but I knew he would literally go crazy with worry about me. I settled on a punishment far worse than that. Denial. Denial of orgasm. That would make my sex crazed college boy remember not to do that again. 

 

**You have class today, so let’s get up and eat before you have to leave. I am going to the new studio to arrange the rooms. I want to hear all about this roommate crisis over breakfast.**

 

I slid out of bed, pulling on my pants and headed out of the room. He will be going nuts over wondering if he was in trouble or not. Yep, this is going to fun.

 

(Leo)

I spent the better part of an hour just talking with Hakyeon over everything, and the sky was getting light when I ordered another uber and went back home. I was exhausted, but still a little apprehensive over whether or not Ravi had woken up to find me gone. That question was answered when I opened the door to Ravi’s bedroom, wincing when it creaked just a little. I slip into the room and cross to the bed, lifting the covers to slide back in next to Ravi, when his eyes turn to me and he speaks. 

 

**So, what was the crisis, that you had to leave without waking me up to let me know you were going? Do you know that something could have happened and I wouldn’t know about it?**

 

I instantly feel defensive. I left a note, didn’t I? I want to protest, but I get the feeling, from the faint glitter I can see in his eyes in the pre-dawn light, that arguing with him wouldn’t be a smart move on my part right now. So instead, I nod. 

 

**I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to wake you up. I figured you needed your rest, and besides, it was kind of a personal...thing. I didn’t know if you’d even be interested.**

 

And yes, they’re excuses, and weak ones at that, but they’re all I have to offer in the wake of his clear disapproval. He just stared at me before finally shaking his head and changing the subject.

 

**You have class today, so let’s get up and eat before you have to leave. I am going to the new studio to arrange the rooms. I want to hear all about this roommate crisis over breakfast.**

 

He slides out of bed and slides into his pants, then leaves the room. I’m left confused. Is he angry, or isn’t he? At first, I was sure he was, but the even tone of his voice points to the opposite. And, more importantly, am I going to be punished? Sighing, I roll out of the bed as well. I guess, whatever is coming, at least I can face it on a full stomach, so I follow Ravi to the kitchen. 

 

(Ra)

 

I hear him follow me into the kitchen. I fix a big breakfast, eggs, bacon, fried rice, and toast. I am finding slight joy in making him guess if I’m upset or not. I fix his plate and then mine. We sit down to eat, Leo talking about his roommate’s predicament, and I give him my opinion on the matter. After breakfast, I hand him the keys to the Audi, giving him a way to get around today. I kiss his head and head out of the door. To be a fly on the wall when he tries to figure my mood out.

 

I spend the day with Yoongi, Jay, and Eric setting up the new studio. I text Leo once during the day, remembering he doesn’t like five million while he’s in school, asking how his day was going. I had to laugh, knowing that he would probably ask me out right if I was mad or not when he got home. The studio looked great, using Leo’s ideas about the decor, and I took some pictures to show him later.

 

When I got home, he was still out, so I fixed dinner, setting his plate in the warmer for later. I went to take a shower, using the time to unwind and relieve some tension, if you know what I mean. By the time Leo got home, I was sitting in the living room, reading a magazine. I looked over my shoulder as he walked in.

 

**Hey, welcome home. Dinner’s in the warmer, I already ate. Let me know if you need anything.**

 

I went back to my reading, a smirk curling at my lips. 

 

(Leo)

 

I hovered in the doorway of the kitchen as Ravi cooked, unsure of his mood. I only took my place a the table when he filled two plates and set them down. We discussed my going to see Hakyeon, and Ravi offered some surprisingly thoughtful insights into the situation. When breakfast was finished, he handed me the keys to the Audi and dropped a kiss on my head before heading out the door. I spent the next forty-five minutes getting ready, still wondering if his attitude wasn’t just a trick to throw me off. I still wasn’t sure when I gathered up by messenger bag of books and laptop and headed out to the car. 

 

I tried to focus at school, but it was hard, mostly because Hakyeon had elected to stay home today, to have a talk with his partners. I got a text during fourth period, and checked it at lunch. It was just Ravi, checking in and asking how my day was going. I tapped out a quick message. 

 

_ Going good. Sort of boring. Hey, are you mad at me? _

 

I stared at the text for a minute, tempted to send it as it was, but finally decided there was no way I was going to poke that sleeping bear, so I deleted the last sentence before hitting send. 

 

By the time I walked in the door at the end of the day, I was a nervous wreck and I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown. Was Ravi mad at me, or not. Was I going to be punished, or not? I went in search of him, and found him flipping through a magazine in the living room. He glanced up at me as I walked in. 

 

**Hey, welcome home. Dinner’s in the warmer, I already ate. Let me know if you need anything.**

 

Oh, my god, he was aiming to drive me crazy, wasn’t he? Or was he? Gulping slightly, I twisted my fingers together, opening and closing my mouth a few times, trying to choke out the words. 

 

**R-Ravi? Um,  I-I don’t… Are you mad at me?**

 

I cursed inwardly as I felt tears wet my eyes, and I clenched my fists until I knew my knuckles had turned white, scared to death of what he would say. 

 

(Ra) 

 

**R-Ravi? Um,  I-I don’t… Are you mad at me?**

 

I could hear the tears in his voice. He really was worried about me being mad at him. I figured I had given him punishment enough, and I turned to look at his face, which was pale and those red eyes fighting back tears.

 

**Leo, yes I have been upset. If you don’t trust me enough to wake me and let me know where you're going, then yes that’s a bit upsetting. I just don’t want anything happening to you. My father found me, so any of his cohorts could find me too. If they find me, they find you. I just want you to be safe, and I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. If it’s three in the morning or whenever, I won’t get mad if you talk to me.**

 

Maybe he’ll understand, and I hope he does. I really care for my college preppy lover, and I plan on keeping him around for a long while, but I haven’t told him that yet. I rise up and stride over to the doorway, pulling him into a hug. Leaning back, I cup his face in my hands.

 

**My silly Preppy, Eat your dinner and come join me on the couch.**

 

I kiss him gently on the lips, just a simple kiss to know I am no longer mad, and we’ll get past this together.

 

(Leo)

 

I nod as he speaks, acknowledging that, in the light of what he has said about his father’s cohorts, that what I did was extremely reckless. It’s nice to hear him say, too, that he wants that open communication with me. I resolved to do better from here on in keeping him in the loop of whatever was going on in my life. Then, I find myself wrapped in his arms, stunned for a moment before my arms come up to hold him close. I have a feeling that a hug from Ravi are as rare and precious as diamonds, so I treasure it while it lasts, my lips curving into a smile. He pulls back after a few moments, and cups my face in his hands. 

 

**My silly Preppy. Eat your dinner and come join me on the couch.**

 

He kisses me, softly, and I nod, turning as he releases me and rushing to the kitchen, where I down my dinner, hardly tasting it. I make it a point to rinse my dishes in the sink before tossing them in the dishwasher, and I’m back in the living room in record time. I curl up next to Ravi on the couch, and gaze up at him. 

 

**So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come check me out on Tumblr in Noonas--Room :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is (not to sound too dramatic) the beginning of the end.

(Ra)

 

I told him I just wanted to hang out tonight, since I was going to be spending the next few weeks going between my studio and the new one before opening. If he wanted to go out, then he was free to, but I was sort of in the mood for cuddles.

 

Man, it hits me how weird all this sounds to me, that I want cuddles and that I love someone knowing that this hasn’t be my style for ages. But, I also admit that Leo has something about him that draws me like a magnet, that no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t pull away.

 

We curled up on the couch, and I was asleep, my head on his lap, before I knew it, the feel of his fingers running through my hair lulling me to dream land.

 

(Leo)

 

I’m happy when Ravi tells me that we’re staying in for the night, since he’s about to have to start putting in serious time between the two shops. So, I curl up next to him, happy just to be here in the moment with him. We don’t talk much, just occasional bursts of conversation, but it’s comfortable and I find that I like this time we spend together. After a while, though, I can see that Ravi is getting tired, so I pull at him gently until he’s stretched out on the couch, his head cradled in my lap. I smile down at him, running my hair through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. His eyes flutter shut and his breathing evens out, and I feel my heart expand with how much I love him as he falls asleep. 

 

(Ra)

 

I feel something hard beneath my head, reaching up I find a leg, then another, being used as my pillow. I roll over, only to see that he is asleep, the TV still going on some infomercial. I sit up, gently nudging Leo awake. We head off to bed, both of us asleep before we are fully covered.

 

I spend the next three weeks slammed with clients, finishing the newest studio, hiring tattoo artists, and business meetings with investors. Leo finishes his classes, using the time I’m gone to study in quiet, cram for tests that are coming up, and finishing papers that are due. We still make time for each other, dinners when we can, comfortable silence while I read and he studies. I keep my promise that we don’t go more than a few days without any intimacy, but I must say, those moments are rushed, short, and not always fulfilling for either of us. I won’t call it being in a rut, but just a phase that hopefully will end soon.

 

Very. Soon.

 

The time had come for the studio to open. Leo just finished his last class, leaving only his Senior year to complete. He was going to join me for the opening, along with Hakyeon, who I finally met when he got a tattoo at my shop. Hakyeon did find out he was the father, and Chae and Baekhyun were going to live in the apartment together with him. One big strange family, but we all fit together pretty good. They were like the brothers and sister I never had. Everything was going good, and I was afraid Lady Luck wouldn’t hang around much longer. 

  
  


We hosted an opening party, of course hosted by Yoongi and the crew, so half the city was there. We were doing tattoos for those who wanted one, and everything was going smoothly and Leo was having a great time hanging out and talking to everyone. He had really come out of his shell around my friends, and I stood with my back against the door taking it all in. We partied well into the early morning, and not wanting to drive home I called an Uber for Leo and Hakyeon, so they could get some sleep and I stayed behind to help clean up. 

 

I had sobered up enough by the time we finished, but I still got a ride home from Jay and Eric. I entered through the studio, putting my supplies away before heading to the house half. The lights were off, and the TV was on. I  grabbed a glass and got some water before heading to my bedroom, where hopefully Leo would be. I carried my tired limbs down the hall, but was halted by the sounds of Leo moaning. Maybe he was taking care of something before I got home, so I wanted to join before he finished. I started off faster but froze in mid-step when I heard another moan that wasn’t Leo’s. I ran down the hall, throwing Leo’s bedroom door open and nearly knocking it off the hinges. There, in the bed, was Hakyeon and Leo, fucking like rabbits. Leo must of heard the commotion I caused, because he flew off Hakyeon with a terrified look on his face. His friend on the other hand, looked like he was in pure ecstasy, given the blissed out look on his face. I could feel my gut drop and my heart sink, I blinked several times, trying to get the image out of my head, and hoping I was seeing things. But there they were, both butt naked, drunk as skunks, having sex in my house. I turned around, not saying a word and headed for my room, locking the door behind me. I started the shower, stepping into the stream of boiling hot water, my head bowed forward as the water showered over me. I could hear Leo banging on the door, screaming for me to let him in. I reached out to grab my phone and start my playlist and turned the volume to max. I couldn’t tell how long I stayed in there, but it was long enough for the pounding to stop and the water to run cold. Shutting off the water, I stepped out and dried off. Getting dressed in clean clothes, I grabbed a bag and began throwing in Leo’s clothes that he kept in my room. I unlocked the door, bag in hand and looked for a sign alerting me to where Leo was. The kitchen light was on, so I headed that way. 

 

They were both sitting at the table, now fully clothed, anxious and nervous looks on their faces. Leo tried to speak, but I just held my hand up, daring him to speak one word or even a sound. I kept my eyes focused on the floor, taking slow, deep, steady breaths as I lifted the bag onto the table. 

 

**Get. Out. Get out of my house.**

 

I didn’t raise my voice once, just said what I had to say, then headed out the door to my Audi and climbed in **,** driving to who knows where.

 

(N)

 

The ride to Ravi’s was short, but I was completely wasted so I didn’t pay much attention. My mind was focused on Leo. Since he had been gone, I found that I missed him, a lot, like really a lot. He was always there and I was used to having him around, even when Chae and Baek stayed, I always waited for Leo to get home. Seeing this new side of him, the side that had opened up and smiled and had fun was alluring. I leaned over the seat of the car, and kissed him on his cheek.

 

**I’ve missed you Leo. Really I have.**

 

He told me he missed me too, but I don’t think it was the same way, looking back on it. But I leaned over again, this time turning his head, his goofy drunk grin smiling at me, and I kissed him, hard, and he returned the kiss. It made my head spin. I had always wondered what it would be like to kiss him, have him kiss me back. It was far better than I ever thought it was like. We pulled back, a little bit shocked at what we just did. The rest of the ride was silent. Once we got inside Ravi’s place, Leo opened the liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of tequila, and poured us each a drink. We shared a few more shots, enjoying ourselves. Then I couldn’t resist and stood in front of him. He was looking at me, and just as he was about to speak, I grabbed him, pulling him against my body, my tongue parting his lips in a passionate kiss. One thing led to another and next thing I knew we were stripping each others clothes off, stumbling down the hall to his room. I don’t know if Leo had a second thought, but for a brief second, he lowered his head, but immediately came back up for another kiss. He was dropping to his knees, taking me in his mouth in one thrust. He felt amazing, hot and wet, that tongue, oh god, that tongue. He reached up with both hands, pushing my body back onto the bed. I fell over, pulling him with me. He lowered his head again between my legs, sloppily sucking my cock so that some saliva would run over my balls and down to the rim of my hole. Spreading it around with his finger, he thrust inside me. His finger was long and slender, but just right. He pumped in and out of me, and I lifted my head so I could see him sucking my cock and fingering me at the same time. When he thought I was ready, he bent my knees up, bringing my ass up into the air,where he was kneeling on the edge of the bed. He slammed home, thrust after thrust filling me to the hilt. I could feel our orgasms closing in, until… I heard the bedroom door. 

 

**Shit!**

 

Was all I could say.

 

**Shit, Ravi!**

 

Fuck! Leo and I were caught! That’s when it really hit me what we were doing. We had probably just ruined Leo and Ravi’s relationship, all because I wanted to know what it was like to kiss Leo.

 

We scrambled to get dressed, Leo heading straight for Ravi’s room while I went into the kitchen to sit and wonder if I was about to die by Ravi’s hands. Leo joined me after screaming to be let in for ten minutes then finally giving up. We were both sitting there, heads in our hands when Ravi walked in, placing a bag in front of Leo on the table.

 

He told Leo to get out. Then he was gone.

 

(Leo)

 

The three weeks following our cuddle session passed in a blur, as I tried to keep my head above water with my classes and cramming for exams, and Ravi spending most of his time either working or working on getting the new shop ready for its opening night. Our insane schedules didn’t leave much time for just us, but we tried, snatching whatever time together we could. When I was finally able to breath, I had only hours before the grand opening of the shop. It was the break I really needed, and as we got ready to go, I was practically bouncing with excitement. 

 

The party was over the top, the only kind that Ravi’s friends were used to having, but it was amazing. I drank way too much, egged on by Hakyeon, who had taken up Ravi’s offer to attend. 

  
  


Hakyeon even got his first tattoo, and I was impressed that he didn’t scream like a little girl from the pain. The party wound down late, and I was almost too drunk to feel my own body when Ravi ordered an uber for Hakyeon and I, telling us to go back to the house and sleep it off. I gave him a hug and a sloppy kiss as he herded us into the car, and told him how much I loved him. 

 

The ride home was short, thankfully, but not short enough. Halfway there, Hakyeon leaned over, kissing me on the cheek. 

 

**I’ve missed you, Leo. Really I have.**

 

I was so wasted that I didn’t really register the tone of his voice, but there was no mistaking what he meant when he grabbed my cheeks, turning my head, forcing me to look at him, before his lips crashed down on mine. 

 

I wish I could say I didn’t respond, that I laughed it off, that I passed out, anything to keep the next few hours from happening. But I didn’t. Something in me responded-I don’t know if it was the alcohol, or weeks with no real sex, but when I felt his tongue touch mine, I kissed him back, hard. When we separated, both breathing heavily, it was to find that we were home. We slid from the car, and headed inside. I went straight to the kitchen, pouring us both another drink. I was deep in thoughts of what Ravi and I might get up to when he got home, assuming I could stay awake with the river of alcohol running through me, and somehow, when Hakyeon pulled me to him, he morphed in my alcohol soaked brain into Ravi, and I kissed him back with a hunger born of need. Before I knew it, we were back in my room, and he was spread out, naked, under me. My lips closed over his cock, coating him so liberally with spit that it ran down past his balls and to the crack of his ass. Moaning, I slid one finger down the trail, and twisted it slowly into the tight heat. I added a second finger, working quickly to stretch him for me. When I decided he’d had enough, I grabbed his leg- when had it gotten so slender?- pulling it up and exposing him for me to thrust my cock into him. As his soft walls closed around me, I closed my eyes, fucking him with quick, steady strokes. I could feel my orgasm threatening, could feel him fluttering around him, letting me know he was close as well.

 

Then the door flew open with a loud slam. My eyes flew open and I looked up, startled. When my eyes landed on Ravi’s face, I felt like a ton of cold water had been dropped on my head as reality slammed into me, leaving me confused and scared. What had just happened? I heard someone yelling at me, the voice vaguely registering somewhere inside me as Hakyeon’s. 

 

**Shit! Shit, Ravi!**

 

That was when I realized exactly what I’d done. I’d been missing our ‘us’ so much that I’d let alcohol addle my brain and had sex with my best friend. Letting out a wail as Ravi turned and walked away, I ran after him. His bedroom door shut and was locked in an instant before I got to it. I began beating on it, tears tracking down my face, and me screaming at the blank wood. 

 

**Ravi! Ravi, god, please, let me in! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened, please, let me in! I need to explain. Ravi, PLEASE!!!**

 

I heard the distant sound of water running, then music playing, and I knew he was trying to drown me out, but I kept pounding, until I was almost too weak to lift my hand. Then I felt Hakyeon’s hand on my shoulders. I was beyond angry at him, at myself, and in that moment, I hated us both. I wanted to kill him, then myself, but instead I let him guide me around like a broken puppet, helping me dress and leading me to the kitchen table, where he pushed me into a chair. Then he sat next to me, and we waited for Ravi to appear, and face the music. 

 

When Ravi finally did make it out to the kitchen, he was carrying my duffle bag. He held it out to me, putting it on the table, before he spoke. His tone was even, steady, and dead. 

 

**Get out. Get out of my house.**

 

I was frozen on the outside, but inside I was dying. I couldn’t even move to stop him when he walked out the door, and I heard the Audi revv and peel out of the drive. Numbly, I picked up the duffel bag, not looking at Hakyeon, and followed Ravi’s footsteps out the door. I didn’t know where I was going, or even paying attention to where my feet were taking me. I walked for minutes, hours, I didn’t know. But when I finally raised my head, it was to find that I’d come across the city to Yoongi’s house. I didn’t have a clue why I’d come here of all places, but I didn’t have it in me to question it. I simply walked up the path to the front door, and knocked. When Yoongi answered the door, his face registered shock. 

 

**Preppy! What are you doing here?**

 

Tears slid slowly down my cheeks and I sobbed. 

 

**Y-Yoongi, I d-did something h-horrible. I don't even know h-how it happened. Please, can I stay here tonight?**

 

He sighed, but stepped aside, letting me in before closing and locking the door behind me.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's only a chapter or two left! BTW, this chapter contains mentions of suicidal thoughts/actions, so if that's a trigger for you, you've been warned.

(Ra)

 

I drive trying to decide where I was going, giving Leo enough time to get out. I called Eric, telling him to meet me at the new studio, and not to ask questions.

 

Fort-five minutes later, Eric pulls up to find me sitting on the hood of my car. 

 

**Are your supplies here?**

 

Eric knows me almost better than I know myself, so he nods as he walks by and unlocks the door. I follow him in heading straight for a room and climbed on the chair.

 

**I want a hand holding a shattered heart.**

 

Eric works on me for over an hour, the finished piece perfectly done. Only then does he talk to me.

 

Ravi, tell me what happened.

 

I looked at him, tears threatening to fall. I tell him everything, every last detail, leading up to me ending up here. By the time I’m done, I am a slobbering idiot. Eric just sits there, letting me spill my guts, and listens without speaking. He gets up, heading to his storage cabinet, pulling out his eight hundred dollar bottle of Yamazaki, handing it over to me. 

 

You need this more than I do. You can owe me.

 

I nod in thanks, taking the bottle, opening it and taking a swig, the burn doing nothing to quelch the pain. We stay there for the rest of the night, only talking occasionally, as I nearly finish the bottle. His phone rings, and he steps out to take the call. I look around, thinking how just a few short hours ago, everything was perfect. Or at least I thought.  

 

Eric comes back in, giving me a forlorn look. 

 

That was Yoongi, Leo’s over there. Just thought you should know.

 

**Why in the hell is he at Yoongi’s, and why did he let him in? Whose side is he fucking on?**

 

He just let me scream, his head shaking at my rant. I just sat there, numb and angry. Angry at Leo, Hakyeon, and Yoongi. Angry at myself for letting Leo get to me, letting him in my world, even meeting him at all. 

 

I didn’t care if I was drunk, I was heading home now that I knew Leo was gone. Thanking Eric for letting me use him as a sounding board, I grab my keys from the front desk and head out, dismissing Eric’s concern with me driving. 

 

When I make it home, I hesitate walking through the door. I suck in a deep breath, holding it while I walk through the door. I exhaled slowly as I looked around, everything just as I had left it before this all happened. I somehow made my way to my bedroom, slumping onto the covers and falling asleep where I landed.

 

The next morning, instead of my usual coffee, I grabbed the vodka from my cabinet and poured myself a large glass, downing it in no time. Carrying the bottle with me, I went to Leo’s room. 

 

Leo’s old room.

 

I packed his stuff up, putting the boxes and bags in the storage shed. I stripped my bed, cleaned the house, and got rid of everything that reminded me of  _ him. _ By the time I finished, the bottle was empty, I was already drunk, and starting on the next bottle I grabbed. I went to my studio, waiting for my first client, and looked through my emails.

 

There was a message from Yoongi, which I deleted without reading, and the rest were not that important. I managed to bullshit my way through my client, and set up for the next. I maintained a buzz the whole time, drinking between clients and when I locked up, I finished the next bottle.

 

Back in the house side, I grabbed a quick bite and sat on the couch. Last thing I remember was hitting the playlist on my phone and putting in headphones.

 

(Leo)

 

I wake up the next morning to Yoongi shaking me awake and pressing a cup of black coffee into my hand. He raises an eyebrow, telling me silently that he expects me to drink it. I take a sip as he sits down on the couch opposite me. 

 

Now, tell me what happened last night. Everything. 

 

I do so, stumbling over my words from time to time as he keeps me pinned under his hard stare. When I finish, he sighs and leans back against the back of the couch. 

 

I don’t suppose I have to tell you how royally you screwed up. The question is, what are you going to do to fix it? 

 

I shake my head miserably. 

 

**Not a damn thing. What can I do? I fucked up, and I ruined everything. I think Ravi might happily kill me if he ever sees me again.**

 

Yoongi rolls his eyes as he pulls his phone from his pocket and spends a few minutes tapping keys. 

 

I just sent him an email. I doubt he’ll be responding to texts for a while, but he always checks his email. At least, I hope he’ll respond. I hope you know I’m sticking my neck out for you here. 

 

I do know, and it’s another thing I feel guilty about. Yoongi shouldn’t be doing this for me-putting himself between Ravi and myself. But I am beyond grateful that I at least have one person who cares. When I finish my coffee, Yoongi offers to let me shower first. I dig through my duffle bag and find a pair of jeans with rips in the knees and a long sleeve white shirt, underwear and socks, and carry them to the bathroom, where I climb under the spray and let the tears flow. I spend too much time in the water, only climbing out when it turns too cold for comfort. As I’m drying off and getting dressed, I open a drawer, looking for a comb to run through my hair. My eyes fall on the razor blade, laying in a dull gleam of silver, at the bottom of the drawer, and I’ve picked it up before I can register reaching for it. I look at my reflection in the mirror and wince. How easy would it be to drag the sharp edge across my wrists, opening the vein and going to sleep forever? The thought scares me, and my heart aches at the thought of leaving Ravi, no matter how badly I hurt him. That’s my secret, and my shame-after all that’s happened, I still love him. 

 

So instead of ending my life, I simply made several shallow cuts in the skin of my arms, a dark thrill shooting through me as the blood oozes out and falls into delicate patterns in the sink, until it’s more red than white. After a while, the blood loss makes me light headed, and I have to move carefully as I search for gauze to wrap around my arms. Once they’re bandaged, I pull my shirt over my head, and the sleeves down my arms, hiding what I’ve done. A quick rinse of the sink and everything is back to normal. Or so I think, at least, until Yoongi gives me a sad look as if he knows what I’ve done. I shrug, grabbing my phone and headphones, blaring music into my ears as I walk out of the house. I have no destination in mind, just anywhere is fine. But of course, there’s nowhere I can go to escape Ravi. 

 

(N)

 

I give it two days before I do anything. Two days to let my sorrow and anger simmer, my self-hatred and confusion gnaw at me before I finally work up the courage to go back to Ravi’s house. I know Leo won’t be there, have no idea exactly where he is, because I haven’t heard from him since I watched him walk out of Ravi’s house, head bowed and looking beaten. I know that look, everything that’s happened between him and Ravi my fault, and I need to apologize, maybe even take a beating if Ravi feels so inclined. I have Baek drop me off a block from Ravi’s house, him wishing me luck and telling me he’ll be back to pick me up when it’s all over. I love him so much, and Chae too. They have my back, even though I explained everything that happened the other night. They were shocked, yes, and disappointed, but they took it all in stride. I wish Ravi were the same. 

 

I take a deep breath before I knock on the door, and half of me hopes that Ravi isn’t home. 

 

But of course, my luck has clearly run out over the past forty-eight hours as the door swings open. 

 

(Ra)

 

The next two days go by in a blur. Nothing but drinking, tattooing, drinking some more, and sleeping when I pass out. Eric and Jay stop by to check on me, and I just sit there while they try to talk to me. I can see the hurt in their eyes, but I ignore it. I wish they didn’t care, I don’t. They leave, but I get texts from Namjoon and Yoongi less than three minutes later. Youngguk is the only one who gives me space, only sending one text a day that says  **hey** , and that’s it. 

 

It has been two day since I kicked Leo out, and I am sitting on the kitchen counter, feet swinging as I empty the last bottle in my cabinet. There is a knock at the door, and I jump in my skin. No one has come by without calling, and I fear it’s Leo. My heart doesn’t race in a good way, at the thought of Leo showing up on my door. I look through the peephole to see Hakyeon’s mug. He looks scared shitless, and I get a bit of a thrill from it. I ball my hand into a fist as I throw the door open.

 

**What in the hell are you doing on my doorstep, homewrecker?**

 

Before he even gets a word out, I bring my fisted hand up, punching him right in the mouth, and I see blood already trickling down as I pull my hand back. God, that felt good!

 

(N)

 

Ravi opens the door, and I don’t even have time to prepare myself. 

 

**What in the hell are you doing on my doorstep, homewrecker?**

 

I see his fist coming out of the corner of my eyes, a second before pain explodes in my face. And yea, I deserve that. I spit blood from my mouth and raise my head, grinning like I’ve lost my mind. Which, I obviously have. 

 

**I admit, I deserve that. But only the first one is free. If you hit me again, I’ll hit back. I came to talk to you about Leo. And don’t you dare slam the door in my face. You need to hear me out.**

 

I straighten, waiting to see what he’ll say to that. 

 

(Ra)

 

He grins at me like a fool, and I want to hit him again, but I let him speak this time.

 

**I admit, I deserve that. But only the first one is free. If you hit me again, I’ll hit back. I came to talk to you about Leo. And don’t you dare slam the door in my face. You need to hear me out.**

 

He has nerve, I ‘ll give him that. Just as I get ready to slam the door, he tells me not to, that I need to hear him out. Seriously? 

 

**Hear what out? That you fucked my man, in my house, while I was gone? I think that about sums up what happened. What else is there to say? You’re sorry? Well, I have a feeling we all are.**

 

(N)

 

**No. I mean, yes, I’m sorry it happened, but I’m not here to apologize. I’m here to explain. It was all my fault. And for God’s sake, don’t scoff. I was the one who came on to Leo, even though he was nowhere near sober enough to consent, or even know who I was. Jesus, Ravi, I took advantage of the situation. I’m an asshole for it, but I can’t change it. He thought I was you, should have heard him, only your name from his lips. Am I a terrible friend for it? Yes. Do I regret it? Hell yes. I never meant for this to happen. I can blame it on the alcohol, but the truth is, that’s just an excuse for behavior I should never have followed through with. After it’s all said and done, if I lose Leo, it would be no less than I deserve.**

 

There. I’ve said what I came to say. 

 

(Ra)

 

**No. I mean, yes, I’m sorry it happened, but I’m not here to apologize. I’m here to explain. It was all my fault. And for God’s sake, don’t scoff.**

 

But I scoff at him anyway, but he continues rambling on. He says he’s the one that came on to Leo, but Leo still kissed him back, drunk or not. Yes he is an asshole for doing that, taking advantage of the situation. It stung when he said Leo was calling my name, but Leo knows my body like I know his, he would of known it wasn’t me, even for a split second. 

 

**Well, looks like we both lost him, and you don’t deserve him after what you did, but he’ll forgive you, that’s how he is. Now get off my doorstep before I lose what little self control I have and punch the shit out of that face of yours.**

 

This time I slam the door in his face, wishfully hoping it would hit him as it closed. I gaze through the peephole, watching him shake his head then walk off as he makes a phone call. That whole conversation opened my emotional wound even more. I had to find a way to get Leo and Hak-Ass off my mind. I go to my room, dress in my black skinny jeans, my white long sleeve pull over, and boots. Grabbing my black rimmed glasses, I head out the door, probably too drunk to drive, but oh well, that’s tough shit because I do it anyway. I end up at one of my favorite clubs, my main goal is to forget everything, even if it’s just for tonight. I sidle up to the bar and order a double shot of Soju, down it then head to the dance floor. I stand along the edge, looking over the crowd. I find myself in hunt mode. Anyone looking good enough, and nowhere like Leo, will work for the night. 

 

I spot someone, about my height, jet black hair, and built fairly well. I make my way through the maze of people, coming to stand behind him. I spin him around, and lean over to whisper in his ear. 

 

**I think you are coming home with me tonight.**

 

He shoots me this gummy grin and nods, offering me his hand, which I take without a second thought. We walk to my car in silence. As soon as we get there, I whip him around and press him against the door, kissing him with command. He is compliant, willing, and horny. I manage to open the back door, pushing him in as I follow. There are hands on every part of my body, as he tries to undress me. I go with the feeling, not caring who this person is, only that I need to forget. I return to kissing him, but my mind yells  **STOP,** and I try my damndest to ignore it. It screams at me,  **he wouldn’t want you to do this,** but I argue with myself that he doesn’t care, he did it to me.

 

But I can’t do it to him. I hate Leo so much right now, but I can’t bring myself to be with anyone. I slide my shirt back up over my shoulder, telling the guy to get out of the car. When he starts to whine, I grab him by the neck, open the door and shove him out onto the ground. I climb over the console and sit in the driver’s seat, turning it over and peeling out of the lot. I just want to go home and forget that I ever fell in love. 

 

**Dammit Leo! You should have listened to me and stayed away!**

 

I hit my fist against the steering wheel, cursing Leo and everything under the sky the entire drive.

 

(Leo)

 

I walk, aimlessly, for hours. The music in my ears, changing every few minutes, is the only way I mark time. I see nothing, feel nothing, am nothing. I don’t know how long I’ve been standing on the edge of the bridge, staring down at the river, when it occurs to me just where I am. The bridge is notorious for jumpers, and as I look down at the water, I realize how easy it would be to end it all. The water looks soft and welcoming, and in a matter of moments, it could end all the pain I’m lugging around with me. It’s perfect. But, I need to have closure, so I pull my phone from my pocket, tears blurring my vision so that I have to blink hard to clear them. Then, I focus the phone so that the edge of the bridge is clear, as is the water rushing beneath it. I press the button, capturing the image, and then open a new text to Ravi. I attach the picture and type out a short message. 

 

_ Ravi, I’m so sorry. I know you’ll never forgive me, just like I’ll never forgive myself. But I love you, and I’m so, so sorry. I love you, always. Leo.  _

 

Then I press send and climb up on the rail, prepared to jump.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're winding down on this story-there's one, maybe two chapters left, so I'm going to post them today. I hope everyone has had fun on this rollercoaster! :)

(N)

 

After Baek picked me up, we went home. I need some fresh air and had to get the pent up feelings out of my system. I hop in my car, headed to the club, and danced until my body ached. I was exhausted after today, so I decided to call it a night and take the long way home to unwind. I see Mapo Bridge coming into view, but there is something off. As I get closer I spot a person on the ledge. Great another jumper. The closer I get the more I think I know the person.

 

**Fuck! Leo!**

 

I gun the engine, throwing it in park and jumping out. Just as he hangs his foot over the ledge to step off, I grab his arm, pulling him backwards.

 

**You fucking idiot! What in the hell are you thinking? Jesus Leo! It’s not worth dying over!**

 

(Leo)

 

I hear the squeal of tires and the gunning of an engine as I start to reach out with my foot, comforting myself with the fact that soon, I won’t feel anything anymore. 

 

Until I’m yanked backwards, falling into someone, hard. I scream then, a high-pitched wail that my escape has been taken from me. Sobbing, I fight blindly until my arms are pinned and I can hear Hakyeon cursing at me. 

 

**You fucking idiot! What in the hell are you thinking? Jesus Leo! It’s not worth dying over!**

 

But it is. Oh, God, it is. My heart will always be irreparably broken, and nothing will ever be the same again. Dying is the only way out that I can see. Before I know it, I’ve broken away from him, and I’m screaming, only this time my words are filled with venom. 

 

**Who the fuck are you to tell me what is or isn’t worth dying over?! You, you are the reason I need this! You did this, Hakyeon! You took everything I had away, and destroyed the one good thing I had in my life. I trusted you, and look how you repaid me! I’ve lost Ravi because of you, the one person I’ve ever truly loved. So, get the fuck away from me, you bastard, and let me have this, at least!**

 

I want to run to the edge, hurl myself off into space, but I’m too weak now, too damn weak to do what needs to be done. I sink to the ground, sobbing so hard it hurts, and just wish to die. 

  
  


(N)

 

**I know Leo, I know this is all my fault. But Ravi is dying inside and if you do this, and he finds out, you will fucking destroy him too. If you love that man so much, then for his sake, don’t do this. I will not let you do this to yourself or Ravi.  I know I fucked up everything, and I lost my best friend in the process, but please, please, don’t do this. Hate me all you want, wish me dead even, but neither Ravi or I will be able to live if you are gone.**

 

He falls to the ground, a sobbing, heaping wreck of a shell. I fight to hold him, afraid to let go in case he bolts. I let him cry until he can’t cry anymore. I carry him to my car, put him in the passenger seat, and drive him to Yoongi’s, the only place I know where he can be watched.

 

(Leo)

 

I cry until my body just can’t anymore, holding tight to Hakyeon, my only lifeline in this storm. When I’ve sobbed myself dry, he picks me up and carries me to his car, putting me gently in the passenger seat. The car ride is silent, until I remember what he said on the bridge. 

 

**Ravi is dying inside and if you do this, and he finds out, you will fucking destroy him too.**

 

**Oh, god.**

 

My voice comes out a soft whisper, but in the silence, it sounds loud. Hakyeon glances as me, concerned, and I turn to face him. 

 

**Hakyeon, I sent Ravi a picture. Of the bridge, the water. I even apologized. He probably thinks I’m dead now. Jesus, what have I done?**

  
  
  


(N)

 

**You did what? What in the actual hell were you thinking? Don’t answer that! Shit!**

 

I get to Yoongi’s, and explain everything as fast as I can. He takes Leo inside, sitting him on the couch with Yongguk and Namjoon who guard him like hawks. I bolt out as fast as I came in, Yoongi yelling at me to be careful! My first thought is to head to Ravi’s and go from there.

  
  


(Ra)

My phone chirps, and I pull the message up on my dash screen. All is see is a bridge and water. Then I see the text.

 

_ Ravi, I’m so sorry. I know you’ll never forgive me, just like I’ll never forgive myself. But I love you, and I’m so, so sorry. I love you, always. Leo.  _

 

What the? Shit! Dammit Leo, you fucking idiot!

 

I know right where he is. I call Jay on my speaker, knowing he might be closer than I am.

 

**Jay! It’s Ravi! Where are you right now!**

 

I can’t hide the urgency in my voice, and Jay hears it as well.

 

Man, I’m like three cars behind you! You just flew past me! What’s the hurry?

 

**It’s Leo, he’s at Mapo, on the damn ledge and I think he’s going to jump!**

 

**I’m right behind you!**

 

I press the pedal as far as it will go,knowing good and well that I am going way over a hundred miles an hour. I’ve got to reach him. 

 

**Dammit Leo, please don’t be gone.**

 

I feel the steering wheel vibrating, but I keep pushing it. Since it’s dark, I don’t see the large pothole up ahead. When my tire hits it, I am suddenly thrown sideways, the car spinning rapidly towards the car in front of me. I grip the wheel, a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, knowing this isn’t going to be good. I am thrown forward with the impact, the windshield shattering with the forceful blow. I remember going upside down, then nothing. 

 

I am physically jolted awake, a searing pain in my chest. I hear voices echoing around my head, I hurt, every cell in my body aching and burning. But I see black again. Then Leo’s face fading away. I scream for him but he doesn’t hear me. 

 

I’m dead. 

 

I feel at peace.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, everyone, please take note!!! THERE IS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!!! Buuutttt, because I love all of you so so much, I have a surprise waiting for you at the end of the epilogue!!! :D

(Leo)

 

I fall asleep at some point, nestled between Namjoon and Yongguk, my head coming to rest on Namjoon’s shoulder. When I wake up, it’s to find them still watching over me, as if neither of them needs to sleep. Suddenly, all the events of the hours past come flooding back to me. I start to jump up, but Yongguk's hand closes around my upper arm, keeping me on the couch. I look at him desperately, but he only shakes his head. 

 

**You’re not going anywhere. Yoongi told us to keep you here, and keep an eye on you, so that’s what we’re going to do.**

 

I understand that, but I turn to Namjoon anyway. 

 

**Please, what about Ravi? Is there any news?**

 

A sad look crosses Namjoon’s face. 

 

**Nothing yet. But if we hear anything, we’ll tell you. Now, you should go back to sleep.**

 

I don’t want to, but the stress and fear are pulling me under again, and I drift off. 

 

I wake up to the sound of the front door opening, and this time I’m able to rise from the couch. Jay comes walking in, his eyes red, and I feel my heart drop to my feet. I can’t speak, can’t think, but Yongguk does the asking for me. 

 

**Where is Ravi? What happened?**

 

I see Leo sitting on the couch, and my first instinct is to grab that motherfucking idiot and strangle the life out of him! Because of his stupid text Ravi is dead, he was dead when I pulled him out of the car and when they loaded his body in the ambulance.

 

**It’s all your fucking fault. Your fucking stupid ass text killed him! Because of you I had to drag my dead friend from his car and watch them load him in an ambulance. You mother fucking selfish little shit!**

 

I lunge for him, but Yongguk is on me before I get a full step in. I am crazed with anger, and I keep swinging at Leo until I am hauled from the room.

 

(Leo)

 

Dead. That’s the only word I hear from Jay, and it’s crystal clear and sharp as any blade ever forged. I hear a loud, keening wail, the sound ripped from a broken soul, and it’s only when I have to take a breath that I realize it’s coming from me. 

 

**No! No no no no! Ravi, no, please, God! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. This can’t be real. Please, please, make this not real!!!**

 

I feel someone holding me, look up to see Namjoon’s face, vaguely register that Yongguk is dragging Jay from the room to keep him from murdering me. But I want to die. If Ravi is dead, then what do I have to live for? If I could will myself dead, I would, if only to see his face one last time before I spend an eternity in hell, burning for this. 

 

(Ra)

 

I hear a very annoying beeping sound. The afterlife doesn’t have alarms, at least I don’t think they do. Then I am keenly aware that I am in excruciating pain and I am not breathing on my own. My throat hurts, and I can’t talk. It’s pitch black and I can’t find my way out. 

  
  


(JAY)

I am fighting against Youngguk’s arms holding me in a bear hug when my phone rings. I look at him, and he grabs it from my back pocket, swiping to answer, and putting it to my ear. I slump in his arms at the news that is shared over the other end. I nod and he hangs it up for me.

 

**He’s alive young. He’s hanging on, barely, but he’s alive.**

 

He lets me go, setting both of my feet on the floor. I run, grabbing Yoongi by the collar and telling him they news. We look at Leo. I still want to kill that piece of shit, but right now one of my best friends is barely hanging on to life.

 

**You’re a lucky motherfucker, Leo. But if he dies again. I am coming to find you, and I will slowly tear you limb from fucking limb and enjoy every second of it!**

 

(Leo)

 

I hear the phone ring, silence, then Jay appears in the doorway, grabbing Yoongi and murmuring the most beautiful words in the world. 

 

Ravi is alive. 

 

I sink to the floor, Namjoon guiding me down so I don’t hurt myself. He keeps his arms around me as Jay threatens to end my life should Ravi die again, and Namjoon shakes his head. 

 

Enough, Jay. Can’t you see that to lose Ravi is the worst punishment he can endure? You tearing him limb from limb couldn’t hurt any worse. 

 

I nod, my shoulders shaking even though I’m too dehydrated to cry anymore. Namjoon helps me up onto the couch, and then I whisper. 

 

**What happens now?**

 

(Yoongi)

Right now Leo, we are staying here.  There's nothing we can do for him, not right now. You aren't going anywhere, so just stay put. When we all calm down, especially you Jay, we will decide what the next step is. He a fighter Leo, we just have to hope he is strong enough for this fight.

 

(Ra)

I hear  _ his _ voice, but I can't see him. 

 

I’m sorry Ravi, I'm so, so sorry

 

**I'm sorry too Leo. I wish I had gotten to you, I wish I had given you a chance to explain. Hell, I've done worse, but I was hurt, my heart was shattered, and…**

 

**Please forgive me, Leo. Be happy wherever you are. I love you and I forgive you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.**

 

I wonder if I'm in my in personal afterlife. No one else is here, I'm alone, just as I have always been, except for when I had Leo. The only real life I had was with him, and now he's gone, I'm gone.

 

**Stop that damn beeping!**

 

(Yoongi)

We all say around the house, me keeping Jay from killing Leo, Namjoon keeping Leo from doing out and the rest of us waiting for any news on Ravi.

 

Jay's phone rang early the next morning. Ravi was stable but still in a coma, he was able to have visitors, so we picked groups to go see him. I was going to be with Leo and Namjoon. Jay was going with Eric first, then Youngguk and Jay would go last. 

 

(Jay)

The last time I saw Ravi, his body was crumpled on the roof of his car which was upside down. There was blood everywhere, a bone sticking out from his arm and another from his thigh. His body was twisted in an angle that no body should naturally be in. I screamed his name, but he never answered. I slid to a stop, sliding on the ground as I came  to his car. He wasn’t breathing or moving. I grabbed his good arm, tugging she pulling until I had him free. I gathered him in my arms, tears distorting my vision, as I held him. People were everywhere, but I yelled at them to get away. I faintly heard the sirens, but all I could see was his limp body, converted in blood and shattered bones, lying dead in my arms. They had to restrain me, just so they could get to his body and load him on the stretcher. One of his arms fell to the side dangling, like the fragile life gone too soon. They took him away from me, I wanted to be with him, tell him he would be happy, but I couldn't go. Then I came here, to Yoongi’s and the cause of Ravi's death was sitting on the couch.

 

Now that we knew Ravi was alive, I still wanted to murder Leo, but I wanted to see Ravi more, so I promised to play nice, unless Ravi didn't make it. Leo was as good as dead if Ravi died.

 

(Yoongi)

We all filled in to the hospital ICU Ward. Every one of us a zombie, our faces painted with fear and worry. Eric and Jay went in on the first rotation of visitors. When they came out, we could tell Eric and Jay both had been crying. Then it was our turn. 

**Leo, are you sure you're going to be okay seeing him?**

 

He numbly nodded at me.

 

**Joon and I will be right there with you.**

 

This wasn't our Ravi. Tubes, bandages, metal rods holding bones together, and a monitor strapped to his chest. The ventilator was breathing for him, his chest giving the appearance of smooth steady breaths. His tattoos stood out against his pale skin, and he literally looked like death. His face, usually full of laughs when we were together, fooled one into thinking he was just sleep. He looked at peace, almost. This wasn't our Ravi, I wanted our Ravi back. 

 

(Leo)

 

I don't know what I expected to see when we got to the hospital, but the reality was so much worse than anything I could have imagined. Ravi looked too pale to be alive, and tubes and wires made him look more machine than human. His tattoos stood out in stark relief against his ghostly skin, including a new one, a hand holding a broken heart. 

 

I knew that one was because of me. 

 

I was glad that I didn't have to see him with Jay by my side, because seeing his friend like that might have made him snap and murder me, even if Ravi were still breathing. Yongguk and Namjoon stood by, the latter glancing from me to Ravi, and finally reached out, touching Yongguk's shoulder. As if they had decided silently, they slipped from the room, leaving me alone with Ravi. 

 

**Ravi, I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry. I know what I did was selfish, but I realized I don't want to, can't, live without you. Somehow you've become my world, and when I destroyed that, I didn't know how to go on. And now, because of my selfish actions, you're lying here, suffering. I swear, Ravi, if you'll just wake up, I'll never ask another thing of you. If the last words I ever hear you say to me are that you hate me, and for me to go away and never come back, I'll hold them until my dying day. And I'll hope for your happiness, no matter how much it kills me that I had you and let you go. Ravi, I love you, and I always will.**

 

Then I laid my hands on the side rail of the bed and buried my head in them, sobbing out all my anger, fear, and heartbreak. 

 

(Ra)

 

This afterlife really sucks, I keep hearing sounds that are going to drive me crazy. Not only do I hear that incessant beeping, but now someone is talking. Wait, I know that voice. That’s  _ his _ voice. I search around in the dark, calling out his name.

 

**Leo? Leo? Where are you?**

 

I need to find him, I just want to tell him that I still love him, that I’m sorry for pushing him away. I just want him back in my arms, one more time. I just need to reach out. I lift my hands up, feeling around in the dark, searching blindly for him.

 

**Leo, Preppy?**

 

(Leo)

 

**Leo, preppy?**

 

The words come out garbled around the tube in his throat, but they're the most beautiful, shocking sounds I've ever heard. 

 

**Oh, my God, Ravi!!**

 

I wanted nothing more than to gather him in my arms, laugh and cry at the same time. But suddenly he's thrashing on the bed and I'm panicked, thinking maybe he's dying. I grab him, wrapping my arms around him and doing my best to hold him still as I call out desperately. 

 

**Namjoon, Yongguk, Jay, Yoongi, help!**

  
  


(Ra)

I see a bright light that I run towards. Stepping into it, I see Leo, all red eyes and surprised. I can't breath and there's something choking me. I begin flailing my arms, him suddenly wrapping me in an embrace as he screams for our friends. Suddenly the room is filled with people and I go wide-eyed with fear and confusion. I look around with a questioning look, as Jay and Yoongi try to calm me down. I fix my eyes back on Leo. How is he here? I focus on him while someone is shining a bright beam of light in my eyes and another person is silencing the alarms. I am told to lay back, and tilt my head, which I do with so much effort. A tube is slid out of my throat, and I gasp for air. 

 

**Leo?**

 

It’s nothing more than a faint whisper, my voice scratchy and dull. I feel him take my hand as he tells me it’s okay. Jay is crying and laughing at the same time, cussing me like a sailor, Eric and Yoongi are also crying, Yongguk and Namjoon slapping each other on the back. They fade away, to where it's just me and Leo. 

 

I am ready to be at peace, no more pain, no more fear of heartache. I am tired. I look at Leo, his eyes registering a subtle change and they flash with fear.

 

**Leo, I love you. No one else, remember that. I’m sorry.**

 

I close my eyes, the last image I will ever see is Leo’s face, full of love. Love for me, that I had the privilege of experiencing and sharing. I will always love him. Goodbye Leo, my love.

 

(Leo)

 

The room is suddenly full of people, our friends laughing, crying, in a symphony of sound, and a ballet of movement as nurses hurry in to turn off alarms and remove the tube from Ravi’s throat. But it all fades away to the background when my eyes met Ravi’s, and he whispers my name. There's something dark in his eyes, something haunting, and it freezes my blood. I can feel him slipping away from me, and there’s nothing I can do to keep him here. 

 

**Leo, I love you. No one else, remember that. I’m sorry.**

 

Oh, no. No, God please, I can't lose him again. But there's no denying as Ravi passes beyond my reach, and suddenly he's gone, and I'm left truly alone. Something in me dies in that instant, and I know I will never love again. 

 

_ Ravi, wherever you've gone, I will always love you, and only you. Goodbye, my love. _


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the end of the story. I want to thank everyone who stuck around when updates were spotty at best, and who were kind enough to leave kudos. Check out the notes at the end of the chapter for a surprise for all your love!!! :D

_ Five years later _

 

**Uncle Leo, what are we doing here?**

 

I smile down at Ravi, his face scrunched up in a look that says he's not sure if he's happy to be here with me or not. Usually when I take him out, it's to the park or for ice cream, not to a cemetery. 

 

**I want to introduce you to someone.**

 

Our footsteps make crunching sounds on the leaves as he follows me toward the back corner of the grounds, near the fence under a sprawling cherry tree. It's a beautiful spot in the spring, covered with cherry blossoms. I always thought Ravi would approve. 

 

When we get to the simple black stone that marks his resting place, I kneel down so that I'm at the same height as my godson. 

 

**Ravi, this is your uncle, who your parents named you after. He was an amazing man, and I'm sure you two would have gotten along wonderfully. You take after him a lot, you know. You're smart, funny, and talented. And a bit wild sometimes too.**

 

He grinned up at me. 

 

**What did he like to do, uncle Leo?**

 

**Well, he was an amazing artist. If you stick to it the way you do now, I'm sure one day you'll be as good as he was.**

 

His eyes shining, for he wanted nothing more than to be famous for his art one day, Ravi nodded firmly. 

 

**Then I'll work hard to make him proud. And you, uncle Leo.**

 

He wrapped his arms around my legs in a brief hug, something he didn't do often, and then he was running, calling back for me to hurry, so we could go for ice cream. My fingers reached out and brushed the stone gently, and I smiled. 

 

**I love you, Ravi. I always will.**

 

A gust of wind swept through the tree above me, and there, coming to rest gently on the stone by my fingertips, was a single, perfectly formed cherry blossom. I smiled, picking it up and holding it to my lips. 

 

Ravi still loved me too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. True to my feelings, I got to the end of this story and just couldn't handle having it end the way it did. Soooo, I wrote a happy ending!!! Yay!!! The only catch (which raviownsme and I agreed on) was that you have to ask for it, and it'll be sent to each requester individually. (It won't be posted on here.) Sooo, if you're a sucker for happy endings, ask away!! Love you all!!
> 
> <~*LL*~>


End file.
